Gilmore Girls: 20 Things Wrong With Lorelai We All Choose To Ignore

The love for the series Gilmore Girls has yet to diminish in the 18 years since the show first aired on the WB. Free-spirited Lorelai and her mature daughter Rory, the two must now learn to tolerate Friday Night dinners with Lorelai’s overbearing parents. The character of Lorelai became the epitome of “cool mom." With her laid-back attitude, immature tendencies, and sharp backtalk, fans soon fell in love with the TV mom. Add in the counterbalancing mature, straight-laced daughter, and you have a perfect duo.  Their family suffered many setbacks in love, their futures, and life, all the while remaining as charming as ever.

Fans mourned the end of the series back in 2007, after seven years on the air. However, Netflix brought back the Gilmore family for the revival series Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. Following an intensive promotion campaign (remember those Luke’s Diners popping up across the country?), the series premiered in November 2016. Continuing the story of the two women from the original series, fans received some closure for old stories, but hope for new ones as well.

In the midst of all of the fan devotion and love, we’ve managed to find several aspects of Lorelai’s life and history that truly bother us. These truths delve below the surface to reveal some of the dark parts of the character and her relationships with those around her.

Despite our deep love for the character, we managed to find 20 Things Wrong With Lorelai We All Choose To Ignore.

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Gilmore Girls Rory Showing the Shed
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20 She Lived in a shed when she could have lived in a real home

Gilmore Girls Rory Showing the Shed

Lorelai’s messy relationship with her parents stemmed back to her resistance to their lifestyle. Brought up in a reasonably well-off home, she spent her life attending prestigious events and rubbing elbows with other wealthy children. However, she never enjoyed this life, feeling as though her she had no control over her future and her own choices.

Not long before her planned coming out to society, she found out she was pregnant by her boyfriend, Christopher. Her parents pressed the issue for the two to marry but she refused. She chose instead to run away once the baby was born, leading her to a modest job as a maid and living in a shed. She allowed her pride and rebellious nature to compromise her child's early life when she had a supportive home to raise Rory in.

19 She relies on her parents but still complains about them

Gilmore Girls Winter Rory Luke Emily Lorelai

With much of her life seemingly planned out for her by her parents, Lorelai felt the need to carve out her own path. She scraped by for years, working odd jobs and living in a shed. However, she never compromised on her decision to escape their hold on her-- that is until she needed help with her daughter’s tuition for school.

Once the Friday night dinners became the payment for helping out, their deal seemed to renew their relationship, though things were still tense. However, Lorelai found herself continually relying on her parents' help after that while simultaneously complaining about how she didn’t need it.

18 She Constantly feeds her child junk food

Gilmore Girls Lorelai and Rory

Fans of the show fell in love with the friend-like bond between Rory and Lorelai. Lorelai often went against conventional parenting methods to focus more on having fun with her child. As one of the many responsibilities of a parent, she proved food and shelter for her daughter. Unfortunately, over the years, Lorelai never took the time to learn how to cook. Having no other options, she indulged in junk food with her daughter on a daily basis.

Not only did they live off of junk food and take out leftovers, but the two ate many meals at Luke’s Diner as well. A diet of greasy diner food, gallons of coffee, and pounds of junk food do not make for a healthy lifestyle.

17 She dated Rory's teacher

Lorelai Dating Max Medina

Lorelai’s relationship with Max started in the episode “The Deer Hunters” when she attended Parent Night at Chilton. The idea of a parent dating a student was deemed taboo, so there was certain hesitance as to whether they should pursue anything.

At one point, her commitment fears rose to the surface and led to her almost breaking up with him. The two reconciled but picked the worst place to do so. The two decided to make out like teenagers during a Parent Night in his classroom.  Thanks to Paris, word spread of their relationship, endangering Max’s job and negatively affecting Rory’s school life.

16 Lorelai Didn't Tell Her Parents She Was Engaged

Gilmore Girls Max and Lorelai

Lorelai’s relationship with Max became a turning point in her life. Not only was it her first real relationship in the show, but also a significant one after Christopher. Although Max was typically not her type, she continued to date him and allowed him to shower her with romantic gestures. After taking a break oce their secret relationship was found out, the two come back together thanks to his impromptu proposal.

Despite being (somewhat) happy about the engagement, Lorelai's resentment toward her parents proved far more significant than her happy news. Her mother was heartbroken to find out secondhand from Sookie later.

15 She Skipped Town To Avoid her own wedding

Lorelai Gilmore in her wedding dress in Gilmore Girls

Despite witnessing, first-hand, her irresponsible tendencies as a parent and her general childlike behavior, Max grew to care for Lorelai. He made sure to spend time with her and divide his energy between teaching and their relationship. Attentive, caring, and responsible, Max should sound appealing. However, Lorelai never grew to love Max the way he loved her. Despite having these hesitations, she still agreed to marry him.

