Sean Gunn may have played an awkward (albeit hilarious) character on Gilmore Girls but he has since taken more serious roles in films like The Suicide Squad, Guardians of the Galaxy, and The Avengers. As a side character, Kirk wasn't supposed to steal the show as much as he did but he was such a lovable part of Stars Hollow that it was impossible not to.
Knowing this, it was shocking when Gunn said he almost didn't take the role. According to Cheat Sheet, he said, "My agent at the time recommended that I pass on the [Gilmore Girls] audition. I guess it was because it was a ‘co-star’ and not a ‘guest star’ role, or something silly like that.” Luckily for fans, Gunn took the audition, got the part, and had some of the funniest lines in the show.
“I Had An Imaginary Girlfriend For A While When I Was Young, But She Left Me.”
In 'Pulp Friction,' Kirk was eating dinner alone at Luke's Diner and had a quick heart-to-heart with Luke about his love life with Lulu. He hilariously said Lulu was his first "real" girlfriend after having an invisible girlfriend as a child.
Luke didn't quite know what to say so Kirk carried on the conversation, noting although Lulu was real, he wished his mother liked her more. It was one of the best (and silliest) Kirk moments.
“I Want To Get The Healthy Glow Of Someone Who Goes Consistently To The Gym Without Actually Having To Go.”
Kirk was one of the few characters on Gilmore Girls that got better and better. Although he wasn't a main character, he was a recurring character who made for lighter moments on the show.
In one scene, he noted that he wanted to get the "healthy glow of someone who consistently goes to the gym, without having to go to the gym." Lorelai didn't always love Kirk but this was a sentiment that she whole-heartedly agreed with since she too hated working out and eating clean.
“Oh, Man. I Think I Got A Cavity, I Gotta Stop Partying Like This.”
In 'But I'm a Gilmore!' Rory was bothered that Logan's parents didn't like her as much as she expected — she was a prestigious Gilmore after all. This was a big episode for Logan and Rory's relationship but it was followed by drama and too much to drink.
Confused by her relationship, Rory and Paris had too much to drink and were hungover the next day. Oddly enough, Kirk strolled into Lorelai's kitchen with them the next morning for breakfast, with an opening line about partying too hard causing cavities.
“One Day It Occurred To me: Cows Never Wrinkle.”
In 'Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days,' Kirk showed up at the Independence Inn to pitch a new product he created. Ever the businessman with countless jobs, Kirk realized one day that "cows never wrinkle." Wanting to get to the bottom of it, Kirk realized the biggest difference between cows and humans: hay.
He created a line of beauty creams called Hay There and was hoping it would improve peoples' beauty regiments. Lorelai and Michel laughed at Kirk's idea but were fascinated by the amount of research he put into this. Kirk was an oddball but it was an unpopular opinion not to commend his work ethic.
“Kirk Likes My Presence Announced Before I Enter Any Room That He’s In.”
As many adorable Paul Anka moments there were in Gilmore Girls, there was a pet that came before him: Kirk the cat.
In season 3, Kirk bought a cat and named him after himself. And while they had similar names, they couldn't have been more different. Kirk the cat wound up being too spunky for Kirk the human. Kirk showed up at Luke's Diner with scratches and Band-Aids all over him. He explained that Kirk the cat hated when Kirk was in the same room with him — he even had to sleep in the gazebo one night.
“Excuse Me, Can I Get A Napkin To Put My Napkin On?”
In season 4, Luke hired a teen in need of a job — Brennon Lewis. Rory went to school with Brennon and was a little shy about seeing him again at Luke's. Funny enough, Brennon was so laid back that he didn't even recognize Rory.
It eventually came to be that Brennon was too forgetful and chill to be a waiter at Luke's. In one scene, Kirk asked Brennon for a napkin, and when Brennon took the napkin out of his back pocket, Kirk demanded a new napkin for his napkin because he didn't trust it. Asking for a napkin for another napkin was too funny to be said by anyone other than Kirk.
“You’re Welcome, Dear. My Name's Kirk. I Run The Place.”
In one of the memorable scenes from Luke's Diner, Luke was confused when he saw Kirk waiting tables at his diner. Wearing an apron and a hairnet, Luke could hear Kirk tell a couple that he ran the place, which was the furthest thing from the truth.
Luke grabbed Kirk's hairnet and kicked him out, but that wasn't the last time Kirk tried taking over Luke's Diner. When Luke's was under commission due to some repairs, Kirk opened his own diner across the street in the quad and called it Kirk's.
"My Girlfriend's The Whore!"
This line was one of the best in season 5. In one of the many reenactments of The Battle of Stars Hollow, Taylor held auditions for a woman from Stars Hollow to play a scandalous woman of the night. Kirk supported Lulu and pushed her to get the gig.
In a funny turn of events, she did. When Kirk found out that his girlfriend had a role in the reenactment, he went around Stars Hollow screaming that his girlfriend was a whore, confusing everyone. In the end, Lulu got sick and couldn't perform so Kirk hysterically took her place.
"I Read Lips. My Girlfriend Taught Me. It's So We Can Have Quiet Time And Keep The Conversation Going At The Same Time."
In 'The Reigning Lorelai,' Lorelai wanted to know what Luke and his ex-Nicole were talking about. Kirk assured her that he knew exactly what they were saying because he could read lips.
Kirk can be outlandish but he can also be truthful, so Lorelai gave him a shot to say what Luke was saying. "Okay, [Nicole] just said, 'Hardwood sponge is the authority of the hostile biographer.' And then he responded, 'Just phone cords to original samovars.'" It was then that Lorelai realized Kirk had no idea how to read lips.
"This Is The Suit They Buried My Dad In."
Sookie was worried about the baptism of her children because Lorelai and Rory were both a part of the ceremony and the two were in a never-ending argument about Rory's future. Selfishly, Sookie hoped seeing each other at the baptism would bring them closer together, but the opposite occurred.
While Rory walked to the church, she compliment Kirk on his suit. After all, it wasn't every day Kirk wore a suit. Instead of accepting the compliment and carrying on, he told her the suit was his father's and it was the same one he was buried in... This meant Kirk dug up his father and took his suit for the occasion. It's awkward, it's weird, and the quote screams Kirk.