Season 8 of Game of Thrones wasn’t particularly kind to the character arcs of many of its central and supporting cast. Two of the figures that suffered the most were Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth. They had formed an unlikely bond throughout the past several seasons, protecting each other in dire situations, with their growing respect for one another turning into a sort of romance.
But the romance was over almost as soon as it ended, and Jaime left Brienne at Winterfell so that he could be reunited with his conniving sister, Cersei in King’s Landing. What’s a Ser to do? In true Brienne fashion, she took to the Book of Brothers and laid out Jaime’s accomplishments exactly as she saw them, in what would become her “Burn Book” (Mean Girls). These ten memes capture her word for word notation, preserved for all of Westeros.
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
The secret of Jaime and Cersei’s incestuous relationship was closely guarded for most of the series, except to a few select people that had their suspicions. They were so desperate to keep people from finding out that they killed anyone that might know (except certain individuals, like Bran, didn’t stay dead).
By the time Brienne gets to filling in Jaime’s illustrious achievements, she’s so bitter about the anguish he put her through that she decides why not make the most prominent page in the Book of Brothers all about how he liked to make out with his sister. And to add insult to injury, she cut out a little picture of him, for record keeping purposes.
TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL, BRIENNE
Brienne was a knight of many fine attributes, including swordsmanship, loyalty, and candor. She never hesitated to speak up and make her voice heard when she had something on her mind, like when she vouched for Jaime’s weasley butt to Sansa, Lady of Winterfell when he came to pledge his sword to the armies of the Living.
And how did he repay her? A quick roll in the bedchamber and then he was off to King’s Landing and Cersei’s arms. This left Brienne no choice but to write down the truth of what happened, word for word, lest anyone reading the Book of Brothers wonder why Brienne of Tarth cast Jaime Lannister aside like a dog.
TURNS OUT BRIENNE KILLED HIM AFTER ALL
At the end of Season 8, Episode 5, Jaime and Cersei meet their deaths by cave in, with a thousand pounds of brick and mortar falling onto their heads. Jaime got a quick death, much too good for a Kingslayer who bragged about his prowess with a blade and deserved to be run through with a sword.
Enter Brienne, who according to the newly inscribed Book of Brothers, easily dispatched him in a fair fight. She, who had broken The Hound, one of the most fearsome warriors in all Westeros. Apparently she knew her way around dogs, and one was very much like the next.
GAME OF SEX IN THE CITY
In a clear homage to Sex in the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, a fictional romance and sex advice columnist in New York, Brienne elected to ponder life’s little intricacies in the same way Carrie would ruminate on its conundrums.
If Jaime was never going to forget his sister, despite all the vile and malevolent things she did, how could he be with Brienne? And perhaps she pondered further - could she have ever been happy with him, given that he preferred the company of a conniving lunatic to her? And finally, she decided to be the first romance blogger in Westeros and become very famous the end.
BRIENNE WAS SUPER HOT THE END
There were only two reasons that Jaime Lannister would have gone to King’s Landing at the end of series finale - to die with Cersei, or to kill her. Unfortunately, he chose the former, even though the latter presented a much more satisfying end to his character arc. Not to mention, a chance at happiness with Brienne in Winterfell!
To comfort herself, Brienne decided that she would recount Jaime’s actions according to the only way they made sense - that Jaime went to King’s Landing to tell Cersei he was really in love with Brienne and that she was super hot the end. And that was the last thing Cersei ever heard before death took her.
BEAT UP A WIZARD, HAD 40 BOYFRIENDS
After Jaime walked out on Brienne, still clutching her robe, so that he could be with Cersei, she had to regroup. Though she probably wished she could track him down and skewer him, she had responsibilities at Winterfell. So she decided that after the Battle for King’s Landing was over, she’d have her revenge.
Whether she wrote about herself at the end of Jaime’s page of accomplishments, or just felt like chronicling her own to set the record straight, we have no doubt Brienne of Tarth beat up a wizard, had 40 boyfriends, and made all of Westeros collectively just say “damn”.
WHEN YOU'RE SO GOOD IN BED
So. Right after the Battle of Winterfell, when everyone was half-assedly celebrating, things got really interesting at the Brienne/Jaime/Tyrion table. As they were taking turns swilling wine and playing “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth or Dare”, they suddenly got on the subject of Brienne’s virginity.
This made her storm off in a huff, but according to the Book of Brothers, that was just a ruse to get Jaime to follow her to her bedchamber. She was the best shag he’d ever had, so good in fact that he was driven to his sister’s arms by how great it was. Yep. That’s what happened.
A TWO KNIGHT STAND
Anyone that has known how long Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister have been dancing around their feelings for each other freaked out when they finally got together. They also freaked out when Jaime knighted her, which was something that had always been only for men.
Therefore, it was odd to fans of them both when Brienne didn’t include that Jaime knighted her as she was recounting his accomplishments in the Book of Brothers. With a pun and an open mind, it proved to be an easy fix. Thus, the “two knight stand” was born. All hail Brienne, Slayer of All The Things.
WHAT DID YOU CALL HIM?!
Sometimes, the fewer words said about something, the better. Jaime Lannister already had a whole page ad out of the New York Times for his acts of valor in Westeros. Most of it failed to mentioned anything about him sleeping with his sister, or betraying his King, or murdering thousands of innocent lives.
Thank the Old Gods that Brienne of Tarth was there to set the record straight. He used her for her fabulous body and a few nights of passion and then abandoned her after she begged him to stay, all so that he could be with his cringey sister. Her brief notation says it all about Jaime’s character (or lack thereof).
CERSEI SUCKS
Instead of writing all about Jaime’s accomplishments and heroism at the end of his life, Brienne turned the Book of Brothers into the “Burn Book” from Mean Girls, and elected to write all about Cersei and what a horrible person she is.
While some fans would say it was inevitable that Jaime would fly to Cersei’s side since she was the love of his life, can we all not agree Brienne had ever right to be upset? Cersei was cruel, and vindictive, and had killed thousands of innocent people in her life. And Jaime still chose to be with her and die over staying alive with Brienne in Winterfell.