However, her fears of commitment got the best of her, so she decided to not show up to their wedding. She fled town to avoid the event and having to break up with him in person.

14 Silent Treatments vs. having a real conversation

Alexis Bledel as Rory Gilmore and Lauren Graham as Lorelai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls

The laid-back relationship between Rory and Lorelai seemed like the ideal mother/daughter situation. They often indulged in movies and junk food nights, spoke very casually to each other, and had none of the restrictions that Lorelai faced in her youth. However, whenever the two BFFs clashed over rather important issues, they never learned how to express their feelings honestly.

Despite their supposed closeness, several times, Lorelai and Rory decided not to speak to each other instead of resolving their issues.  Sadly, they have both done it to each other throughout the series, with their longest silence last over a year.

13 She is a bad friend to Sookie

Melissa McCarthy as Sookie on Gilmore Girls

Sookie and Lorelai met at the Independence Inn when Lorelai moved into the shed with newborn Rory. Since then, the two remained close and considered each other best friends. Sadly, Sookie received a lot of mistreatment at the hands of Lorelai over the years.

She was treated like a personal assistant to resolve any last-minute problems Lorelai had. Lorelai even convinced her to bake goods for her for a bake sale at Rory’s school. Also, Lorelai often overly criticized Sookie for her life choices. In “Paris is Burning”, Lorelai shamed her friend for her lack of a love life.  With Sookie serving as the mature one in their friendship, she had to face far too many incidents caused by Lorelai’s selfishness and immaturity.

12 She ruined her the baptism of her best friend’s children

Rory and Lorelai with babies in Gilmore Girls

In bringing to light the off-balanced relationship between Lorelai and Sookie, we have to highlight one of the worst cases of Lorelai’s selfish behavior. Sookie decided to ask Lorelai and Rory to be the godmothers of her children. She hoped that the gesture would help to bring the two women back together, as they were engaged in another round of silent treatments.

Unsurprisingly, things do not go as planned. During the ceremony, Lorelai decided to take the chance to confront Rory about why Sookie had her new phone number, but she didn’t. The two continued to argue throughout the ceremony to the point that they both stormed out-- with the babies!

11 Rory Gave Up Her Childhood Freedom To Help Raise Her Mother

Lorelai and Rory in Gilmore Girls

The dynamic between Lorelai and Rory often felt unbalanced. Granted, the two women considered themselves to be very close, more so than a standard mother/daughter relationship. They learned to rely on each other for their needs, both emotional and practical.

However, due to the lack of true parental structure, Rory never really got to experience being a kid. With a constant need to keep her mother reigned in from being too irresponsible and immature, she had to grow up fairly quickly. Rory became responsible for her mother’s emotional well-being and found she was pressured to maintain the role. Even after she graduated high school and went to college, she still found she needed to, occasionally, step away from her normal young adulthood to care for her mother’s needs instead.

10 She was jealous of her parents’ relationship with Rory

Although her wealthy upbringing provided many unique opportunities and advantages that most people could never experience, Lorelai focused only on her desire for independence as a young teenager. When she found herself back in the home that confused her for so many years, she did all she could to save Rory from a similar fate. Her own resentment toward her parents led her to deny her parents a relationship with her daughter.

Eventually, Rory decided to actively foster her relationship with her grandparents, wanting to get to know them. Soon, Lorelai became jealous of their relationship and continued to focus on keeping them apart as best she could. Not only did she not take into consideration Rory’s feelings for her grandparents, but she pushed her own selfish agenda onto her child’s life.

9 Lorelai and Christopher eloped without telling Rory

Gilmore Girls - Lorelai and Christopher

The relationship between Christopher and Lorelai always brought trouble. After becoming pregnant by him, Lorelai abandoned her old life and started anew with her daughter. He was barely in their lives after that; just occasionally showing up for Rory when it was convenient. Despite their history, Lorelai kept going back to him, thinking he was the one she was destined to be with.

In season 7, the couple tried yet again to make their relationship work, eventually leading to the two to become engaged. However, the engagement and marriage took place during a time when Lorelai and Rory had stopped speaking. Much like her choice to hide her engagement to Max from her mother, she neglected to share her new marriage with her daughter.

8 Lorelai compared her mother to a dictator... in print!

Gilmore Girls Lorelai and Emily

Upon returning to her parents for support for Rory, Lorelai and her mother resumed their previous pastime of stubbornly bumping heads over everything. Although they truly wanted to reconnect with her and get to know their granddaughter, Lorelai did her best to keep them out of their lives. There have been occasions, however, when her hurtful words may have been more cruel than defensive.

In the episode “Blame Booze and Melville” in season 5, Lorelai took an opportunity to get the Dragonfly Inn featured in a travel magazine into a chance to jab at her mother. The final published magazine contained numerous quotes from Lorelai bashing her mother and likening her to a infamous dictator.

