Crowned one of the best TV sitcoms of all times, Friends is a show that defined a decade (1994 - 2004). The series was originally broadcast to rave reviews and audiences, and that popularity has not waned. Presently, reruns of the show are ever-popular among viewers globally.
Friends was a product of its time. The 1990s and 2000s were a time when society had not turned the magnifying glass on masculinity. What it meant to be masculine was defined and unchangeable gospel. LGBT+ rights, however, were becoming a cultural and political force. As a result, masculinity's unchangeable gospel was threatened. Friends would become the perfect cultural emblem for this push-pull between what it means to adhere to society's rigid ideals of masculinity.
When Joey Was A Stud
Joey's character arc is not grounded in reality. The man who raised seven sisters as a child is, realistically, very protective of Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica. Unrealistic, however, is Joey's treatment of women that he dates. Incredibly paternalistic towards the women in his life, Joey's promiscuous behavior, coupled with refusing to call women after, is unbelievable.
To further disseminate the ideal of women as only defined by their importance towards men, Joey's three closest female friends never criticize his actions, even when other men treat them in a similar fashion. They are shown passively accepting this sexist treatment towards their sex, and even partaking in it with Joey in the name of friendship. Joey is a stud at the expense of every woman in his life.
When Monica Tricked Chandler Into Sex
In later seasons, Monica and Chandler try to have a baby. On one such occasion, Chandler comes home reeking of cigarettes. Monica, angry with him for taking up smoking, argues with Chandler for a short while. She soon apologizes and they sleep together.
As soon she gets her way, Monica brings up the argument once more, claiming she pretended to make up to get what she wanted. Chandler is naturally hurt by her deception and sexual manipulation. Yet, in the presence of his friends, he dismisses his vulnerability and downplays Monica's betrayal. Apparently, men are supposed to take all the sex they can get - even ones that victimize them.
Joey Dates The "Crazy, Hot Chick"
When a fan of Joey's soap opera, Days Of Our Lives, begins to stalk Joey at home, Joey and Chandler are originally scared. When they meet Erika, they change their minds, because she is an attractive woman. Erika believes that Joey is Dr. Drake Ramore in real life, so Joey goes along with her psychosis.
Although the guys make fun of her for being a "maniac" behind her back. Joey is perfectly OK to sexually exploit a woman who clearly needs mental health help. In fact, he only breaks up with her once he realizes that he cannot handle her mental health illness. Joey violates another human being's dignity because she is hot.
When Ross Dressed Up In Women's Clothes
Ross is the character most obsessed with masculinity. Indeed, Friends tries to explore the character's homophobic tendencies and even tries to provide healing for him, albeit in humorous ways. In 'The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel', audiences learn that Ross used to dress up in women's clothes as a child and make people call him Bea.
The episode ends with childhood Ross having a tea party with himself, in women's clothes, hats, and pearls. Evidently, the character's relationship with masculinity is not necessarily explored here, as much as it is exploited for laughs. Ross does not follow heteronormative norms, therefore he is a joke.
Chandler's Dad
Chandler is the most mentally immature Friends character. A boy who grew up trapped between two spiteful, loveless and oversexed parents, Chandler struggles to be a manly man. This is a continuous joke throughout all ten seasons of the NBC show. One of the ways in which Chandler was scarred was his father's sexuality.
Chandler's father is a transgender woman who had affairs unhidden from his young child. It is mentioned that the affairs bothered Chandler, but the cross-dressing disgraced him among his peers as a child. While this is understandable during the 1970s, what is not understandable is why a cis woman plays a transgender woman in the 2000s. Kathleen Turner, with her distinctive sultry, sexy voice, would play Chandler's father. Even worse is that crossdresser and transgender are used seemingly interchangeably on the show.
When Rachel Made Fun Of Ross
A big subplot in season 8, Rachel's pregnancy, produces a lot of laughs on the show. By the end of the season, Rachel is overdue and desperate to give birth. After trying all medical suggestions on inducing labor, Rachel has only one option left. She asks Ross to sleep with her, but Ross refuses for emotional reasons.
As soon as he explains why he is not going to "make love" to her, Rachel asks if he is a girl. For Rachel, only a girl would refer to it as making love. A true man, on the other hand, would be more vulgar and derogatory when it comes to such a masculine-defining act.
When Chandler Loved Baths
Chandler is originally skeptical to have a bath because it is only for women. Undeterred by this, Monica convinces Chandler to try a bath. Soon, he falls in love with baths and begins to crave them. In the next scene, he steals Monica's bath by jumping into it before she can.
When Monica catches him, she takes away his toy boat, convincing Chandler that since he doesn't have a boat, "he's just a girl in a tub". Phoebe walks in immediately after and mocks Chandler for partaking in the "manly" action of a bubble bath. She denigrates him for not adhering to strict masculine activities.
When Joey Had The Best Nap Of His Life
Joey and Ross are often paired up in humorously inappropriate scenes. Joey is portrayed as a hypermasculine stud, and Ross is especially homophobic. Consequently, the two characters together in sexually ambivalent scenes are often humorous. In the nap episode, Joey and Ross accidentally fall asleep together, napping and cuddling in perfect harmony. When they awake, they agree to never speak of it again.
Joey, however, is eager to tell Ross that it was the best nap he ever had and that he would like to do it again. Without delay, Ross protests and storms off. Unable to resist the sweet allure of the best nap he also ever had, Ross would allow Joey to seduce him into another nap. The gang catches them together, so Joey pretends that Ross was cuddling him without his knowledge.
When The Guys Took Care Of Their Skin
In another episode that pairs Joey and Ross as the odd couple, Joey finds Ross's skincare products in his apartment. Notwithstanding making fun of Ross, Joey decides to use the facial mask and asks Ross for instructions. At the end of the episode, Monica catches Ross, Joey, and Chandler practicing skincare routines on each other.
She calls them girls and walks away from them in judgment. Unfortunately, this would be one of many jokes on the show when the women themselves police the men's behavior, calling them "girls", "sissy" and "gay" when they veer from acting brute and tough, even for a moment
Joey's Pants
After Joey catches Phoebe's boyfriend wearing women's underwear, he anxiously approaches Phoebe with the subject. Phoebe tells Joey that she swapped underwear with her boyfriend for fun. While Joey happily accepts Phoebe wearing men's underwear, he cannot accept a man wearing women's pants. Phoebe accuses him of not being comfortable enough with his masculinity, so Joey puts the idea to the test.
He shares the news with Phoebe who is, at first, excited. Nevertheless, he shows too much enthusiasm for women's underwear, according to Phoebe, who asks him to take them off. To prove his masculinity yet again, Joey tells Phoebe he has to hook up with a woman immediately.