screenrant.com

10 Funniest Quotes From The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Judd Apatow’s directorial debut, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, changed the way that comedies were made forever. Prior to that, comedy movies were rigidly scripted, with the actors following the dialogue as written and then moving on to the next scene. But Apatow saw the potential to capture comedic lightning in a bottle and allowed his actors to improvise on-camera. The method led to a record amount of film being used during the shoot, but the rewards are obvious. Now, every comedy filmmaker tries to emulate that improvisational tone. It led to some great quotes. So, here are the 10 Funniest Quotes From The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

RELATED: 10 Most Painfully Awkward Sex Scenes in Movies

Continue scrolling to keep reading

Click the button below to start this article in quick view

Start Now

10 “If I have to hear ‘Yah Mo B There’ one more time, I’m gonna ‘Yah Mo’ burn this place to the ground.”

When a customer goes into an electronics store and there’s a DVD on loop, such as a Michael McDonald concert, to show them what kind of image quality each TV has, they only have to watch that DVD and listen to those songs for like half an hour. But Paul Rudd’s character David has to work at that store, so from 9am to 5pm every single day, he has to listen to that Michael McDonald DVD and he’s sick of it. He tells his boss Paula, played by Jane Lynch, “If I have to hear ‘Yah Mo B There’ one more time, I’m gonna ‘Yah Mo’ burn this place to the ground.”

9 “You know how I know you’re gay?”

Along with Wedding Crashers, The 40-Year-Old Virgin kicked off the late 2000s and early 2010s’ trend of dude-led R-rated comedies that peaked in 2009 with the $400 million hit The Hangover. The 40-Year-Old Virgin showcases the immaturity of its characters in pretty much every scene, like the infamous chest-waxing sequence, but perhaps never more than when Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd are playing a video game and calling each other gay. The whole “You know how I know you’re gay?” back-and-forth seems to have been improvised – or, at least, partly improvised – and it gives the whole scene a fun, spontaneous feel.

8 “Who the f**k are you to put me on trial?”

When Jay’s girlfriend finds crude comments written about women on his speed dating card, he tells her it was Andy’s and he gets Andy to act like the kind of guy who would say those things. Suffice to say, he goes overboard with it: “Look, who the f**k are you to put me on trial? I’ve never even met you. So, why don’t you back the s**t off, and stop with the inquisition? Ya know what, I don’t have to answer to you. You ain’t my b***h. Know what I sayin’? So, s**t, man. F**k it. You should keep your ho on a leash. Hey, b***hes be runnin’ wild, man.” Steve Carell delivers it perfectly.

7 “He’s a really nice guy and all, but I’m pretty sure that he is a serial murderer.”

We all know Steve Carell as a huge star of TV and film who is infinitely likable and comedically talented. However, long before he was a star, he wrote The 40-Year-Old Virgin with Judd Apatow to launch his acting career. Rumor has it that a few days into production, Universal considered pulling the plug on the movie altogether, because they feared that Carell’s character would alienate audiences due to his serial killer-like appearance. Seth Rogen’s character Cal made a reference to this in the final cut of the movie: “He’s a really nice guy and all, but I’m pretty sure that he is a serial murderer.”

6 “You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but I think he’s rockin’ the s**t in this one!”

After making his name in dramas like Good Will Hunting and The Talented Mr. Ripley, Matt Damon became an action star when he played an amnesiac spy in The Bourne Identity. Audiences across the world suddenly realized that this guy couldn’t just play a genius janitor who solves equations and falls in love – he can kick ass, too.

RELATED: 10 Forgotten Paul Rudd Roles You Need To Go Back And Watch

Paul Rudd’s character David reflects the staggering realization that movie audiences had about Matt Damon as he watches The Bourne Identity on one of the TVs in the store: “You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but I think he’s rockin’ the s**t in this one!”

5 “Gandhi baked is good.”

Cal in The 40-Year-Old Virgin was the first of many cinematic stoners that would be played by Seth Rogen over the next few years. In one scene, he talks to Paula about potentially getting some weed for her, and then they discuss which movie is the best to watch when you’re high. It’s wildly inappropriate, since she’s his boss and they’re at work, but they decide that Gandhi is the best call: “Gandhi baked is good. I always feel bad when I watch it baked because I get really hungry and I’m eating a lot and poor Gandhi is starving his ass off.”

4 “B***h, get out of the room!”

In every scene in the movie that is set in the electronics store, the guys are watching a movie or a TV show or a music video on the job. In one scene, Andy is trying to say something to Jay, but Jay is distracted by Zack Snyder’s remake of Dawn of the Dead, which is playing behind him on a flat-screen TV. When Andy tells Jay something that’s very personal to him and difficult to open up about, Jay sees a zombie girl bite into a man’s neck and screams out, “Whoa! F**k that n****r up!” And then he yells at the surviving character: “B***h, get out of the room!”

3 “Is it true that if you don’t use it, you lose it?”

When Trish’s daughter, played by Kat Dennings, wants to go to the sexual health clinic to sit down with a sex therapist and ask all the questions she has, Andy jumps on the opportunity to ask some questions of his own. He connects with Trish’s daughter on their shared lack of experience (although Trish’s daughter is a teenager and he’s 40). When he gets to the clinic, he’s terrified by all the sculptures and diagrams. Andy ends up getting laughed out of the seminar when he earnestly asks the therapist, “Is it true that if you don’t use it, you lose it?”

2 “She’s a hot grandma!”

When Andy first tells Seth Rogen’s character Cal about his new girlfriend, Trish, Cal is quick to point out that, since she has kids and one of them has a kid, she’s a grandma. Andy tries to deny it, but Cal defends his opinion: “I’m not a doctor or anything like that, but she’s a f**king grandma.”

RELATED: Seth Rogen & Lonely Island Still Developing Their Fyre Fest Movie

However, he also calls her “the hottest grandma I ever saw.” Since Andy is joining the dating game so late, the fact that he’s managed to snag “a hot grandma” is a point of pride. Cal compares his own grandma to Jack Palance and then says, “If Jack Palance looked like that lady, I would want to f**k Jack Palance right now.”

1 “You know, when you grab a woman’s breast...and you feel it, and...it feels like a bag of sand.”

After Andy says this, it doesn’t take long for the other guys to catch on that he’s a virgin. It’s a huge turning point in the progression of the plot, because it kickstarts their efforts to get him laid. They’re sitting around a poker table, swapping sex stories, and before long, Andy is asked to share a story with the guys. So, he starts making up a story and ends up drawing an unusual comparison in the improvisation: “You know, when you grab a woman’s breast...and you feel it, and...it feels like a bag of sand when you’re touching it.”

NEXT: Judd Apatow & DGA Respond To Sony's 'Clean Movies'

More in Lists