From "Dear God, Niles!" to "Hello, Seattle. I'm listening," Frasier has been loaded down with quotable moments and dry witticisms from the show's resident stuffy psychiatrist for decades. Some are hilarious, some profound, some just plain weird, but then there are those that are a different kind of funny.
Anyone can laugh at jokes about Roz's adventurous love life or jabs at Niles' ex-wife Maris, but there are those that are only funny if caught in the right moment. These lines are typically beloved by those well-versed in the show, but there's still an element of absurdity to them either way. Whether fans are in on the joke or not, these quotes still stand out amongst the show's funniest.
Niles On Meeting His "Clone"
“I Can’t Talk Now Duke, I’m In The Twilight Zone.”
Alone, this turn of phrase from Marty Crane doesn't sound that funny. But in the context of the situation, it's very appropriate and very accurate. Shortly after Daphne's latest breakup, she ends up seeing a man who is essentially Niles' clone, much to the chagrin of Niles and the stifled laughter of the others.
To say that Niles is one of a kind would be putting it nicely, but the fact that there's someone else who adopts his exact same dress, mannerisms, and persnickety persona that makes Niles who he is. Though to say that Daphne doesn't have a type would be an understatement.
Bulldog On Wooing Women
“Second Date, Don’t Be Pushy.”
This is one joke that has to have the setup to work, but it's still pretty solid advice no matter what the situation might be. While Bulldog is doing some work with Roz as his producer, they begin spending more and more time with each other. Of course, Bulldog's frisky nature soon rears its ugly head.
As their escapades lead to Bulldog coming to work at Roz's apartment, he takes the opportunity to try to seduce her as only Bulldog can. Being the sleazy character he is, he goes all out with flowers and candles to try to get her to bed. Fortunately, he shows a little restraint before he can whip out the comical handcuffs.
Niles On Cover-Ups
“Can I Get You A Toast Point?”
Frasier is a man who is extremely well-versed in the realms of sarcasm, but this is perhaps one of his strangest utterings. As both Frasier and Niles become involved with an underground caviar smuggling operation, they soon panic when it appears they are about to be apprehended by the authorities.
As they try to eat most of the evidence, Niles delicately begins eating at his portion, to which his brother sarcastically asks this remark. Snooty, sharp, and to the point, nothing less could be expected from Dr. Crane's famous wit.
Roz On Ridiculous Names
“Hail Corkmaster!”
It might be the ridiculousness of the name "Corkmaster" but there's still something absurdly funny about hearing a group of grown men chanting this while drinking different vintages of wine. Roz certainly has a few quips and remarks on the subject.
The role of Corkmaster is essentially the president of Frasier's favorite wine club, and it's as silly and overindulgent as it sounds, especially with the ludicrous theme song the members sing. It's just the kind of thing the Crane brothers would devote themselves to full-time if they could.
Daphne On Niles' Pretension
“You’d Eat A Worm If I Gave It A French Name.”
The best lines in the show are the jokes that live by the maxim of "it's funny because it's true," and this quote from Daphne calling out Niles' pretentious nature hits the nail right on the head. Both Niles and his brother are fastidious and fussy socialites with extravagant tastes, so it wouldn't be surprising if they did fall into this image.
Niles is perhaps a bit snootier, having run with Maris's crowd long enough, it would explain his expensive and indulgent habits. If he's willing to scarf down raw caviar, he might be willing to do the same to a worm.
Niles On Discovering His Mother's Experiments
“My Reasoning Was Based On My Mother’s Obsession With Vermin!”
Like his brother, Niles is no stranger to the frequent freakout when the situation arises. In this case, he's finally coming to terms with how cowed and neglected he's been by Maris. Unfortunately, this has been triggered by false information in their mother's old diary regarding a pair of lab rats who bear the names Niles and Frasier.
Mistaken identities aside, the exclamation above is both absurd and true at the same time. It was what triggered his train of thought, but it did get the guy one step closer to marrying Daphne in the end.
Marty On Niles' Accident
“My Hot And Foamy Must’ve Exploded.”
The vermin line wasn't the only nugget of Crane comedy that made it into a single episode. Once more, Marty brings out a laugh-worthy line as he points out the obvious, when Niles in covered in foam.
In his excitement, Niles runs into the bathroom to splash cold water on his face after his massive anxious outpour. There's a period of silence before a loud bang is heard on the other side of the door. By the sight of him covered in goo, it doesn't take a detective to figure out what happened.
Aunt Patrice's Eccentric Language
“Dgo Ygou Spgeak G-Spgeak?”
No, Aunt Patrice was not having a stroke. But it's understandable and easy to see how Marty could think that. When Maris' eccentric aunt pays a visit, she tries to initiate her G-Speak language. Too bad Marty isn't exactly what his sons would call multilingual.
In the most basic terms, this is a silly line that really needs no setup. Just the goofy ramblings of a made-up language are enough to get even the most casual Frasier fans to start giggling, especially with Marty's reaction faces.
Niles On Physical Intimacy
“Niles Gotta Have It!”
When it comes to romantic escapades, Niles is a far cry away from Don Juan DeMarco. That being said, he has wants and desires like anyone else. Only this case proves to be one of the character's weaker moments, especially when it's Maris only using him for physical intimacy.
This particular episode is loaded with great lines, but they all culminate in his wanton declaration of desire. It's not the younger Crane's proudest moment, but it's possibly one of Niles' funniest quotes.
Frasier On Pranksters
“I Was Afraid You Were Trying To Get A Picture Of My Butt.”
As funny and strange as this Frasier line is, it definitely needs context to be fully appreciated and understood. When Frasier becomes the target of a pair of pranksters at the radio station, they offer a cash prize for anyone who can snap a photo of his pompous posterior. Naturally, this would make anyone feel uneasy.
Niles said it best, "How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia." Frasier gains nothing by stooping to his tormentors' level and is eventually beat by experience when half of Seattle is trying to stalk him for a humiliating picture. Still, it results in a line that's as funny as it is completely bizarre.