Arguably, Tej Parker (Ludacris) has the best character development in the Fast & Furious franchise. Audiences have seen the member of Dominic Toretto's crew go from refereeing street races to orbiting space. The supporting character has also morphed into an expert mechanic as well as one of the world's top tech gurus.
Tej Parker's set of skills isn't the only impressive thing about him. He is quite the talker too and whenever he speaks, he makes sure to structure his sentences in a creative manner too. And since Tej is Roman Pearce's best friend, most of his dialogue in the franchise involves him chatting with the petrolhead.
"Your Voice Just Went From Shaggy To Scooby-Doo."
When Dom and his crew are tasked with going after former British SAS Major Owen Shaw in Furious 6, Roman is bemused by how easily Shaw has managed to flee. He expresses his fears, saying they should leave, to which Tej responds by telling him that he sounds as scared as both "Shaggy and Scooby-Doo."
Shaggy and Scooby-Doo are known for their cowardice and Tej comparing Roman's voice to how the duo sound scared whenever they see ghosts, is fitting. Roman has always been the lord of skepticism and this trait tends to anger his colleagues. Tej calling him out for this while they are on a high-speed chase makes the movie even more hilarious.
"They Really Went And Scraped The Bottom Of The Barrel Here, Didn't They?"
Seeking to steal from Rio crime boss Hernan Reyes in Fast Five, Dom assembles a team consisting of various characters from previous films in the franchise. Tej isn't too happy to see Roman showing up too, hence he suggests that the driver is one of the worst they could have got.
The scene is one of the reasons why Tej and Roman are the best friendship duo in Fast & Furious. The two know how to poke fun at each other without outrightly sounding disrespectful. So far, Roman has shed the "bottom of the barrel" label and proved Tej wrong as his actions have painted him as not just a capable fighter but a capable field agent too.
"Feels Like We Looking For Waldo In The Harry Potter World."
In F9, the team has a hard time tracking Jakob Toretto in Edinburgh and everyone becomes frustrated. Tej comes up with a very intelligent reference that can be traced back to the Where's Waldo? puzzle books that require children to find a character named Waldo in a crowd.
By claiming that they're looking for Waldo in the Harry Potter world, Tej is suggesting that they might be looking for Jakob in the wrong place. He also means that the conspiracy involving Jakob is quite complicated and detailed, just like the Harry Potter world. It's a brilliant quote and it's no bombshell that it's coming from one of the most intelligent Fast & Furious characters.
"Plan B? We Need A Plan C, D, E. We Need More Alphabet!"
While trying to stop Owen Shaw's attack at a Spanish NATO base in Furious 6, Tej and Roman spot the villain commandeering a tank. They weren't prepared for it so Roman asks if anyone has a plan B.
Roman is always the reservoir of humor in the franchise but Tej tends to surprise viewers with his own creative jokes on occasion too. While funny, his words show how dire the situation is. If they don't come up with dozens of better ways to defeat Shaw, he is going to make a meal of them because he is way more prepared.
"What's The Matter Roman? Forgot The Snow Tires?"
Tej and the rest of the team head to Russia in Fate Of The Furious to try to stop Cipher from using a nuclear submarine to trigger a nuclear war. As the team dodges attacks from Cipher's men in the snow, Roman is struggling to control one of the most expensive cars in Fast & Furious since it's sliding in one line. When Tej sees what's happening, he makes fun of him once again.
Experienced drivers understand the importance of snow tires so audiences are as surprised as Tej to see Roman maneuvering the ice with normal tires. On the other hand, Roman has always been the kind of person to take on more than he can chew. A part of him must have believed that he was good enough a driver to not need snow tires.
"Otherwise, You'll Be Eating Breakfast Through Straws From Now On."
Tej only has a supporting role with limited screentime in 2 Fast 2 Furious but he still comes off as likable. While officiating a race, he lays down the rules to the drivers. He lets them know the risks too, reminding them that if they should not be too adventurous or they will end up with serious injuries.
Tej's words remind viewers of just how dangerous the Fast & Furious world is. In as much as the races and missions seem like fun, anyone could get serious injuries at any given time. In a worst-case scenario, they could end up dead. In recent installments, the threat factor has been thrown out of the window since those previously thought of as dead have come back to life, and those injured (like Hobbs) have discarded their splints within hours.
"It's Not Dummy Proof."
Tej isn't too happy about Roman grabbing and trying out one of his advanced weapons in Furious 6 before he isn't done working on it. Roman notes Tej's concerns but insists he's good. Tej isn't buying it and warns Roman that the weapon isn't dummy-proof hence he'll definitely mess it up.
Tej is right to be concerned since Roman doesn't handle weapons as well as he handles steering wheels. As a tech-guru, he has placed plenty of time and effort into enhancing the weapons so it's not surprising he wouldn't want to see it damaged in any way.
"When Are You Going To Give Rick James His Jacket Back?"
The leather jacket that Roman is wearing in his first scene in Fast Five might be appealing to viewers and fashion enthusiasts, but Tej isn't impressed. He concludes that it looks like something the legendary singer Rick James would wear.
Tej is the source of most pop culture references in the franchise and he keeps dishing them out unapologetically. Rick James was known for his absurd outfits, so suggesting that Roman's jacket belonged to Rick James is clever. The "give Martin Luther King his car back" response to Tej's words also counts as one of Roman's funniest Fast & Furious quotes.
"Who Does That? A Toretto."
Roman is shocked to learn that Jakob is Dom's brother in F9. He goes on to list Jakob's impressive skills, including his driving, his physicality, and his intelligence. He even seems impressed that he jumped out of a plane without a second thought, asking the obvious question "Who does that?". Tej has the perfect answer in response.
Both Dom and his sister Mia are known to be badass and that's why it wasn't a shocker to fans when it was revealed that they had a brother who was just as adept. It's a family of gifted individuals but trust Roman to still be awed by skills he's seen in many other people. Trust Tej to remind him too that it's no big deal.
"Maybe You're Just A Dumb***"
After escaping from military operatives in Montequinto without any injuries in F9, Roman wonders whether they have special abilities. It doesn't seem normal to him that they've survived so much over the years. Tej doesn't buy the "special abilities" theory and goes on to label him "dumb."
Tej is right about Roman not being the brightest of the crew but his theory about them having special abilities isn't that far-fetched, especially when other events in the franchise are examined. Hobbs & Shaw villain Brixton Lore has superhuman strength and advanced reflexes so invincibility might just be a possibility. After all, it's been proven that the franchise doesn't mind going to ludicrous lengths for entertainment.