Friends was one of the most popular shows of all time. Featuring six young people living in the heart of New York while they tried to figure out life and love, the show became the flagbearer of sorts for an entire generation and provided the blueprint for several shows that came after it which borrowed heavily from the premise.
While being mainly a comedy series, the show was so popular because of the emotional core at its center, and the many heartfelt moments we got to witness over the years. Here are some of the best life lessons those moments taught us.
Your Past Doesn't Define You
When we meet Ross at the beginning of the show, he had just come out of a divorce. Rachel had escaped from her house on her wedding way. All the other characters were also dealing with past baggage of one kind or another, like Pheobe's terrible childhood and Chandler's tumultuous relationship with his parents. And yet, despite dealing with a lot of stuff in the past, the six main characters were able to forge a new path for themselves and find happiness, and a feeling of becoming complete and at peace with unpleasant memories of the past.
Love Means Compromise
Time and again, characters on the show tried to get love without compromising their beliefs, like when Richard did not want to have babies and yet wanted to date Monica, or when Ross and Rachel disagreed on whether or not they were on a break, or when Emily was unwilling to let Ross even talk to Rachel while he was in New York after their marriage. Those relationships did not last. On the other hand, when characters were willing to compromise for the sake of love, like when Chandler overcame his fear of commitment to propose to Monica, it resulted in some of the most loving and fulfilling relationships ever seen on the show.
Life Doesn't Wait For Anyone
One of the biggest themes on the show was the importance of grabbing an opportunity as soon as it appears. Ross waited too long to talk to Rachel and lost her to Paolo. Richard lost Monica because he did not want to have kids, and later when he realized he wanted her even if it meant having kids, it was too late, and she had moved on to Chandler.
So many times, characters were unable to appreciate the opportunity that was right in front of them, and by the time they wised up, that opportunity had slipped away and left them filled with regret.
Keep Trying For That Dream Job
Joey's entire career consisted of giving his everything to each new audition or acting gig until he finally became a successful star. Monica had to work in one sloppy, messy restaurant after another until she was finally made head chef. Rachel started out as a glorified assistant at her job but ended the series as a major executive. Chandler spent his twenties hating the lucrative job he had until he finally had the courage to switch careers in his thirties to pursue his dream job in marketing. He was older than his competitors, but finally doing something he loved and found professionally fulfilling.
You Can Be Friends With Your Ex
Exes were a constant source of drama on the show, from Ross's ex-wife Emily to Rachel's almost-husband Barry. And yet, there were the other exes, like Richard for Monica and Carol for Ross, who, despite their troubled past, were a source of strength and support even after the romance had soured. Ross helped Carol stand up to her parents on her wedding day to Susan. Carol was there to help Ross deal with the reality of his friends ditching him to go on a ski trip with Rachel. Richard encouraged Chandler to go after Monica, and make her see Chandler was serious about their relationship. These were exes who still had a mature worldview and a warm attitude towards each other.
Money Is Not The Primary Motivation
Chandler has lent Joey tons of money over the years. And Joey never really paid him back for it. But when the time came, Joey was happy to lend Chandler a hefty amount to help out with expenses, in addition to having already given an equally hefty amount to Monica without letting Chandler know. The friendship between them was too strong to be affected by the matter of who owed whom what amount. Over the years, despite having jobs with drastically disparate salaries, the six have managed to stay strong and united and share equally in their joys and sorrows.
A Divorce Is Not The End Of Life And Love
Ross's marriage saga reads like a last will and testament of an increasingly desperate man. He started out happily married to his college sweetheart. She then turned out to be a lesbian. He then married Emily and screwed things up irreparably literally moments before they tied the knot. He then got drunk and married Rachel in Vegas, and tried to stay married to her in secret by lying to her about getting an annulment.
And yet, despite Ross's increasingly desperate maneuvers in the face of each fresh divorce, he kept dating, and living and hoping, and eventually found true love arguably the most famous romance in television history, with Rachel.
Be Kind And Just To Everyone
Friends is sometimes accused of being boring, because of just how nice all the main characters are. Despite having their personal flaws and issues, any one of the main characters would drop everything to help not just each other, but anyone who needs their help. Time and again, when faced with a difficult choice, the characters choose to do the right thing, like when Chandler allowed Janice to slip away so she could try to make it work with her ex-husband for the sake of her child.
Or when Rachel was willing to stop seeing Ross to comply with Emily's demand. It was this inherent decency of the characters when it comes to facing difficult moments that makes the cast so many people's idea of the ideal friends to have.
Learn To Express Your Feelings
Although most of the episodes are comedic in nature, sometimes things get real, and characters are forced to talk about their feelings. When they try to avoid those moments by burying their feelings, like Ross not telling Rachel how much he loved her, or Joey and Chandler not talking about missing each other after living in separate apartments, things inevitably get worse for the characters. Only through an honest expression of their feelings are the characters able to clear the air and find happiness.
Hold Your True Friends Close
The biggest lesson from the show is how important your friends are, your surrogate family in a new city. Your rock in a strange environment. And your confidantes at the end of a long day of dealing with the world's problems. It is frankly difficult to imagine anyone being able to find even one friend who is as generous, funny, loyal and charismatic as the main leads of the show, let alone six of them, but the show does teach the lesson of how important it is to hold on to true friends when you are lucky enough to find them, and not losing them because of a petty squabble or mean-spirited behavior.