It’s a common misconception that Edgar Wright’s Hot Fuzz is a parody of the buddy cop genre. The movie is actually more of a tribute or homage to the genre. It follows all the traditions, as a straight-laced big-city cop moves to a small town and pairs up with a buffoonish local officer to shake things up and take on the unseen criminal underworld.
It’s just that it happens to be sleepy English village and it happens to have a lot of funny lines and sight gags. Remove all of that and it’s an earnest buddy cop movie – and one of the best of all time. So, here are the 10 Funniest Quotes From Hot Fuzz.
10 “What’s the matter, Danny? Never taken a shortcut before?”
Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Edgar Wright’s Three Flavors Cornetto Trilogy movies are connected by a recurring cast of actors, a movie-referencing comic tone, and scenes in which characters try and fail to jump over a fence. In Shaun of the Dead, the title character smugly says, “What’s the matter, David? Never taken a shortcut before?” and then hops a fence that falls over while he’s still mid-air.
In Hot Fuzz, this is called back to when Nicholas and Danny are in pursuit of a thief. Nicholas says, “What’s the matter, Danny? Never taken a shortcut before?” and clears every fence before doing a somersault over the last one. Then Danny tries it and smashes through the first one.
9 “It’s all right, Andy! It’s just bolognese!”
Every buddy cop movie has the rival pair of cops who come in to make fun of the cops we’re following in the plot. They’re usually irritatingly one-note, but in more recent movies, this trope has been parodied hilariously. The roles are filled by Damon Wayans, Jr. and Rob Riggle in The Other Guys, while Paddy Considine and Rafe Spall play two mustachioed cops who give Nicholas and Danny a hard time in Hot Fuzz.
One of them is spattered with pasta sauce during the supermarket shootout, making it look like he’d been shot in the face, spurring the other to fly into a vengeful rage. But then he tells him, “It’s all right, Andy! It’s just bolognese!”
8 “Nothin’ like a bit of girl-on-girl!”
A couple of months ago, the great Olivia Colman finally got the recognition she deserves and became an international star when she received an Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance as Queen Anne in The Favourite. However, long before that, she was regularly giving hilarious performances in British comedies.
These included Hot Fuzz, in which she played Doris Thatcher, a female constable known for her crude double entendres. The best example of this is in the climactic action sequence, after Doris knocks out a supermarket employee with a ‘Wet Floor’ sign, when she says, “Nothin’ like a bit of girl-on-girl!”
7 “Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone, ‘Aaargh!’?”
Nicholas Angel is a real-life version of the kind of action movie hero that Danny has idolized since his childhood. He’s been stabbed and shot at and he has an impressive arrest record and he was even referred to as “the Sheriff of London.” So, when they’re partnered up, he has the chance to ask him all kinds of questions.
He starts by asking him which action movies he’s seen, but he soon realizes he can ask him if he’s actually lived through some of his favorite action movie tropes, like firing a gun up in the air and going, “Aaargh!”
6 “When’s your birthday?” “22nd of February.” “What year?” “Every year.” “Get out.”
This is one of a few back-and-forths that Nicholas has with the underage drinkers in the pub near the beginning of the movie. The owners are furious with him, because he’s only drinking cranberry juice and he just kicked out all of their other customers, but the way Nicholas sees it, the law is very black-and-white.
Most of the kids that he asks about their age have a smart-alecky response, but the snappy nature of this exchange makes it the funniest. Edgar Wright is acutely attuned to the rhythm of comedy in film, and his quick cuts in this scene exemplify that perfectly.
5 “Nobody tells me nothin’!”
It was a nice touch when Bill Bailey’s character turned out to be twins. He’d just been sitting at the front desk throughout the whole movie, reading a book and repeating the line, “Nobody tells me nothin’!” and then we saw two of him in the same shot and realized it had actually been two characters the entire time.
Bailey’s collaborations with Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg go back to before the Three Flavors Cornetto Trilogy, and even before Spaced, when Wright directed Pegg and Bailey in a short-lived sketch show for BBC Two with the title Is It Bill Bailey?.
4 “You wanna be a big cop in a small town? F*** off up the model village!”
Edgar Wright’s movies – particularly these Three Flavors Cornetto movies – are always filled with foreshadowing. A seemingly off-key line will turn out to have hinted at a future event in the story. In an early scene in Shaun of the Dead, Ed lays out the entire plot in the form of unfounded plans for the next day. Every pub name in The World’s End hints at what happens there.
This line about the model village works both as a good joke, because “big cop in a small town” is one of the most common premises in action cinema, but it also sets up the movie’s climax, which takes place at the model village.
3 “You’re a doctor. Deal with it.” “Yeah, motherf*****.”
One of Danny’s dreams throughout Hot Fuzz is to utter a cool one-liner in the style of a Chuck Norris character or an Arnold Schwarzenegger character. But it’s Nicholas, who has never had any interest in any of that stuff, who gets the coolest ones in the movie. He distracts Michael with a teddy bear, then smashes a plant pot over his head and says, “Play time’s over!”
Later, he knocks the same guy unconscious in the freezer. Danny suggests, “Cool off!” as a one-liner, but it’s too late. When they shoot the town doctor in the leg, Nicholas says, “You’re a doctor. Deal with it.” And Danny adds, “Yeah, motherf*****.”
2 “This s*** just got real!”
In Hot Fuzz, Danny has become a cop because he wanted to work with his dad – and because he’s a huge fan of Hollywood action movies. When Nicholas moves to town and reveals he’s never seen any of those movies, Danny shows him Point Break and Bad Boys II.
Nicholas finds the movies to be silly and unrealistic until he finds himself living one. And when he does, he repeats the line that Will Smith utters in Bad Boys II when things get kicked up to the next level and we head into the explosive climax: “This s*** just got real!”
1 “Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it’s time to rock and roll.”
While Hot Fuzz tells its story perfectly from start to finish and there’s no real need for a sequel, the final moments of the film leave the door open for a follow-up movie – and the promise of a sequel is very tantalizing. Nicholas and Danny have completed their journey as a duo, with Nicholas loosening up and enjoying the thrill of police work and Danny taking the proper procedures seriously.
A sequel isn’t necessary, and wouldn’t advance the characters more, but it would be endlessly fun to revisit those characters. All we can do is keep our fingers crossed for Hot Fuzz II: Hotter, Fuzzier Fuzz.