Jackass might be a low-brow comedic franchise, but it seems to strike a chord with millions of fans around the globe. Perhaps it's because of the self-deprecating nature of the stars involved in the series, and how willing they are to make utter fools of themselves for the sake of a few laughs.
While the stunts themselves are quite hilarious, there's reason to give a shout-out to some of the quotes that have popped up in Jackass movies over the years. Some are ironic, others are just plain silly, and some are strangely philosophical, which is an irony in itself.
Bringing A Destroyed Car Back To The Dealership (Jackass: The Movie)
"But I Returned It With A Full Tank Of Gas."
One of the best Jackass stunts of all time involved the guys renting out a car, then taking it down to a demolition derby where it could be put to proper use. However, the owners weren't particularly impressed when Knoxville returned it a day later.
The car was completely totaled, and Knoxville was informed he'd have to pay for the damages. He casually rejected the idea while dropping this hilarious quote, which was a nod to anyone who had ever rented a vehicle and been penalized for failing to top up the tank upon drop off.
When Butterbean Knocked Out Knoxville (Jackass: The Movie)
"Is Butterbean OK?"
Eric "Butterbean" Esch is a professional boxer that nobody in their right mind would want to square off against. Naturally, that meant Knoxville had to do it, and it turned out to be one of his most dangerous Jackass stunts.
After being savagely beat down in record time and knocked unconscious, Knoxville woke up in a concussed stupor with a massive gash in his skull. As he struggled to regain any semblance of composure, Knoxville uttered this hilarious question.
Knoxville Getting Caught Shoplifting (Jackass: The Movie)
"I Was Lon Chaney's Lover!"
Knoxville decided to prank a convenience store by dressing up as an old man, then proceeded to shoplift anything he could get his hands on. The acts were designed to catch the owner's attention, at which point he became enraged, and tried to kick Knoxville out.
On the way out, Knoxville kept grabbing anything he could, further incensing the owner. Before finally moving on, Knoxville turned and dropped this funny quote, which was a reference to iconic Phantom of the Opera (1925) actor Lon Chaney, who died in 1930.
Bam Fed Up With The Stunts (Jackass Number Two)
"Please God, Don't Let There Be A Jackass 3!"
Jackass Number Two was an attempt to one-up everything that had come before, and it made the film arguably the best in the entire series. However, the toll of the various stunts was severe, and many of the cast couldn't believe the lengths they had to go to in order to get a laugh.
Bam Margera was one of the most vocal proponents of this viewpoint, as evidenced by this extremely funny quote. Of course, Bam failed to get his wish, and Jackass 3D was released a few years later.
April Margera Horrified (Jackass Number Two)
"You Had The Cutest Butt Ever, And Now You Ruined It!"
Bam's parents had to suffer through a constant onslaught of pranks, many of which were directed at them specifically. However, when Bam decided to allow Ryan Dunn to brand his bottom with a penis-shaped imprint, his mother was none-too-impressed.
After screaming in horror at the infected brand, April muttered this quote, which was both adorable and hilarious at the same time. Without missing a beat, Bam blamed it all on Ryan Dunn's unsteady hands. It ended up becoming one of Bam's most regrettable Jackass stunts.
Knoxville Thrown Off A Bicycle (Jackass Number Two)
"My Head Stopped My Body From Getting Really Hurt On That!"
Early in Jackass Number Two, Knoxville and Dunn decided to ride a pair of Penny Farthings in an attempt to trigger a catastrophic injury. They succeeded when Knoxville tried to jump a mound of snow, which caught on the overly large wheel and sent him flying right off the bicycle.
He landed straight on his head, which was nothing new, but it was Knoxville's reasoning that elicited the most laughs. This quote was indicative of his sarcastic personality which tended to manifest whenever he suffered a really nasty-looking fall.
Knoxville Disappointed In Steve-O (Jackass 3D)
"You Have Really Irrational Fears. 'Oh, I'll Go Swimming With Sharks, Put The Hook Through My Cheek, I Don't Care, But I'm Not Going Bungee Diving'!"
After everything Steve-O had done throughout Jackass history, it seemed incomprehensible that he'd suffer a fear of heights. In fact, Steve-O was afraid of both roller coasters and bungee diving, and refused to go along with either.
Knoxville accurately pointed out that Steve-O was willing to do just about any crazy thing imaginable, which made this particular fear somewhat puzzling. It just goes to show that every single person has a phobia just waiting to be conquered.
The Lamborghini Tooth Pull (Jackass 3D)
"Here's The Good News - What You Are Doing Is Stupid."
Renowned Jackass whipping boy Ehren McGhehey got more than a mouthful when he decided to have his tooth pulled by a speeding Lamborghini. The idea was simple - yank the tooth out at high speed in a rip-the-band-aid-off type scenario, to minimize the pain.
Before the Lamborghini roared down the track, Chris Pontius uttered this quote, which was pretty much in line with Jackass philosophy as a whole. It also failed to acquire the result McGhehey was looking for, leaving him traumatized from the ordeal.
The Flimsy Chair (Jackass 3.5)
"Everybody Deserves Everything. You Deserve This!"
During an interview with Bam and Dunn in Jackass 3.5, the pair recounted when the gang decided to jump on a series of treadmills at the same time, sending Steve-O's foot straight into Dave England's face. Without missing a beat, Dunn declared that "he deserved it."
Bam immediately replied with this quote, before trying to knock Dunn's chair over with him in it. It backfired when Dunn pushed him over first, damaging the chair. Later, Bam was shown trying to sit upright in the chair, only to fall over again, which was one of the most hilarious moments of the entire film.
Steve-O Talks Concussions (Jackass Forever)
"Concussions Aren't Great, But As Long As You Have Them Before You're 50, It's Cool. And Knoxville Is 49, So We're Good!"
If there's one thing Jackass is known for, it's head injuries. Over the course of the various films and the TV show that preceded it, the crew was subjected to a number of stunts that had them taking heavy knocks on the melon. In contrast to A-list stars who do their own stunts in highly controlled environments, the Jackass crew routinely put themselves in far worse danger.
Jackass Forever came out after a rather significant franchise hiatus, with the crew having visibly aged. Steve-O was quick to point out that they weren't spring chickens anymore, but they still had at least a few months left to absorb a concussion or two. Naturally, this is bad advice, and any victim of a severe head injury should immediately go to the hospital, just to be sure there's no life-threatening damage.