One of the key themes raised throughout the entire run of Game of Thrones is power: who has it, how they keep it, and what they want to do with it. The eunuch Varys doesn’t seek power for its own sake but instead wants to use it for the betterment of the Seven Kingdoms.
However, while he is a very subtle politician and someone who knows how the levers of power work, he’s also a character who is more than capable of delivering a withering remark when the need arises, so it’s worth revisiting some of his best and most snarky comments.
When He Gave Tyrion A Reminder About Their Status
“You Overestimate Our Influence. Jon And Daenerys Don't Want To Listen To Lonely Old Men.”
There are many things that Varys is guilty of, but he can never be accused of not being aware of his own shortcomings (which is something many GOT fans love about Varys). With this little barb, he reminds Tyrion that Dany may be many things, but she may not in fact be willing to listen to old men like himself. Given the lengths to which Varys has gone to ensure that her path to the throne is eased, it’s a remarkable statement and a sign of his ability to not take himself too seriously.
When He Shared His Thoughts About Class And Power
“Give Us Common Folk One Taste Of Power, We're Like The Lion Who Tasted Man. Nothing Is Ever So Sweet Again.”
However, Varys is capable of not just directing his razor wit against himself but also against the entire social class from which he emerged. This is, to be sure, a very shady burn against all of the commoners of the Seven Kingdoms, since it implies that they ultimately cannot be trusted with power - because once they manage to attain a little bit of it they won’t rest until they gain more, no matter the ultimate consequences.
When He Made An Astute Point About Politics
“If You Shaved Your Beard With A Straight Razor, You'd Say The Razor Worked. That Doesn't Mean It Won't Cut Your Throat.”
Varys possesses a blunt honesty that is somewhat at odds with the subtlety of his mind and his ability to manipulate politics so that he gains the result that he wants (he is, after all, the best Master of Whisperers). In this case, his burn makes a very good point about the type of tools that are available to those who are in power. In essence, he’s suggesting that even though a dangerous tool might get the job done, that doesn’t mean that it can’t be turned to other uses in the wrong hands.
When He Delivered A Burn To Tyrion
“You Walk As Though The Paving Stones Were Your Personal Property. I Used To Steal From People Like You When I Was A Boy.”
As the series goes on, Varys reveals more and more about himself, including the remarkable revelation that he used to be a pickpocket. Unsurprisingly, this gives him a rather jaundiced view of the world, as he makes clear with this burn (which is directed at Tyrion). This remark, and Tyrion’s response to it, does a great deal toward explaining why their friendship was one of the best in the entire series. What’s more, it’s a good reminder to Tyrion that he can never escape his nobility.
When He Expressed Disgust For Commoners
“And We Find Them... Repulsive, Which Is Why We Surround Ourselves With Large Comfortable Boxes To Keep Them Away.”
This burn, like so many of Varys’, is delivered while he’s talking to Tyrion. And, like so many of the others, it makes an important point about politics, leadership, and human nature. In essence, however, Varys is also pointing out that he, and Tyrion, are disgusted by the common people, which is why they try so hard to avoid them by working within the boxes of power.
As Varys points out, though, that merely creates another prison, something that people like them cannot abide.
When He Reminds Tyrion Of His Flaws
“I Never Said You Were Perfect.”
Part of what makes the surprisingly wholesome relationship between Tyrion and Varys so much fun to watch is the fact that they both fundamentally understand one another. While they admire one another’s strengths, they’re also clear-eyed about their weaknesses. As Varys makes very clear with this burn, he understands that Tyrion is far from perfect - he did kill his father with a crossbow - but, despite that, he respects and admires him for the other traits that make him different, i.e. his compassion and his commitment to the common good.
When He Delivers A Different Take On Shae
“And You... You Are A Complication.”
Varys is, in many ways, a master of the understatement, as he makes clear in this comment to Shae. While others might see her as beautiful or a sex object, he undrestands that she is actually an impediment, in that she stands in Tyrion’s way as he tries to become a better person and a stronger leader for Westeros. Only Varys, however, could deliver this line in such a devastating way, reducing his opponent to nothing more than an obstacle that needs to be dispensed with.
When He Shared His Thoughts On Rival Littlefinger
“Actually, I Rather Enjoy Him. But He Would See This Country Burn If He Could Be King Of The Ashes.”
The rivalry between Littlefinger and Varys is one of the most enduring in the series. In large part, this stems from the fact that they have diametrically opposed views of politics and their role in them. For Varys, as this remark makes clear, he does actually like the other man, but he sees him as a profound danger to the kingdom, someone who would gladly see it destroyed so long as he was able to gain a bit of power from the process.
When He Highlighted The Pointlessness Of Power
“Power Resides Where Men Believe It Resides. It's A Trick, A Shadow On The Wall.”
Varys is one of the greatest politicians to have appeared on television, as this burn makes clear. Because of his upbringing and the role that he plays in the court at King’s Landing, he has a unique understanding of how politics and power work. He tears away the veil of magical thinking that so often accrues around ideas such as power, and in doing so he reveals that, ultimately, there’s nothing real to it at all, that it’s just an illusion in which people choose to believe.
When He Turns The Tables On His Rival
“Do You Spend A Lot Of Time Wondering What's Between My Legs?”
Varys’ status as a eunuch is, at the beginning of the series, one of his most recognizable traits. In fact, it often gives his enemies, such as Littlefinger, the kind of ammunition they need to belittle and insult him.
However, with this burn the Spider ably turns the tables on his foe, suggesting that it is in fact Littlefinger who is showing a remarkable lack of imagination and creativity in being so obsessed with the other man’s genitalia.
When He Gives Littlefinger A Backhanded Compliment
“A Man With Great Ambition And No Morals... I Wouldn't Bet Against You.”
One of the most entertaining aspects of Varys’ character and his role in the series is watching him lock heads with Littlefinger. Though they seem to be evenly matched, it has to be said that Varys may have something of an edge when it comes to delivering a backhanded compliment. In this case, he manages to show Littlefinger that he appreciates his vaunting desires, even as he also condemns him for having no moral compass to guide him in his actions.