The cult sci-fi series Fringe revolves around the fictional Fringe Division of the FBI, which consists of Dr. Walter Bishop, a quirky mad scientist, his son Peter, a jack of all trades and resident deadpan snarker, Olivia Dunham, a no-nonsense Agent with the Bureau with drug-induced superpowers, Astrid Farnsworth, FBI agent and Walter's lab assistant of many names, and Gene the cow.
While each and every character was popular with the fans and got a fair amount of screen time and development, Dr. Walter Bishop is especially fascinating due to, among other things, his many quirks and hilarious lines. Today, we're listing the ten weirdest things Walter has said on Fringe.
“HELLO PETER, THIS IS ME, YOUR FATHER, WALTER BISHOP.”
In the Season 1 episode “In Which We Meet Mr. Jones”, Walter requests to speak to his son on the phone. He introduces himself in the most hilarious way as if his own son, whom he’s been living and working with, doesn’t know who he is.
“Hello Peter, this is me, your father, Walter Bishop,” says Walter. The snarky Peter responds with, “Thank you, Walter. I know who you are.” The sarcasm, of course, flies over Walter’s head and he just adds “excellent," before moving on to the matter at hand. Season 1 Walter sure is a treasure.
“I THOUGHT YOU'D BE FATTER.”
When Olivia first finds Peter and gets him to come back with her to the United States in order to get his estranged father out of a mental health facility, Peter hadn’t seen his father in years. Their reunion was certainly not a joyous one. Walter was clearly not in the best state of mind to talk to visitors, let alone reconnect with his son.
Suffice it to say that when he first lays eyes on Peter, Walter’s first words to his son were, “I thought you’d be fatter.” Peter is just as surprised by Walter’s poor choice of words as any of us watching the show.
"YOU KNOW... I HAD A FRUIT COCKTAIL ONCE IN ATLANTIC CITY. MIND YOU I'M NOT THE FRUIT COCKTAIL SORTA GUY."
Walter’s obsessions with certain foods are hilarious. Whether it’s root beer, blue cotton candy, fresh milk, blueberry pancakes, licorice, or what have you, Walter always finds a way to randomly insert his food preferences into a conversation. For example, one time he was discussing a case with Broyles and out of the blue remembers a very specific fruit cocktail.
When Broyles thanks Walter for his help on the case, Walter responded with: “You know…I had a fruit cocktail once in Atlantic City. Mind you I’m not the fruit cocktail sorta guy.” Confused, Broyles went to Peter for clarification.
“I’M DOSING A CATERPILLAR.”
The Season 1 episode “Bound” opens with Walter and Peter in the lab engaging in standard father-son conversation. Well, what passes for normal in the Bishop family anyway. Peter walks in on Walter conducting one of his odd experiments and asks what he’s doing. Walter casually replies: “I’m dosing a caterpillar,” as if it’s the most normal thing to do.
Peter then comments on how finding father’s giving drugs to bugs has become a normal event in his life. Still, who expected to one day hear the words “I’m dosing a caterpillar?" It sure took us by a surprise and never fails to make us laugh.
“EXCELLENT! LET'S MAKE SOME LSD.”
It’s no secret that Walter loves taking home-made medication and encourages others to do so as well. He openly talks about taking LSD with William Bell when they were both younger men, and admits to taking medication that he cooks up in the lab, as well as dropping acid. Many of Walter’s experiments involve LSD, which honestly doesn’t come as a surprise considering everything we’ve already said.
However, it’s still hilarious to hear Walter exclaim (with a bit too much enthusiasm): “Excellent! Let’s make some LSD,” as they prepare to pump Olivia full of drugs and put her in a tank of water — especially since this happens in the very first episode.
“I HOPE SHE DOESN'T NOTICE THE $2,000 FOR THE BABOON SEMINAL FLUID I ORDERED. I HOPE I CAN RECALL WHY I ORDERED IT.”
Peter once referred to Walter’s lab as "Bishop’s House of Horror", and he isn’t wrong. What goes on in Walter’s lab often qualifies as nightmare fuel. A whole lot of weird, inexplicable, and gross mixed in with downright frightening and disconcerting is enough to weird out anyone aside from Dr. Walter Bishop.
In the Season 1 episode “The No-Brainer”, Walter manages to surprise even himself when he can’t remember why he made a pricey order. When Peter mentions how Olivia caught him trying to order Celtic tickets on the FBI, Walter says: “I hope she doesn’t notice the $2,000 for the baboon seminal fluid I ordered. I hope I can recall why I ordered it.” We're certain something like baboon seminal fluid won't stand out whatsoever.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY COCAINE?”
We can probably agree that randomly asking people if they have any cocaine isn’t the most normal thing to do, no matter the circumstances. In Season 2's “The Same Old Story”, Peter calls Walter to ask his advice when a woman starts going into a cardiac arrest due to overdose of anesthesia.
Whatever we thought Walter’s answer would be, it certainly wasn’t this. Nonchalantly, as if it’s the most mundane question, Walter asks: “Do you have any cocaine?” At this point, we began to understand just how unconventional Walter’s methods can be.
"I JUST GOT AN ERECTION. OH, FEAR NOT, IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR STATE OF UNDRESS. I JUST SIMPLY NEED TO URINATE."
In Season 1's "The Dreamscape", Olivia requests to go back into the sensory deprivation tank to remove John's memories from her consciousness. Of course, this involves taking drugs, including LSD because that’s Walter’s go-to medication, sticking a rod into the back of Olivia’s skull, and placing her in an old tank filled with water.
When Olivia got undressed, Walter deems it the perfect moment to inform Olivia of his physical state. But to put her mind at ease, he quickly adds: “Oh, fear not, it’s nothing to do with your state of undress. I just simply need to urinate.”
"THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN A COW IS A HUMAN! UNLESS YOU NEED MILK. THEN YOU REALLY NEED A COW."
In the very first episode of Fringe, Dr. Walter Bishop requests a cow for his lab. At first, everyone is confused, but then Peter explains how human DNA and cow DNA share many similarities. Of course, Walter isn’t quite satisfied with his son’s explanation and offers some hilarious clarification.
In one of his most memorable moments, Walter utters this little gem: “The only thing better than a cow is a human! Unless you need milk. Then you really need a cow.” It’s one of the earliest Walterisms and an absolute fan favorite.
“SHE TRICKED MY SON WITH HER CARNAL MANIPULATION AND HE FELL RIGHT INTO HER VAGENDA.”
In Season 3, the Olivia from Over There, dubbed Fauxlivia, infiltrates the Fringe Division Over Here by taking the place of our Olivia and stealing her life. She even keeps Olivia’s newly-developed romance with Peter going, which naturally causes a lot of turmoil. But Fauxlivia also gets to Walter, who just can’t forgive her deception.
In one of his most unforgettable moments, Walter, visibly upset, delivers this iconic one-liner: “She tricked my son with her carnal manipulation and he fell right into her vagenda.”