7 Friendship over motherhood

Winter in Stars Hollow Rory and Lorelai in Gilmore Girls

The idea of having a mother who served as more of a best friend than a parent might seem ideal. This relationship definitely appealed to many fans, making them envy what Rory and Lorelai had. However, beneath the surface of the relationship, we learn that their casual relationship didn’t eliminate the need for a parent.

We see this when Rory finally experiences significant struggles in season 5-- dropping out of Yale after stealing a boat and moving into her grandparents' place. When Rory finally needs some discipline and a strict mother, rather than a best friend, Lorelai can't provide that and Rory can't accept it.

6 Her constant need to put others down

Gilmore Girls Fat Shaming Scene

We loved how quick-witted and clever that Lorelai was with everyone she met. However, sometimes her sharp tongue would turn her witty responses into horribly mean attacks. From mistreating her best friend to insulting staff at a hospital, her words could truly hurt people around her.

In Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, fans witnessed one such scene in the episode “Summer”. While lounging at a pool at the beginning of the episode, Rory and Lorelai began body-shaming other people. Lorelai took the lead and yelled “Belly alert!” at an overweight man as he passed by. Following her mother’s excellent example, Rory managed to insult a man who welcomed her back home by calling him fat to his face.

5 She hypocritically criticized Rory for her relationship with Dean

One of the most disliked storylines in the original seriesawas what became of the relationship between Dean and Rory. Although Dean got married, the two still decide to begin a relationship since they had lingering feelings for one another. In the season 4 episode “Raincoats and Recipes”, Lorelai watched the two of them leave Rory’s bedroom, and she later confronted her daughter about the relationship.

Although she had every right to call out her daughter’s bad judgment, Lorelai actually committed the same mistake earlier in the series. Back in season 2 when Christopher returned to Stars Hollow for Rory’s debutante ball, he and Lorelai get together, despite him being in a relationship with Sherry. However, he decided to stay with Sherry once she announced she was pregnant.

4 She constantly put her love life ahead of her daughter

Luke Danes and Lorelai Gilmore first date horoscope in Gilmore Girls

As much as she tried to remain independent and strong, Lorelai often found herself making compromising decisions in her love life. Many of her choices came at the expense of her daughter, despite most single parents being hesitant about introducing new people into the lives of their children. In addition, they try to put the needs of their children before their own. In the case of Lorelai, however, she made decisions impulsively, often without thinking of her daughter’s well-being.

Lorelai should have never had a relationship with her daughter’s teacher, and her constant back and forth with Rory’s biological father would deeply impact both of their lives. She made selfish decisions in regards to both and left Rory out of her thought process.

3 Lorelai's speech at her father’s funeral

Gilmore Girl Funeral Scene

Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life brought viewers back into the lives of the Gilmore women after the conclusion of the original series. Although many aspects of the characters’ lives had changed, some of them still had the same lingering issues and problems. The relationship between Lorelai and Emily seemed as strained as ever. This time, the two women had to face the passing of Lorelai’s father and impending funeral.

With her feelings still very mixed about her parents and the effect they had on her, Lorelai tapped into some deep seeded resentment at his funeral. She managed to give a truly awful speech at his funeral, painting her father in the worst possible light. Although some of her resentment may be justifiable, it was not the right time.

2 She betrayed Luke

Scott Patterson as Luke Danes and Lauren Graham as Lorelai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls series

Audiences endured countless bad relationship choices by both Lorelai and Luke because we knew the truth: they were meant for each other. Finally, in season 4, they finally decide to give the relationship a try. Happily, ever after, right? Nope, not at all.

The writers decided to throw a big wrench in their relationship with the addition of Luke’s surprise 12-year-old daughter and her mother. Growing more and more resentful of him putting their lives on hold for his daughter, Lorelai eventually gave him an ultimatum: to either elope with her or end everything. His lack of an answer fed into her insecurities and led her to sleep with Christopher (again). The next morning, Luke arrived ready to elope. Oops. She then had to break the news of her infidelity and ended their relationship.

1 Her bigoted comments

Lorelai Gilmore and Luke Danes movie night in Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls gained a reputation for its fast and witty dialogue. Rory and Lorelai, especially, engaged in rapid-fire exchanges with ease. Whenever Lorelai would speak to someone, audiences would be stunned by her razor-sharp humor filled with plenty of pop culture references. Although this dialogue was usually praised for being entertaining, there have been incidences when the jokes lost their appeal over time.

Years after the show’s conclusion, it has been criticized for having many outdated terms, language, and discriminatory writing. For example, in one scene, Lorelai mentioned to Luke how they had to get plastic surgery, gender reassignment surgery, and leave the country to not look weird when kissing. Such homophobic and transphobic lines would never hold up today.


What other problems with Lorelai do we ignore to enjoy Gilmore Girls? Let us know in the comments!

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