Seinfeld ran for 180 episodes across nine seasons in the ‘90s and it was one of the most popular shows on the air, getting better ratings than even Friends. It was showered with Emmy Awards, boasts TV Guide’s favorite episode of television ever made (“The Contest”), got crowned “the number one reason the ‘90s ruled” by E!, and was named the second best-written TV series of all time by the Writers Guild of America.
Naturally, in the years since it went off the air, related merchandise has been popping up all over the place. So, here are 10 Things That Only Real Seinfeld Fans Would Own.
10 Seinfeld: The Complete Series
No Seinfeld fan’s collection is complete without the whole series on home media. Streaming services are okay as a temporary answer, but those licensing deals fall through all the time and your favorite show can disappear overnight.
If you have the DVD box set, then any time you have a hankering for “The Marine Biologist” or “The Puffy Shirt” or “The Chinese Restaurant” or any of the other classics, you’ll be able to stick the corresponding disc right in your DVD player and check it out. You might even want to give “The Finale” a second chance, and with this comprehensive box set, you can.
9 No Soup For You! Soup Spoon
“The Soup Nazi” is one of the most beloved and iconic Seinfeld episodes of all time, and what’s more, “No soup for you!” is one of the most beloved and iconic catchphrases from the show’s run. It’s uttered by Yev Kassem – who was based on the real-life soup vendor Al Yeganeh, who said the phrase to Jerry Seinfeld after the episode aired and he was furious – whenever one of his customers, like Elaine or George, irks him.
Now, you can eat your own soup with a spoon that has the catchphrase engraved into it, whether you’re eating tomato soup or vegetable soup or, like Newman, “Jambalaya!”
8 Vandelay Industries T-Shirt
Whenever George needed to use a fake name, he always jumped to “Art Vandelay.” He used the alias Art Vandelay, just like Jerry used Kel Varnsen and Kramer used H.E. Pennypacker (we saw Vandelay, Varnsen, and Pennypacker face off in the Season 9 episode “The Puerto Rican Day”), and when he was seeking an unemployment check, he pretended to have interviewed for a job at “Vandelay Industries,” an importer/exporter of latex products.
He even gave the unemployment office the number of Jerry’s apartment to scam them. Kramer ruined the scheme by answering the phone while George was in the bathroom. But now, you can own a T-shirt with the company’s logo on it.
7 Seinfeld Complete Series: Limited Festivus Celebration Edition w/ Party Pack
This DVD box set is like no other – it’s the Festivus edition! Now, you can rewatch the entire series as well as celebrating “a Festivus for the rest of us.” This set comes with everything you need to organize a Festivus party: 8 invitations and RSVPs, 8 cups, 8 napkins, 4 thumb wrestlers and a deck of playing cards (for the “Feats of Strength”), and even a little Festivus pole!
There’s over 100 hours of bonus features on the DVD box set, which is more footage than the actual series itself, which consists of 180 21-minute installments, so there’s plenty of new and exclusive material to chomp on.
6 Happy Festivus Board Game
Celebrate “a Festivus for the rest of us” with this Frank Costanza-inspired board game. Take part in the “Airing of Grievances” and the “Feats of Strength” as you enjoy Frank’s made-up alternative to Christmas. The game pieces are a bunch of festive, multi-colored Festivus poles, while the gameplay involves living out Seinfeld schemes like creating the Human Fund (“Money for people”) to give people fake charitable donations as Christmas presents (or Festivus presents).
At each corner of the board, there are “Feats of Strength,” at which point the corresponding card is played. It’s the best and most immersive way to celebrate Festivus (short of actually setting up a pole).
5 Funko Vinyl Idolz: Seinfeld – Newman Action Figure
Despite not being a member of the main cast, Newman is one of the most memorable and beloved characters from Seinfeld. Wayne Knight left a lasting impression during every one of his appearances on the show.
It might have seemed like Jerry said, “Hello, Newman,” in every single episode of the series – or at least every other episode, or every few episodes – but he only ever said the line 15 times in the whole 180-episode run of the series. Now, you can own an 8-inch-tall version of that sitcom icon with this Funko Vinyl Idolz action figure. He even has that cunning look in his eye, as well as his postal worker’s uniform.
4 Seinfeld Reference: The Complete Encyclopedia With Biographies, Character Profiles & Episode Summaries
This comprehensive reference guide has every little piece of information you’ve ever wanted to know about Seinfeld – all the details of every episode, every character, behind-the-scenes trivia, everything you could possibly need.
The only book that would make a better addition to a Seinfeld fan’s coffee table is Kramer’s coffee table book about coffee tables, which comes with legs attached so that if you don’t have a coffee table, it turns into a coffee table. But that doesn’t exist in the real world and this one does. The book not only has complete biographies of the show’s characters, but also the actors playing them.
3 George Costanza (The Timeless Art of Seduction) – Art Print Poster
Remember the episode of Seinfeld in which George thinks the one-hour photo girl is looking at his pictures, so he decides to slip in some glamour shots? Kramer convinces him to try mastering “the timeless art of seduction” and even arranges a photo shoot for George to take some sexy photos on a velvet couch in his underwear.
He turns out to have been mistaken and tries to just forget about the whole thing, but this photo ends up being printed and blown up as evidence in Jerry’s mail fraud case. Well, now, you can own that photo to complete your Seinfeld collection.
2 Jackie Chiles Mug
Jackie Chiles was Kramer’s lawyer a few times on Seinfeld, until Kramer lost them enough cases that Jackie took out a restraining order against him. Jackie did return to represent the whole group in “The Finale,” although he lost that case and it led to one of the most controversial endings in TV history.
Jackie was based on O.J. Simpson’s lawyer Johnnie Cochran and he became very popular among the show’s fan base. There was even talk of a Jackie Chiles spin-off after Seinfeld ended, but it never materialized. In lieu of a spin-off, show your love for the character with this Jackie Chiles coffee mug.
1 Cosmo Kramer’s ASSMAN Metal Stamped Vanity Prop License Plate
Everyone remembers the classic moment in “The Fusilli Jerry” where Kramer is given the vanity plates of a proctologist that say, “ASSMAN,” on them. The clerk says, “Cosmo Kramer, you are the Assman.” He says, “No, I’m not the Assman!” And then she counters, “Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned, you are.”
Now, you can own Kramer’s “ASSMAN” plates for you to display in your house or, if you happen to live in New York, put them on your own car. Own a piece of Seinfeld history, complete with accurate dimensions, color scheme, and embossed aluminum.
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