Phoebe Buffay had never been a long term relationship person. It wasn't Monica, but actually Phoebe who had some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems could hear.

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Phoebe may play the fool at times, but she was a more than just a pretty blonde girl. She never compromised on her principles or her favorite places to eat! Ross wasn't completely wrong when he said Phoebe went from guy to guy having fun and not worrying that it never turned into anything serious. Yet, there were minor exceptions to that, like with David and Mike. From Phoebe's list of eligible and ineligible men, enlisting a few names wouldn't be such a bad idea. Now, would it?

Would Date: Sergei

Phoebe and Sergei met while she was giving free massages outside the UN. Sergei was from the country of Ichnech Traian Istan, with a G somewhere in the name. The guy was dashing, and there wasn't any hesitation on Phoebe's part to date a diplomat, who by the way was very sophisticated.

Now keep in mind Sergei didn't speak English, but he totally got Phoebe, by hiring a translator to speak to her. He was a smooth talker too. There ain't nothing wrong with having a little fun with a diplomat who is on official business in the UN.

Wouldn't Date: Roger

Friends Phoebe Roger

Roger was defined with the adjectives, great, cute, sweet, and so complicated. By complicated Phoebe meant he basically tore down every friend of hers. He started with Chandler, moved on to Ross, Monica, and eventually Rachel. The psychiatrist would then walk away as if nothing had happened. Roger was also bad at break-ups. He lashed out at Phoebe when she told him she was leaving him. It's best to stay safe from a guy so perceptive that he will tear you and your friends down.

Would Date: Rob Donnan

Rob Donnan was a confident, assertive young man who thought Phoebe's music was really great. He scheduled performers for children's libraries, so he invited Phoebe to play songs for them. Rob was sweet with Phoebe, and comforted her before her big performance in the library.

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Rob took Phoebe to somewhere private to talk about her inappropriate songs. He chose to broach the subject more lightly, however to Phoebe that meant singing slaughter songs about barnyard animals. Rob deserves praise for handling the whole Phoebe-getting-fired situation with grace. A sensitive guy isn't such a bad deal.

Wouldn't Date: Carl, The Chalk Guy

Carl, the Chalk Guy isn't shown in the show. But from what he heard from Phoebe, he gave her a tough time. Carl was known as The Chalk Guy because he actually ate chalk for food. When Monica announced she was seeing someone, Phoebe asked her if the guy ate chalk. Just because she didn't want her to go what she went through with Carl.

Why would anyone in their right mind go out with a guy who ate chalk? Carl put Phoebe through emotional trauma, so he's the worst type of guy to date.

Would Date: Clifford Burnett

Clifford Burnett was a real nice guy, who was in the hospital healing his broken leg from a car accident. Like a real gentleman, he asked Phoebe whether she wanted to go up or down the elevator and then proceeded to press the button. Which he couldn't, so obviously he had to seek Phoebe's help.

Clifford was unfazed by Phoebe's marriage to a gay ice dancer, or her sister's career in adult films. It's 2020, every girl is appreciative of non-judgmental, more accepting guys. Clifford happens to be one of them.

Wouldn't Date: Tim

Friends Season 8 Episode 5 Tim's Arms

Monica's sous chef and Phoebe's boyfriend Tim is needy and obsessive. At first, he seems like the sweetest guy, but very quickly she decided to dump him for his over-affectionate behavior. Tim called Phoebe all the time with queries such as, asking if she get out of the shower okay. And if Phoebe didn't pick up her phone, Tim came over to exert himself. A guy who is needy, anxious, and obsessive should best be ignored.

Would Date: DavidLisa Kudrow as Phoebe and Hank Azaria as David in Friends

David played a physicist who went off to Minsk and broke Phoebe's heart. The first time he saw Phoebe, he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. David chose work over love, and there is nothing wrong with that. If such qualities are appreciated in women, they should be appreciated in men too. Years later he returned to Central Perk, New York to tell Phoebe she looked phenomenal.

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David's stutter was actually part of his charming personality, as were his pick-up lines. He also thought Phoebe looked like Lenin's statue. David would have helped dial down Phoebe's crazy, like raising rats for pets. In other words, he was a decent option for a date.

Wouldn't Date: Parker

Alec Baldwin, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, and Matthew Perry

Why, why would anyone want to go out with a man who calls the Long Island expressway a concrete miracle? The overly enthusiastic Parker wouldn't be recommended to women with headaches, or any aches in general. The guy never lets up. He kept yakkety-yakking and putting good spins on irrelevant things, people, places, lights, imaginary events, and traffic jams. Parker was like Santa Claus on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!

Would Date: Mike Hannigan

Phoebe meets Mike's parents

Mike is the love of Phoebe's life, the one who didn't want her to change for anything. Mike knew the difference between love and acceptance. He chose to leave his job as a lawyer to play the piano. He assured Joey that Phoebe was the most important person to him. He agreed with Phoebe when she decided to donate their wedding money to a charity and get married at City Hall, instead.

Mike Hannigan is every girl's dream. If Phoebe wouldn't have married that guy, pretty sure someone else would have!

Wouldn't Date: Gary

Phoebe Gary Friends

It's all fun and game until Gary shoots a bird chirping outside his window. The guy had to go! Gary, the cop was Phoebe's boyfriend, the one she actually moved in with. Gary is smitten with Phoebe ever since she flashes his lost badge at him. He tracks her old address down to ask her out.

Phoebe and Gary had amazing chemistry, but compatibility matters more than chemistry. So does regard for other forms of life, such as birds and animals. Gary was just an evil, interrogative police officer. Hence readers are advised to stay away from any such men.

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