After Todd Phillips and Warner Bros. had another success with The Hangover Part II, they decided to end the series with a third and final film. The Hangover Part II was criticized for basically being a copy of The Hangover, but it still made a big profit at the box office.
Despite The Hangover Part III having an original story, the film received mostly poor reviews and didn’t make nearly as much as the first two films at the box office. Even though Part III is often regarded as the worst in the series, the film still had a handful of lines that were humorous. Here are the 10 Funniest Quotes From The Hangover Part III.
“YOU MISS CHOW?”
After Marshall takes Doug, the gang are sent to go find Mr. Chow, who recently escaped from prison. Alan is the only one from The Wolfpack who keeps in contact with Chow, so they set up a meeting with him at a bus stop in Mexico. Chow told Alan to come alone, but with Alan not being able to keep a secret, Chow quickly finds out that Stu and Phil are sitting in a car watching their meeting.
Chow goes over and breaks Phil’s windshield and starts to threaten them, but Phil is able to calm him down by telling him that he and the guys just miss him. Chow calms down and sadly mutters, “You miss Chow?” as he puts his hand up against the window.
“MY NAME’S ALAN AND I BOUGHT A GIRAFFE”
While Alan was obnoxious and dangerous in the first two Hangover movies, he was out of control in The Hangover Part III. This led many people to find the character more irritating than funny the third time around, but he still had his moments.
Early on in the film, Alan can be seen driving down the highway with a giraffe in a cage being pulled behind his car. When he sees a child in the car next to him looking up at his giraffe, Alan is ecstatic and yells, “My name’s Alan and I bought a giraffe.” While he was happy, anybody who has seen the film knows that things get traumatic for Alan, and the giraffe, rather quickly.
“THEY’RE ANGRY. ALL I FEED THEM IS COCAINE… AND CHICKEN”
Bad things always seem to happen when the guys meet up with Mr. Chow. In Part III, Chow is hiding out in Mexico and says he got into cockfighting. The joke is dropped relatively quickly until they get back to Mr. Chow’s place and talk about the plan to steal Marshall’s gold.
Alan goes to sit down on a box behind him that ends up being chicken cages. The guys are all attacked by the chickens and Mr. Chow even smothers one of them with a pillow. Phil then asks what is wrong with the animals to which Mr. Chow responds, “They’re angry. All I feed them is cocaine… and chicken.”
“I CAN THINK OF SO MANY PEOPLE I WOULD RATHER HAVE DIED FIRST… LIKE MY MOTHER”
Despite Alan being a 42-year-old man, he is still very dependent on his parents and still lives at home. After Alan’s little fiasco with the giraffe on the highway, Sid tells his son that he can either go back on his medication or he will cut him off from his money. Sid tells Alan that he and his mother can’t take it anymore and walks away, but then he has a heart attack.
Alan beautifully sings at his father’s funeral, but then has a not-so-pleasant speech. Alan starts off by saying, “I can’t believe my daddy is dead. I can think of so many people I would rather have died first… like my mother.”
“CAN YOU TAKE STU INSTEAD?”
After the guys recover from their stunt in Las Vegas in 2009, Mr. Chow continues to wreak havoc with people associated with the Wolfpack. After Chow kidnaps Black Doug, he gets wind of Marshall’s heist to steal $42 million in gold bars from an Abu Dhabi Sheikh.
Chow ends up stealing half of the loot by posing as a cop and pulling over one of Marshall’s vans. Marshall blames The Wolfpack for Chow’s activity, so he forces them to track him down and takes Doug as collateral. Alan clearly enjoys spending time with Doug more than Stu so he asks, “Can you take Stu instead?”
“YEAH STU, TRY NOT HAVING SUCH BIG HORSE TEETH”
While Stu usually tells Alan how stupid he is, Alan constantly told Stu how dumb he thought he was in The Hangover Part III. After Stu comes back from the pharmacist with Demerol and a pack of syringes, he asks if Alan and Phil have heard anything from Chow. Clearly not seeing the urgency in their situation, Alan pulls out his phone and says he got an email from Chow 20 minutes ago saying to meet him in Tijuana.
Initially thinking it was a bad idea, Phil says the location is perfect since it is only three hours from them. Alan then makes fun of Stu for not being able to read a map. Stu then says, “Yeah Alan, try reading… anything, ever.” Clearly not being able to think of a good comeback, Alan just replies, “Yeah Stu, try not having such big horse teeth.”
“PLUS SHE LETS ME MOUNT HER, WHICH RELAXES ME”
The first Hangover saw Doug get married to his soulmate, Part II showed Stu marrying his, and The Hangover Part III ends with Alan getting ready for his wedding. The final scene of the movie is one of the best as it sees Alan developing into a more mature adult by resigning from the Wolfpack.
Alan breaks the news to the guys and says, “She’s my soulmate and my new best friend. Plus she lets me mount her, which relaxes me.” Phil’s reaction is just as funny as he laughs and says “Oh my god” before Doug pipes in and mentions that maybe Alan shouldn’t say that again.
“AT THE TIME I THOUGHT IT WAS CHOW LIKE GOODBYE. YOU KNOW LIKE CIAO, ARRIVEDERCI, SBARRO, PAPA JOHN’S”
As the search for Mr. Chow begins, Alan, Stu, and Phil stop for gas. Alan runs inside to get snacks while Stu and Phil argue about the plan. Alan comes back outside and interrupts, saying he thinks he might have gotten an email from Chow a few days ago, but he wasn’t sure it was from him.
Phil reads the email which is signed Chow. Phil and Stu are baffled as to how Alan didn’t know it was from Mr. Chow, to which Alan explains, "At the time I thought it was Chow like goodbye. You know like ciao, arrivederci, Sbarro, Papa John’s."
“THAT’S MY PASSWORD. HEY PHIL”
Ever since the first movie, Alan made it painfully clear that he had a man-crush on Phil. Alan basically looks up to Phil and tries to act and look like him, which can be seen when Alan tries to make his hair look like Phil’s at Doug’s wedding.
After realizing he left his phone in the minivan Chow stole, Phil asks Alan for his phone to use the “Find My Friends” feature. Phil asks Alan what his password is to which Alan answers, “Hey Phil.” Thinking Alan is asking him something, Alan has to clarify, “That’s my password. Hey Phil.”
“NOTHING HURTS CHOW. I AM INVISIBLE”
After Alan and Phil manage to sneak into Chow’s penthouse suite at Caesar’s Palace, they corner Chow on his balcony. Chow is dangerously standing on the edge, so Phil and Alan are clearly concerned and tell him to get down before he gets hurt.
Being under the influence of cocaine, Chow says, “Nothing hurts Chow. I am invisible.” Phil tells him the word is “invincible” not invisible and tells him to get down before he dies. Chow responds, “Die? How do you kill, what’s already dead?” flips them off, and then parachutes down the Las Vegas strip.