Summary

• The best Christmas with the Kranks quotes show the warmth and ideals of the holiday, bringing the spirit of the season to life.
• The misadventures of the Kranks trying to avoid the holidays lead to memorable and laugh-out-loud moments.
• While the movie may initially seem cheerless, it ultimately reveals the true meaning of Christmas and the importance of community.

The best Christmas with the Kranks quotes have cemented this as a modern holiday favorite. Based on John Grisham's Skipping Christmas, the movie stars Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis as Luther and Nora Krank. When the Kranks' daughter, Blair, is set to spend Christmas away from home in the Peace Corps, Luther persuades Nora to forgo the usual seasonal spending and put it toward a Caribbean cruise vacation. This little plan shakes up the whole town, leading to fun, festive warmth, and some memorable Christmas with the Kranks quotes.

Christmas with the Kranks can be considered a very cheerless Christmas movie in a lot of ways but towards the end of the story, the spirit of the season begins to shine through. The best quotes from Christmas with the Kranks often demonstrate the warmth and ideals of the holiday, as well as the laugh-out-loud moments that come from the misadventures of the Kranks attempting to avoid the holidays. As the movie continues to become a favorite fans return to each year, many notable quotes stand out.

20 "Skipping Christmas. What A Stupid Idea."

Luther Krank Has A Change Of Heart About The Holidays

It wouldn't really be a Christmas movie if the Kranks' plans to escape the holiday actually succeeded and, after learning some valuable lessons, the two stand outside in the snow and look in on their jovial party. Reflecting on it all, and having finally come around to the spirit of the season, Luther finally admits that his plan was foolish. It's all very heartfelt for a moment, but then Nora suggests that "maybe next year" it could work, which seems to give Luther another idea and provides die-hard fans with some hope for a sequel one day.

19 "Never Say Hickory Honey Ham To Me Again."

Nora Krank Tells Luther His Favorite Holiday Food Is No More

One of the biggest trials that the Kranks face is Nora's desperate quest to locate Blair's favorite holiday food, a canned hickory honey ham, which is just about sold out everywhere. After a huge ordeal getting one, Nora's bag splits in the parking lot, and the ham rolls into oncoming traffic and is flattened by a truck right in front of her as she screams in anguish. After getting back with a meager replacement, Luther asks about the ham, only to get this hilariously serious response from Nora. The silly alliteration of the food makes it all seem even more ridiculous.

18 "You Know What’s Odd? It’s When An Irish Pub Serves Fish Tacos. I Don’t Get That."

Luther Krank Complains To Nora About Their Food

Luther has an ill-fated plan to get himself and Nora tanned up before going on their cruise, and he convinces her to go along when the two meet at an Irish pub at the mall. On their way down the escalator to get to the tanning salon, Luther complains about the meal that they ate before they left and offers this interesting little observation.

While an Irish pub dabbling in Mexican cuisine does sound odd, what really makes this line stand out as one of the funniest Christmas with the Kranks quotes is that it sounds completely ad-libbed by Tim Allen to get some humor into a run-of-the-mill establishing shot, and it's a great reminder of how talented and experienced the cast of the film is.

17 "Why Are You Whispering, Luther? This Is Our House."

Nora Krank Comments On Luther's Growing Paranoia

As Luther begins his war on Christmas in earnest, he begins to become increasingly wary of the effect that it's having on his local community but responds to that by isolating himself more and more from them.

As he and Nora stare out of the window at people on their street discussing Luther's Scrooge-like behavior, he begins whispering his thoughts to Nora, and she retorts with this hilarious point. Luther's selfishness has made him feel unsafe in his own house, which wouldn't be funny if it weren't for the fact that all Luther needed to do to fix it was to go out and speak to his friendly neighbors.

16 "People In A Community Stick Together, Even If One Of Them Has Been Behaving For Most Of The Holiday Season Like A Spoiled, Selfish, Little Baby."

