Out of all the main characters in Friends, Phoebe Buffay was the one with the darkest backstory, and a fan theory about her family background makes her story even darker and sadder. No TV show is safe from fan theories, especially dark ones that completely change the story of the series or specific characters, and Friends has been the subject of many of these. Even though Friends came to an end in 2004, it continues to be quite popular now thanks to its arrival to the world of streaming, and so more fan theories have popped up.
Friends followed a group of six young adults living in New York City and doing their best to balance their social, personal, and professional lives, all while dealing with everything adulthood threw their way. Over the course of 10 seasons, viewers got to know Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Rachel, and Ross quite well, including their backstories and family backgrounds, and they all had some sort of family drama. The one with the most tragic backstory was Phoebe, and even though she usually joked about it, it left fans wondering about any other potential, hidden tragedies in her family.
Phoebe and her twin sister Ursula were the kids of Phoebe Abbott and Frank Buffay, who were in a polyamorous relationship with Lily Buffay. However, Phoebe wasn’t ready to be a mother, so Lily and Frank adopted the twins, but Frank abandoned them not long after. Phoebe and Ursula were raised by Lily and her unnamed husband, and years later, Lily killed herself and at some point, Phoebe’s stepfather went to prison, where he stayed for years and during the whole series. This left Phoebe homeless by the age of 14, and she even resorted to mugging to survive. Phoebe’s stepfather is never shown in Friends but he’s mentioned a couple of times (and the way Phoebe talks about him implies they were close), and as the details of why he ended up in prison are never revealed, a dark fan theory suggests he was imprisoned for murder – Lily’s murder.
A theory posted on Reddit explains Phoebe’s stepfather killed Lily, based on a couple of details revealed in Friends. First off, Phoebe’s stepfather went to prison after Lily’s death, which is why she was left homeless, and he was still there by the time Phoebe got married. The author of the theory explains he couldn’t have gone to prison for drug dealing as that would have got him 12 years at most, so murder is a reasonable assumption. Another detail is that he was going to get a weekend furlough from prison so he could attend Phoebe’s wedding and walk her down the aisle, but he was unable to attend because he stabbed a man in the exercise yard, so he’s capable of murder or at least intentionally (and badly) hurt someone. Last but not least, in one episode, Phoebe says her mother was killed by a drug dealer, and when Monica reminds her that Lily killed herself, Phoebe exclaims she was a drug dealer. This could have been a slip-up, and as her stepfather was the only real father figure she had, perhaps a young Phoebe chose not to accept what he did and believe Lily killed herself.
Another explanation is that Phoebe’s stepfather could have told the twins that Lily killed herself in order to protect them and keep his good-man image, though that wouldn’t explain the above-mentioned “slip-up”. Looking at details like how long Phoebe’s stepfather was in prison, the theory of him killing Lily doesn’t seem impossible, but it definitely adds an extra layer of darkness and tragedy to Phoebe’s story in Friends. As for why Phoebe insisted that her mother killed herself while her stepfather went to prison for murder, it’s up to fans to decide if it’s a story she came up with to protect herself emotionally and mentally, or her stepfather lied to her and Ursula.