Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is a show filled with dramatic, scary, and sad moments. However, it is also filled with a lot of laughs, as the show has some incredibly funny moments and characters. Sometimes, these characters can say a single line that by itself is hilarious.
These quotes can be funny for the way they are stated, because of the context of the scene, or simply because they are a goofy thing to say. There are many humorous quotes throughout the show, but some manage to stand out for how easily they can make an audience member laugh.
When Ed Mocked Mustang
"Oooh, Sounds Like The Colonel's Scared Of Big Bad Scar, I'm Not Surprised Considering How Useless You Were Against Him!"
Roy Mustang didn't fair very well against Scar during their first battle due to the rain, so when Edward plans to fight Scar, Mustang adamantly discourages him from doing so. Edward doesn't appreciate the concern though and accuses Mustang of being a scardey-cat.
Part of the reason why Edward's words are so funny is how he states them. He becomes a caricature of how bratty he can be, putting on a mocking voice that someone would expect an elementary school bully to use. Which makes it even funnier when Mustang is actually affected by this insult, as he gets incredibly angry at Edward's bullying.
When Mustang Rapped
"Oh Snap, Snap, Spark, Spark, It's Time To Light Up The Diggy Diggy Dark!"
One thing many fans might not know about Fullmetal Alchemist is that the 4koma panels were included to balance out the sad scenes in the manga, and were thus similarly adapted into the anime. One of these extra scenes portrays a situation where Maes Hughes is about to be killed by Envy, so he calls Mustang for help, but is put on hold.
The hold music happens to be a rap by Mustang, where he spits rhymes about his flame powers and how silly he can act. It's so out of character for the cool, collected Mustang that the rap is instantly hilarious, especially when contrasted with the dire situation that Hughes is in.
When Sig And Izumi Met
"You Dropped Your Bear."
Izumi is a hilariously ferocious character, so it's only natural that she bonds with her husband Sig over this. After spending time in the Briggs mountains and fighting off bears, Izumi bumps into Sig, which is how they first meet. She becomes so flustered that she immediately runs off, and he has to awkwardly remind her that she dropped the giant bear that she was carrying.
What makes their interaction so funny is that despite being so tough, the both of them are immediately smitten with each other, and converse in incredibly soft and romantic language, which contrasts with the fact that they're talking about a bear that she killed.
When Hawkeye Pointed Out Mustang's Weaknesses
"Water Makes You Useless, Remember?"
Riza Hawkeye is one of the best female protagonists in anime history, and this is partly due to her quick wit. During a scene where she and Mustang are fighting off zombies, Mustang reminds her that they are in the same room that she cried over him in, as at the time she thought he was dead.
Mustang jokingly asks her to not shed any more tears for him, and this annoys Riza, who states how her tears would render him useless since Mustang cannot perform alchemy when he's around water. Riza's fast and insulting response catches both Mustang and the audience off-guard, easily eliciting laughter, especially since Hawkeye isn't usually so rude to Mustang.
When Mei Swore Vengence On Edward
"How Dare You Toy With The Feelings Of A Maiden, You Human Microbe!"
Mei is an incredibly dramatic person, which generally leads to very funny moments. This includes when she first comes to Amestris, hoping to find and fall in love with Edward, who she pictures as a handsome prince. However, she is incredibly dismayed to find that Edward is much more of a bratty teenager than she imagined.
Her revulsion at Edward's true self is funny enough, but she actually proceeds to take offense at Edward's appearance and begins screaming dramatically at him about how he has toyed with her emotions. Thankfully, she isn't so angry at Ed's brother, Alphonse, and they end up having one of the most touching friendships in the whole Fullmetal Alchemist series.
When Ling Pretended To Not Know Amestrian To Get Out Of Trouble
"So Sorry, I No Understand Much Language Of This Country! Okay, Bye-Bye Now!"
Ling is a very funny character because he always attempts to pose as an unassuming person. This includes his first meeting with Edward, which turns into a full-blown fight. The battle tears up Rush Valley, but when residents demand someone to fix things, Ling immediately acts as if he doesn't understand what they are saying, since he is a foreigner.
Ling is often treated poorly by Amestrians because he is an immigrant, so it's quite like poetic justice that he acts in such a manner in order to manipulate Amestrians to his own advantage. It's also very funny to watch Ling put on this act, and he also zooms away immediately, leaving Edward to pay for the damage.
When Havoc Fell For Lust's Chest
"I Can't Help It, I Love 'Em!"
One of the worst shonen protagonist mistakes in anime history is when Jean Havoc started dating Solaris, who was really the homunculus Lust in disguise. However, both Havoc and Mustang are able to recognize Havoc's shortcomings, as Lust reveals the size of her chest when showing the two men her homunculus tattoo.
Mustang makes a comment about how Havoc was always attracted to big-chested women, and instead of denying it, Havoc makes a hilariously impassioned statement about how Mustang is right. The spotlight that hangs over him only adds to the humor, especially when contrasted with the seriousness of the fight scene that they're currently in.
When Edward Threatened Selim
"Your Little Body Will Go Straight Out Into Space!"
Edward has always been self-conscious about his height and gets mad whenever anyone brings it up. So when Selim Bradley, who is a supposed massive fan, shows excitement about Edward being small, Edward has no reservations about threatening the life of the child, which is so shocking that it can't not be funny, especially when Edward looks so hilariously angry.
What makes the situation even funnier is that Edward is unaware that he is actually speaking to a deadly homunculus, Pride, who he would later have to actually physically fight. Not only that, but it's likely that Pride wasn't being precocious, he was actually trying to make Edward mad, which is hilarious to think about.
When Edward Tried To Grab Scar's Attention
"Don't Forget, I'm Edward Elric!"
When Edward comes up with a plan to attract Scar's attention, he certainly doesn't do it by halves. There is an entire hilarious scene in which Edward uncharacteristically acts like a saint, going around Central and helping its citizens with his alchemy.
In order to catch as much attention as possible, he performs these acts with a showman-like attitude, and he yells out for the public to remember his name in the same way that a fictional superhero might, fit with a pose and sparkles surrounding him. He also puts on a false voice, drawing out what he says to a very funny degree.
When Hughes Told Mustang To Get Married
"Which Means, Get Yourself A Wife."
One of Hughes' main traits is that he is obsessed with his wife and child. This obsession spills over into his interactions with other characters, including his best friend Roy Mustang, whom he constantly encourages to get married. He even does this when the timing is incredibly inappropriate.
Mustang and Hughes call each other secretly to discuss the shady things that are happening in Central, and Roy's upcoming transfer to the city. Maes suggests that Roy needs to make as many allies as possible in order to survive, and then suddenly undercuts the tension by suggesting he ally himself with a wife. It's so out of place that even Mustang hangs up the phone exasperatedly.