Vic Frohmeyer Rallies To Help The Kranks

After everything has completely fallen apart for Luther and Nora, and they're at their lowest point in the movie, Vic Frohmeyer steps in to save the day, transforming from a mild antagonist into a helpful hero. Vic gives a rousing speech to the gathered community about how it's their neighborly duty to help out the Kranks in their hour of need, but not without taking some well-deserved shots at Luther too. Even with that element though, it's still a very sweet and inspiring sentiment.

15 "This Isn't A Joke. This Is Military. This Is SEAL Stuff. I Saw It On Discovery Channel."

Luther Krank Stresses To Nora The Severity Of Their Mission

Luther takes his hand signs very seriously when Nora mocks him for using them while hiding from the community gathered outside their house. The fact that they feel so afraid of such friendly people is one thing, but Luther takes it to the next level. Doubling down on his war against Christmas, Luther insists that his hand signs are authentic military signs but his reveal that he learned them from watching TV casts some doubt on their accuracy. It is another sign that Luther's attempts to have a more relaxing holiday season are having the exact opposite effect.

14 "Santa Always Has To Work On Christmas Eve."

Marty Reveals His True Job To Luther

A running plot thread throughout the movie is the identity and assistance of a mysterious man named Marty, who keeps cropping up in Luther and Nora's lives. By the end of the film, it's revealed that Marty was actually Santa Claus the entire time, despite appearing to just be an impersonator who uses the gimmick to sell umbrellas. It's ultimately quite heartwarming that the real Santa was looking out for the Kranks all this time and though he doesn't look like a classic Santa when he's out of his costume, Marty shows that he has all the mysterious magic required for the role when he says lines like this one.

13 "I Really Think You Need An Umbrella!"

Marty Offers Luther Some Help In The Rain

The Kranks' first encounter with Marty happens at the beginning of the movie when Luther storms into the market to pick up some Christmas supplies for Nora and is irked by this strange Santa who won't stop pushing his umbrellas.

As Luther returns to the store for more ingredients, Santa urges, "I really think you need an umbrella!" The simple statement is so funny because it makes Luther furious. Luther thinks he can't get any wetter from the rain, but then an awning gives way and leaves him absolutely drenched, and it's easily one of the best moments of physical comedy in the whole movie.

12 "Finish Your Pasta!"

Nora Krank Misinterprets Luther's Look

This line is delivered by the great Jamie Lee Curtis early in the film. Nora and Luther have just dropped Blair off at the airport, and Luther has dried off after the umbrella incident. While he was getting rained on, Luther noticed a huge Carnival Cruise Line sign advertising a Caribbean vacation, and he can't forget about it. At the dining table, Luther starts pointedly gazing at Nora, prompting her to blush and exclaim, "Finish your pasta!" The quote hilariously sets the stage for Luther's grand plan, which Nora mistakes for a romantic gesture. She also adds, "Make sure you shut the curtains!"

11 "Free Frosty! Free Frosty!"

Spike Frohmeyer Leads A Protest Against The Kranks

Christmas with the Kranks picks up speed when Luther and Nora start actively skipping Christmas. They shun Christmas cards and decorations, and they try to hide from a determined group of carolers. The neighbors won't relent, though, so they taunt Luther and Nora with continual choruses of "Free Frosty! Free Frosty!"

Frosty is no mere snowman in this movie; he is a towering rooftop decoration with beady black eyes. Luther makes a huge statement by forgoing the Frosty tradition, and that choice comes back later with a vengeful frostbite. Spike Frohmeyer leads the campaign and can be seen outside the Kranks' house chanting for Frosty's release, as well as calling the house to do the same. It's essentially the movie's unofficial slogan and has become a quote that fans love to use around the holidays.

10 "Father Zabriskie, Hello. What Are You Doing Here?"

