Everyone hates Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones and he clearly deserved it, but not a lot of fans have understood Joffrey. One reason is that under all that petulant sadism and brattiness, Joffrey’s character needed a little more depth in its design because everyone knows what makes him angry but no one knows what makes him happy.
Every baddie on GoT have had their priorities, but what did Joffrey really want? Why was he so astoundingly disgruntled even after he was named king? Was he a sadist or just very bored? His speeches hold the key to his character’s mystery, so here’s a ranking of some of his best and worst speeches.
Best: Everyone Is Mine To Torment
Joffrey was the originator of many cruel ways to torture a family member. In the third season, he tells the small council that he wishes to serve Sansa her brother Robb Stark’s head at her wedding feast. When Tyrion reminds him that she’s not his betrothed anymore and isn't his to torment, Joffrey utters his famous line, “Everyone is mine to torment.”
This line, which is quite poetic, is the most effective summation of his character because it really does encapsulate what Joffrey was all about and how much he loves making people uncomfortable.
Worst: Bring Me His Head
Joffrey’s Red Queen moment is the most discussed because it is in that speech that he orders the death of a major fan favorite, Ned Stark. It was obvious he was doing this to torment Sansa because he had led her to believe he’ll show Ned mercy. But Joffrey, who is known for his malicious speeches and cruel threats made a pretty flat and tedious speech when he ordered Ned’s execution.
"My mother wishes me to let Lord Eddard join The Night's Watch. Stripped of all titles and powers, he would serve the realm in permanent exile. And My Lady Sansa has begged mercy for her father. But they have the soft hearts of women So long as I am your king, treason shall never go unpunished. Ser Ilyn, bring me his head!” he exclaimed.
Best: It’s Not A Claim, The Throne Is Mine
This exchange between Joffrey and his mother Cersei was one of the most riveting moments on the show because Joffrey confronted his mother about the biggest and the rather unsavory secret that the Lannisters had kept from him. He had obviously heard the rumor about Cersei and Jaime.
Although he always knew himself to be the true heir of Robert Baratheon, if the truth about him being Jaime and Cersei’s child came out, he would lose his title. When Cersei tells Joffrey that no one would dispute his claim to the throne, he pointedly observes that technically it’s not a claim and, by the law of succession, he deserves the throne for being Robert’s oldest legitimate heir.
Worst: After I Kill Your Armies and Kill Your Traitor Brother I’m Going To Give You His Head
This was one of Joffrey’s failed attempts to intimidate Sansa. He says this to Sansa when he takes her to look at her father’s decapitated head. But, by this point, Sansa had been through a lot and had started to toughen up and Joffrey only truly scared her when he threatened to harm any of her family members.
Joffrey orders Sansa to look at his father’s severed head that had been mounted on a stick, hoping to get a big reaction out of her. But Sansa keeps her cool and asks Joffrey how long should she look at it. It was only then that he tries to scare her with unrealistic threats. “After I raise my armies and kill your traitor brother, I'll give you his head as well,” he tells her.
Best: Why Should Every Lord Command His Own Men? It’s Primitive
Joffrey’s rule marked a steady departure from the reign of the Baratheons or even from the command of Lord Tywin because it was brutalist and feudal. In season one, Joffrey and Cersei discuss what could be done with the North since they have come to love their freedom and essentially considered Ned Stark to be King in the North.
Joffrey questions the decentralized governance which the Baratheons and Starks had set up to run things smoothly; this was a set up that had maintained peace between the kingdoms, however Joffrey questions the need for a local leader in the North, and in one of his most hauntingly cruel speeches, established himself as a dictatorial emperor because he demanded unconditional fealty from his men.
Worst: I Am The King
This was another one of Joffrey’s weak attempts at establishing his dominance in a room full of men who were undoubtedly more experienced in statesmanship than he was. During a small council meeting, Joffrey argues with nearly everyone simply because no one would agree with him and then expresses his disgruntlement by exclaiming, “I am the king.”
His grandfather Tywin obviously had the best retort when he said, “Any man who must say I am the king is no true king,” Tywin tells him. But it also brings to attention that Joffrey wasn’t exactly taken seriously as a ruler at all since he never fought his own battles or successfully commanded his men, he was merely a blip in the Baratheon stronghold.
Best: A Royal Wedding Is History
Joffrey definitely took himself and his title too seriously, even before he could prove his prowess as a ruler. During his wedding to Margaery, he literally stops the merriment midway by reminding everyone how serious a royal wedding is and ends up sounding quite funny.
His words were actually a proclamation for the viewers because, in GoT-verse, most royal weddings have ended with a catastrophe, including of course his own which ended with his death.
Worst: Kneel Before Your King
This was another instance when fans couldn’t understand why he was just so ineffective in carrying out a threat or even in intimidating someone. Unlike his mother or grandfather, the source of Joffrey’s menace seems to be his title as the ruler of King’s Landing's he simply fails to be taken seriously even when no one else seems to be talking.
During his wedding, he makes Tyrion be his cupbearer and repeatedly keeps on kicking the cup so that Tyrion has to kneel in from of him. But what’s funny is that instead of a scary or tense moment, it’s rather awkward because everyone seems to be wary and Margaery even interrupted him to announce that the pie had arrived.
Best: They say Stannis never smiles. I'll give him a red smile, from ear to ear
It was obviously meant to be an intimidating threat and would have been coming from anyone else. But Joffrey was scared of battle himself, although he was in favor of invasions being carried out under his name. But unlike Jon Snow or Robb, he never faced a battle himself.
So when he says that he will go out to greet Stannis and give him a ‘red smile’, it makes for a weak moment, because he says it to Tyrion and Varys who obviously would have mocked him to his face if he wasn’t king and do exactly that once he leaves. “Imagine Stannis’ terror,” Tyrion quips as soon as Joffrey is gone.
Worst: Your Fingers Or Your Tongue
As kingly speeches go, this was probably Joffrey’s worst because there was no build-up to it and it came off as rather forced. Offended by troubadour Marillion’s song, Joffrey asks him whether he favors his finger or his tongue.
When Marillion tells him that every man needs hands, he orders Ilyn to cut off his tongue. It was all rather unceremonious, it may have been the makers’ attempt to show exactly how cruel Joffrey was but his punishing speech and threat needed more complexity and perhaps more drama.