Daenerys Targaryen started as the underdog that the viewers rooted for in HBO's Game of Thrones. She started as a sister who was bullied and used as trade for her brother. In a distant land, her life is constantly threatened since she represents a legacy that can try to reclaim the throne. We see her gather strength despite her circumstances, bending those circumstances to her benefit.
After being wed to a foreign warlord as payment, she learns the language and culture. On top of this, she develops a relationship of love and mutual respect. After her lover and unborn child are killed, she emerges with ever more strength and resolve (as well as three baby dragons). While she had compassion for others, part of her personality showed faults that could develop into real problems. In the end, although we saw it going there, the speed in which she became a villain was too dizzying. Still, there were mistakes that lead her to this less-than-golden path, and today we'll examine ten of the most prominent among them.
She Didn't Take the Mad King/Family Health Issues Too Seriously
Daenerys has been warned that her family has its own share of inherited health issues, specifically mental health. Her father was known as the Mad King because of how much pain, suffering, and havoc that he caused. In the end, he cared more for absolute power than justice. When he was killed by Jaime, it was because the Mad King was teetering on the verge of committing a major atrocity for that very reason, and it seemed like there was no other option.
Daenerys was told that her family had greatness and great madness. In the beginning, it seemed that she favored the greatness side, but the threat of madness was always there. Sometimes, she took it seriously. However, the closer she got to the power that she craved, the less seriously she took it.
She Didn't Always Learn and Respect Others' Cultures and Customs
In this case, Daenerys did this in the first seasons, learning the language and customs of the Dothraki. However, the further she traveled and the closer that she got to her goal, she started to lose this lesson. Instead, she expected blind obedience or to be welcomed by those she was trying to conquer. We can see this when she goes to the North and seems dismayed by the respect Sansa receives in comparison to her brusque reception. She's unaware of the tight bonds and family pride of the North. When she goes South, she doesn't try to learn their culture either.
It's unfortunate that she forgot her earlier lesson, as not learning the culture of these other regions didn't endear her to them in the least.
She Fell in Love with Her Nephew
Daenerys falls for Jon Snow, and he falls for her. At first, the two don't realize that they are related. Jon is Daenerys's nephew. When Jon finds out, he is shocked and repulsed. He tries to pull back, recognizing the relationship as unacceptable due to their family connections. Daenerys has little to no hesitation about continuing with Jon, refusing to acknowledge that while the Targaryens wouldn't have seen an issue, the greater majority of Westeros would.
Her refusal to rethink her relationship with him was a direct contributor to her downfall and subsequent death.
She Favored One of Her Dragons/Children
It's no doubt that Daenerys loves her dragons, seeing them as her children. However, she doesn't really know how to discipline them. When all of the dragons become hard to handle, she tries to ignore it at first. Then she learns that one of her dragons, Drogon, killed a child. She isn't able to ignore this, and it ends up that Drogon escapes and the other two dragons are punished even though they didn't commit the crime.
Throughout the series, Daenerys seems to have a stronger bond with Drogon, and he becomes her favorite. So, she doesn't love her children equally. Perhaps if she did she would've exercised more thorough control over them earlier on, potentially changing the course of her entire campaign.
She Insisted on Being Recognized as Superior
Daenerys wants to be respected, so once she is in the South, she makes sure that she's introduced and accepted with all of her titles. It is a bit of an awkward way to meet people, and it catches the people who she is trying to impress off-guard. On one hand, as a strong woman in a more patriarchal society, it may be that she needs this to demand respect.
However, with both those in the South and the North, it comes across as both strange and insecure. They need to know who she is by her actions rather than her words, and her assumption of superiority often soured potential negotiations for the worse.
She Often Reacted in Anger
Daenerys's anger is as hot and spontaneous as dragon fire. Early on, she had moments that her anger benefited her case. However, anger isn't always the answer. She overly relies on it.
She makes really bad decisions when she reacts in anger. If she had a moment to step back (and maybe consult others), she could react with better vision and clarity.
She Can Be Rigid and Doesn't Show Mercy
The moment where we truly saw the finality of Daenerys' change was when she killed Dickon Tarly. Both Dickon and his father refused to bend the knee, choosing to die instead. However, Tyrion tried to stop Daenerys from killing Dickon. The people she was trying to lead needed to see that she could be merciful. On top of that, Dickon was younger and could change his mind, and he was well-liked. By killing Dickon in front of a crowd, she wasn't going to inspire loyalty and love, just fear.
Added to this, the people of The South grew up with tales of her father's madness. Her inability to compromise during moments like this confirmed for them that she may be like her father, a leader to dispose of rather than one to love.
She Didn't Adjust Her Tactics to the Situation
One of the biggest mistakes that Daenerys made is that she expected the same strategy to work in most situations. For her, a big strategy was using the dragon's fire to get people to take her seriously and to get them to submit to her. Early on, she did show strength and create big change through her dedication, will, and dragons. However, she has a hard accepting that not every situation can be handled the same way.
This is why she has Tyrion (in the HBO series) to counsel her, but of course, she doesn't always listen to his guidance.
She Didn't Focus on Building Infrastructure
This is one area in which Sansa is a stronger leader than Daenerys. Infrastructure isn't the sexy part of leading. Talking about grains and provisions isn't as interesting as having dragons, but it's necessary to have stability. In order to lead, your people must have the provisions necessary in order to survive and thrive. This is also how you create a grateful public.
But Daenerys likes the grandiose nature of the initial gesture, being the liberating heroine and basking in the resulting praise. However, whether free or enslaved, people still need to live and eat. Daenerys has a hard time understanding and building the infrastructure needed to support a kingdom, as she demonstrated in Meereen.
She Didn't Accept That There Are Shades of Gray
One of the biggest problems that Daenerys has is that she sees the world in absolutes. You are with her, or you are against her. You are the enemy or a friend. If you were a friend and become an enemy, you have to prove yourself to her (often by something drastic like sacrificing your life for her).
Daenerys had to be determined with a singular vision in order to get to the throne, but she needed to accept that there are shades of gray in order to sit upon it and rule successfully.