Nora Krank Runs Into A Priest While Tanning

Nora goes along with Luther's idea to get a tan for the cruise, but the couple probably shouldn't have done their tanning at the local mall. They don their skimpy swimsuits, and Nora is tremendously uncomfortable. However, the whole situation is made even more cringeworthy when they run into the town priest while in their revealing wardrobe.

Nora attempts to cover herself up as she greets the priest in horrified surprise. The priest is perplexed, but he answers, "It's a mall, Nora. I'm Christmas shopping." Luther runs out in his Speedo to check on his wife and similarly says, "Father Zabriskie, hey!" It's a classically farcical moment that Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis deliver perfectly.

9 "I'm Speechless! And Your Father Is Probably Overwhelmed."

Nora Krank Reacts To Blair Coming Home For Christmas

Blair's news of her holiday homecoming throws a huge wrench in her parents' plans. Luther and Nora answer Blair's phone call, and they have very different reactions. Nora is screaming with joy that she'll get to see her daughter again, but Luther is upset to miss his precious cruise. The irony that Blair has no clue about the cruise is appreciated. As Luther bangs his head against a wall, Nora says, "I'm speechless! And your father is probably overwhelmed." The sudden turn in the story is a shock, but it's what turns Christmas with the Kranks into a true holiday movie. It's also very funny watching Luther get some much-earned comeuppance.

8 "Who Are You? Not A Clue."

Nora Krank After Inviting Marty To Her Party

As Nora is out shopping for the homecoming party for Blair, she runs into Marty at the liquor store without his costume. He's very polite and endearing, so he gets himself invited to the impromptu Christmas Eve event at the Kranks' home. There's just one problem–Nora doesn't recognize Marty, but Marty seems to know everything about her. After she extends the invitation, Nora walks away with a puzzled expression and says to herself, "Who are you? Not a clue." It's very funny how the ultimate Christmas helper is right under the Kranks' noses the entire time.

7 "A Little Something For Your Child's College Education."

Nora Krank Bribes A Couple For Their Ham

The ham scene is one of the most iconic in Christmas with the Kranks. A harried Nora braves a grocery store and fights an elderly woman for the last ham on the shelf, but the elderly woman wins. Nora then bribes a young couple at check-out for their ham. She sees that they have a young daughter, so Nora pulls out her checkbook and suggests she is willing to hand over a sizeable amount for the last ham. Nora's unflinching determination to secure a holiday ham exemplifies the wild Christmas spirit that lives in Christmas with the Kranks.

6 "Blair Is Coming Home For Christmas And She's Bringing Her Boyfriend!"

Vic Frohmeyer On Hearing The Kranks' Dilemma

Though he's sometimes an intimidating neighbor, Vic Frohmeyer can be a good person. He rallies the whole neighborhood together to help Luther and Nora make Christmas happen on a whim. After Luther falls off the roof in an attempt to put up Frosty, the neighbors gather around to see what's going on.

Nora quietly tells Vic about their change in plans, and he repeats her every phrase to the community. The best part of that scene is when rigid Mr. Frohmeyer announces, "Blair is coming home for Christmas. And she's bringing her boyfriend!" It's such a heartwarming moment when everyone drops what they're doing to help out a family in need of a good Christmas.

5 "I Look Like My Mother And She's Been Dead, What, 15 Years?"

Luther Krank On His Untanned Look

Though this quote sounds a bit morbid, it's Luther's way of cracking a joke about his appearance for the Christmas Eve party. He got so tanned with his visits to the tanning bed that Nora decided to make him look a little lighter, so as not to confuse Blair. Nora's first idea is to try makeup to make Luther's face look paler, with Luther hilariously comparing himself to his late mother. The hilarious concept of the Kranks excitedly getting tans only to have to cover it up adds to the hilarious mayhem of the movie's climax.

4 “I Look Like A Mafia Lieutenant.”

