Despite a lack of major deaths or any substantial action, the second episode of season 8 of Game of Thrones had a few noteworthy moments. Arya lost her virginity, Brienne became a knight, and Jon threw a wrench into Daenerys' claim to the Iron Throne. The episode was a set up for things to come, giving fans one last moment with their favorite characters before they're slaughtered in episode 3.
But the episode was not without its comic relief, and you can thank Tormund Giantsbane for that. The read-headed wilding with a mad crush on 'the big woman', Tormund has become a fan favorite with his witty one-liners and overall happy-go-lucky attitude. It was in this episode where Tormund delivered his funniest moment to date, claiming that after he killed a giant, the giant's wife mistook the 10-year-old Tormund for a baby and suckled him for months. Because Tormund has become a reliable source of meme material over the years, the internet took this weird story and turned it into pure gold. Here are ten of the funniest memes about giant's milk the web has to offer.
Got Milk?
Tormund's confession that he suckled from the breast of a giant was followed by a long, sloppy guzzle of something out of a horn goblet. By the time he was done, his beard was dripping with the stuff, including a milk mustache similar to this meme.
The Ad Council should really incorporate Tormund into their "Got Milk" ad campaign. After all, if anyone is able to attest to the powers of milk, it would be Tormund. If he manages to survive the next battle, we only have milk to thank.
Regular Milk? Please....
Normal milk just isn't going to cut it for Tormund. After all, growing up in one of the most desolate and unforgiving places in all of Westeros demands a hearty diet. Giant's milk can help to tough out the arctic nights and the constant fight for survival.
Of course, it's unlikely that other Free Folk would agree with this assertion. After all, giants need to feed their young too. But maybe, if they could find a way to distribute the milk evenly, then they'd all be as strong as Tormund, and the Night King wouldn't stand a chance.
Lady Mormont Is Disappointed
In terms of tough tough-as-nails kids who can kick anyone's ass, Lyanna Mormont sits at the top. Now that Arya is all grown up, Lyanna is the new pint-sized hero who deserves the utmost respect. A fan favorite since season 6, Lyanna has proven herself to be a sharp tactician and an outspoken advocate for the people of the north.
But don't mess with her, because while she's shorter than many of the swords used on the show, she'll cut anyone down to size in an instant. The people under her leadership are devoutly loyal, and will do anything she commands. So if Tormund failed to share any of his milk with the Lady of Bear Island, he has a lot of explaining to do.
Scratch That, All Is Forgiven
This would be one way to get the army at Winterfell ready for the battle... Giants probably produce a ton of milk, so there would be more than enough for all of the troops, and samples for those who'd like to try it before they go all in. After all, giant's milk isn't for everyone, and results may vary.
If everyone had a pint of giant's milk before battle, then victory wouldn't be so uncertain. No one would be singing gloomy songs around the fire. Grey Worm and Missandei would have already figured out their retirement plan. As for Arya and Gendry, we'll leave that up to your imagination.
The Cow Of The North
Last year, Knickers, a cow from Australia who towered over her peers became a viral sensation. Naturally, it's amusing to think that such a large cow would produce a certain kind of milk, one that possesses special attributes that could benefit those who drank it.
Besides, Tormund never said explicitly that the giant who nursed him wasn't a cow. For all we know, Knickers could've come from Westeros before she arrived in our world. Perhaps we should start drinking her milk to see what would happen.
Does It Come Pasteurized?
If Tormund sold giant's milk, this is probably what it would look like. Now a mighty spokesperson, Tormund can talk about the benefits of drinking two or more glasses of giant's milk a day. That way, you too can knight your lovely lady (or gentleman) ten times or more.
Side effects may include rapid hair growth, increased muscle mass, and a desire to live in a tent on the other side of the wall. Call your doctor right away if you notice this or other symptoms, as it could be the sign of a serious illness that may cause southerners to look at you funny.
Jules Winfield Approves
Giant's milk should be part of every nutritious breakfast, so why not put it in coffee? That way, coffee drinkers can have the strength-giving powers of giant's milk and the energy of caffeine. Take on the day's challenges with the fuel and power to finish every important task, and run circles around friends and co-workers.
In all seriousness, though, is there coffee in Game of Thrones? We know there's tea, milk, and wine, but so far, there's been no mention of anyone starting the day off with a morning cup of joe. Maybe GRRM will address this on his Live Journal some day.
Tormund And Bran Have That In Common
One of the most cringeworthy moments in the series was the revelation that 10 year old Robin Arryn nursed from his mother's breast. This little brat is one of the show's most obnoxious characters, even if his contributions to the show have been marginal at best.
Still, it's ironic that one of the most loved characters in Game of Thrones shares such a specific trait with one of the most reviled. One can just imagine a handshake like this in person, with Tormund recommending giant's milk to the creepy prince.
What's A 'Normal' Conversation?
If someone sits down and chats with Tormund Giantsbane, there's no doubt that things are bound to take a turn for the surreal. After all, Tormund came of age in an area far removed from the rest of society, so his humor, attitude, and favorite topics can come across as inappropriate. Especially when he's trying to impress "the big woman".
The only real reason why Tormund told his story in the first place was so that he could impress Brianne, the fierce warrior and newly-minted knight that has been the apple of Tormund's eye since season 7. While it's unlikely that they'll ever know true love, given how they'll probably both die in the next episode, at least it gave us a good story to tell.
We Beg To Differ
Booze is a good conversation starter, but it isn't the only drink that has sparked a good tale. As we've seen in movies like A Clockwork Orange and The Professional, some of the most intriguing characters prefer the ol' cow juice to alcohol. If anything, Tormund drove this sentiment home.
You'd think that Tormund would've had hard liquor in that horn of his. But like any complex character, Tormund is more than meets the eye. He's rough and tumble, but he also has a goofy, if not weird, sense of humor to counteract his hard exterior. He's one of Game Of Thrones' most underappreciated characters, and he will be greatly missed should he die.