While fans took some time to realize it, the title Gilmore Girls actually refers not only to Lorelai and Rory, but also Emily. The matriarch of the Gilmore clan, at least once Trix dies, Emily has a dry, acidic, sharp, and direct sense of humor. A master of sarcasm, she's able to deliver scathing insults without so much as breaking a sweat or losing her perfectly bright, calculated smile (just ask Shira Huntzberger).
While not as pop-culture knowledgeable as her daughter and granddaughter, Emily is still able to keep up, and a lot of times even outsmart the younger Gilmores. Her perfect mix of passive-aggression and wit make her banter with others one of the key ingredients for the shows' success.
"Is It Easter Already?"
What better way to start the list than with one of the first lines Emily ever utters? Appearing in the show for the first time, she opens her door to find her estranged daughter, Lorelai, waiting. Surprised, she questions her, since holidays are the only time Lorelai ever visits.
This particular visit sets off the entire chain of events of the show, as it is the moment where Emily institutes Friday night dinners. It's also the perfect way to introduce her trademark and dark sense of humor, which the show would benefit from later on.
"Oh What, You're Going To A Racoon's Wedding?"
During the Season 1 episode, "Cinnamon's Wake", Lorelai and the entire town gather to help the Gilmore's neighbor, Babette, say goodbye to her beloved cat, Cinnamon. Earlier in the episode, Emily had informed her about the death of Claudia, a distant family member, but Lorelai refused to attend the funeral, saying she could not get away from the inn.
When Emily calls her daughter, Lorelai tells her about the cat's funeral. She reacts as only Emily could, and when Lorelai hangs up claiming she needs to sleep because she'll have a busy next day, Emily replies with this entry's zinger before ending the call.
"How McDonald's Of You"
Although Emily always acted politely and had great consideration towards Christopher, mainly out of respect for the Hayden family name and status, Season 5's episode "Come Home" reveals that she never thought much of him. She considers him weak but acknowledges how much he loves Lorelai, which is why she wants the two together.
When she goes to his home to warn him about how serious Luke and Lorelai are getting, she takes the opportunity to mock his "maid-nanny combo," comparing it to a food order from McDonald's. Honestly, Emily's wit knows no boundaries.
"Do You Need A Ride, Or Is Your Horse Parked Outside?"
Season 1, Episode 2, "The Lorelais First Day At Chilton" has a pretty self-explanatory title. It's Rory's first day at her fancy new school, but Lorelai accidentally oversleeps. With no clean clothes (they're all in the dry-cleaners), Lorelai puts on the first thing she finds, a truly terrible combo of extremely short shorts and pink shirt.
Lorelai doesn't know she needs to talk to the headmaster and is horrified when she sees her mother already in the office. Emily is naturally appalled at her daughter's clothes and the meeting ends with Emily saying the cruel remark on this entry, making Lorelai feel even worse.
"Sometimes I Wish She'd Give It Back"
During Thanksgiving dinner at her parents' in the Season 3 episode "A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving," Lorelai is her usual self, firing joke after joke. Both Richard and Emily are quite annoyed, but their friends, Natalie and Douglas Swope, find Lorelai surprisingly entertaining.
When Natalie compliments Lorelai, telling her "You have your mother's sense of humor," Emily claps back like only she could. The burn, delivered expertly by Emily, perfectly sums up her feelings towards Lorelai's personality, while also proving just how funny she is too.
"At Least She Had A Husband To Kill"
Emily never shied away from recriminating Lorelai for her lack of a husband. Actually, she rather enjoyed doing it and had a rather surprising ability to bring the subject up in almost any conversation.
Case in point, in the second episode of Season 3, while at Friday night dinner, Lorelai reads in the newspaper that an old acquaintance of theirs, Shauna Christy, shot her husband 35 times after finding him with the nanny. Emily is shocked, but she still finds the time to take a dig at Lorelai's single life. It must be said, Emily is consistent.
"No Dear, That Was A Joke"
"Cinnamon's Wake" features not one but TWO entries on this list. Before informing them of Claudia's passing, Emily also tells the girls that Richard's away on business in Germany. Lorelai then asks if her father's firm is insuring Nazis, a joke that Emily doesn't find amusing.
The topic then shifts to Claudia, before Emily, stone-faced, tells them of Rudolph Gottfried, a Nazi she and Richard knew and with whom they stayed one time in Munich. When a shocked Lorelai tells her that socializing with a Nazi is heinous, Emily reveals that she too was joking, making Rory laugh. The entire interaction is perfectly executed, and Kelly Bishop clearly enjoys every second of it.
"Well Then, Buy Me A Boa And Drive Me To Reno, Because I'm Open For Business"
In the opening episode of Season 5, Richard and Emily can no longer hide their problems. They have been living separately for a while, but after a disastrous night while at the opening of the Dragonfly, they return home determined to separate.
Emily says she will go to Europe and wake up every day at 10 and have two glasses of wine at lunch. When Richard tells her that "only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch," Emily replies with this excellent burn, leaving Richard stunned. The entire scene that follows, where Emily is forced to leave through the window after Richard accidentally locks the door from the outside, is, perhaps, Kelly Bishop's finest comedic moment in the entire show.
"You Can Use Your Mother's Old Golf Clubs. They're Upstairs, Gathering Dust Along With The Rest Of Her Potential"
This deliciously wicked comment is spoken by Emily in the hilariously titled Season 1 episode "Kill Me Now." During Friday night dinner, Rory reveals she must choose a sport to fulfill Chilton's athletic requirement. Emily suggests golf and says Richard can help her.
Everyone is unsure, but Emily persists. She even says Rory can use Lorelai's old golf clubs and takes the opportunity to utter an expertly constructed burn. The line is delivered with such ease, it lands perfectly, and the audience finds it both amusing and offensive.
"The Minute He Finds A New Place With Bottle Service, You'll Be Right Back At Tracy Anderson's"
A Year in the Life has both fans and detractors. Many were unhappy with the revival's choices, while others thought they made perfect sense. However, everyone can agree that Emily's arc was simply perfect. Recovering after Richard's death, she is forced to find a new path when she no longer finds pleasure in her old life.
This includes her DAR meetings. Once a big part of her day-to-day, she stops enjoying them and starts seeing them for how vapid and cruel they are. While interviewing Serena, a trophy wife, she loses it and calls out the hypocrisy of the organization, laying out some truths about both Serena and the other members of the DAR. This definitely is a shady burn.