Luther Krank

Nora decides that the only reasonable way to try and downplay Luther's new tan is to dress him in some very dark black and Luther has another funny wisecrack about his appearance, this time comparing himself to a stereotypical depiction of a Mafioso. This is another hilarious Christmas with the Kranks quote that's made all the funnier by Tim Allen's delivery, as he gives the line a little stereotypical accent to match his outfit in the vein of The Sopranos. It's part of what makes it a great Tim Allen Christmas film.

3 “Smoked Trout?”

Vic Frohmeyer Is Offended By The Kranks' Dinner Option

As Vic Frohmeyer is rallying the street to get together the party supplies that Luther and Nora need, he asks the Kranks what they have to serve as food and upon hearing the main results of Nora's desperate last-minute shopping trip, he delivers this great line. What makes it one of the funniest Christmas with the Kranks quotes is the disgust that Dan Aykroyd injects into it. The fact that Vic seems genuinely saddened and ashamed by the idea of serving smoked trout on Christmas Eve just sums up the tone of the festive comedy at play in the movie.

2 "Same Goes For Me, Double."

Luther Krank's Half-Hearted Thanks To The Community

Everyone is settled into the Christmas Eve gathering that almost didn't happen. Blair and Enrique are happily dancing and chatting with friends and neighbors. Nora takes the opportunity to make a toast. She eloquently thanks the community from the bottom of her heart. When it's Luther's turn to speak, all he can muster is, "Same goes for me, double."

Nora is quite embarrassed by her husband's faux pas. She privately tells him off for not being grateful and for being hung up on the cruise and, after more thoughtless remarks, Luther finally begins to understand what his priorities should be. However, his shamelessly awkward reaction to the festivities is one of the movie's standout moments, and it's a part of what makes him one of the most iconic characters from a Christmas movie ever.

1 "This Is A Simple Gift, Walt. No Costs. No Payback. Don’t Make It Complicated."

Luther Krank Offers His Cruise To The Scheels

Though Luther is often a complete Grinch throughout the film, by the very end, he clearly sees the spirit of the season. Knowing how hard Christmas has been for them, he offers his Caribbean cruise to the elderly Scheels across the street, and it's not played for laughs at all. It's a sincere moment in the film and a perfect note to end it on. As this line demonstrates, not all the best quotes from Christmas with the Kranks are sidesplitting gags or catchy holiday phrases. There's a heart to the film that's often overlooked, but it's what has made it a modern holiday classic for fans of Christmas movies.

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  Christmas With the Kranks

  Director:

  Joe Roth

  Release Date:

  2004-11-24

  Cast:

  Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dan Aykroyd, Erik Per Sullivan, Cheech Marin, Jake Busey, M. Emmet Walsh

  Writers:

  Chris Columbus

  Rating:

  PG

  Runtime:

  98 minutes

  Main Genre:

  Comedy

  Genres:

  Comedy, Family, Holiday

  Summary:

  Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis star as Luther and Nora Krank in Christmas With the Kranks, a Christmas comedy movie by director Joe Roth. When Luther and Nora learn that their daughter Nora won't be home for the holidays, breaking a Christmas tradition, they decide it's time for them to finally go on a trip for themselves and book a cruise for Christmas time. However, when their daughter decides at the last minute that she'll be returning home in time for the holidays, it turns into a mad dash to prepare their home for the seasonal festivities.

  Website:

  https://www.sonypictures.com/movies/christmaswiththekranks

  Cinematographer:

  Don Burgess

  Producer:

  Michael Barnathan, Chris Columbus, Mark Radcliffe

  Production Company:

  Columbia Pictures, Revolution Studios, 1492 Pictures

  Main Characters :

  Luther Krank, Nora Krank, Vic Forhmeyer, Amanda Frohmeyer, Blair Krank, Walt Scheel, Bev Scheel, Spike Forhmeyer, Officer Salino

  Distributor :

  Sony Pictures Releasing

  Assistant Director :

  Alan B. Curtiss