Water is always wet, the sky is blue, and moviegoers can bet that there will always be a Fast and Furious movie on the way. The Hollywood blockbuster franchise is as ubiquitous as Marvel or Star Wars, and its films span nearly two decades of human history now. Given most studios' penchant for reboots and restarts, that's really saying something.
Of course, any media franchise as massive as Fast & Furious is bound to have detractors, and the series is often lambasted by critics as vapid and uninteresting. Yet, huge action movies with obvious narrative arcs have been around for decades, and criticizing a film for typifying its genre seems somewhat silly. Equally silly, however, are the hundreds of memes about Fast & Furious that have cropped up over the past decade.
Updated on April 15, 2022 by Tanner Fox: Released on June 25. 2021, the latest installment in the Fast & Furious franchise, simply titled F9 proved that, boisterous as it has become, the franchise isn't going anywhere anytime soon. The forthcoming tenth mainline installment is currently slated for 2023 and will introduce actress Brie Larson to the series, further confirming that the film series' final ride won't be for quite some time. Still, with every entry, the franchise becomes more overblown and convoluted. Originally about a band of small-time car thieves, it's since developed into an action saga comparable to something like the A-Team. The Fast and Furious memes, at this point, just about make themselves.
Nobody Knows How To Drive Stick Anymore
Gear shifting, no other action movie franchise has made such a mundane driving action more intense. In fact, you can frequently see the protagonists of any Fast and Furious movie rocking the stick shift quickly enough to throw a rod. Of course, they've got the technical know-how to revive even the most overworked engine, so they've earned the right to treat their vehicles roughly.
By default, most racing cars only have a healthy maximum of eight forward gears. Any more than that, and you're probably driving a rocket ship to Mars or got swindled by a car dealership into buying a car with bogus gearboxes because you're bald and like to wear tight shirts.
Family Is Everything, Morty
In the modern Fast and Furious films, Dominic Toretto is something akin to a superhero. Able to survive countless near-death scenarios and pull off incredible feats, he's like a less timid version of Rick and Morty's Morty Smith. With that in mind, it's easy to forget that, when the series first started, he was a relatively small-time car thief who had absolutely nothing to do with international conspiracies.
Today, however, his actions seem to have more bearing on geopolitics than some world leaders, and the government is seemingly able to rope him into whatever mission they've got planned with the simple mention of family.
2Fast4Me
There are only so many different variations of movie names available, even if "fast" and "furious" are the only consistent words in the franchise. Numbers do make things easier, but then people will probably get intimidated by the fact that they made nearly 10 of these movies already. Thankfully, the plots of the Fast & Furious movies are almost always self-contained, meaning that seeing the previous installment is rarely necessary.
Honestly, even listening to the movie's dialogue is optional; all a viewer would have to do is shut off their brain for a few minutes until the next action or racing scene kicks in, and the movie will still make just as much sense.
When You're Here, You're Family
Dominic Toretto's love of family is one of the most oft-memed aspects of the Fast and Furious franchise. There's nothing wrong with being close to friends and relatives, but he takes things to a new level, bringing up his love and respect for those around him whenever he gets the chance.
Imagine how elated Dominic would feel were he to walk into an Olive Garden and be greeted with their famous slogan "when you're here, you're family." His infatuation with the restaurant chain would ensure that the next five Fast and Furious installments take place mostly within an Olive Garden.
The Perils Of Going TOO Fast
It's no secret that being bald makes you look tougher, just take a look at Bruce Willis, Walter White from Breaking Bad, or Mr. Clean. Here, fans just chalk it up to male pattern baldness associated with car speeds past 150 mph. The faster you go, the balder you get, and to be honest, everyone looks incredibly tough.
Having a head full of hair makes Brian O'Conner —or anyone, really—stand out like a sore thumb, however.
Every Vin Has Its Diesel
The ever-rising cost of fuel is on the minds of many these days, and it apparently has some Fast and Furious fans taking to some ridiculous extremes. The actor's last name may be Diesel, but there's a pretty good chance that he's not actually made out of diesel.
Interestingly enough, Vin Diesel is just a stage name—he originally went by Mark Sinclair. That's a much less interesting name, but he may want to consider reverting to it lest Fast and Furious fans come after the precious fuel flowing through his veins.
Just Shave It
By far the most sincerely heartfelt scene in the Fast and Furious movies is Brian parting ways with Dom. This served as a tribute and nod to Paul Walker, who had passed away during the filming for Furious 7. Needless to say, it was one of those few rare meaningful film sequences in the franchise, especially for those who've been keeping track of the two since The Fast and the Furious (2001).
Needless to say, it's a sure way to get grown men crying, even those who are bald and like to look tough. It has also launched a thousand memes that are unrelated to the franchise but somehow best explain certain situations. That haircut looks painful, though.
Nothing Is Stronger Than Family
The phrase "nothing is stronger than family" stands among the most meme-worthy phrases in the Fast and Furious franchise. Dominic Toretto offers variations of this quote multiple times in every installment, and, whenever a script calls for a touching moment, fans can bet that Dom and his love of family will at least be mentioned.
To Dom, the terms "family" and "strength" are just about interchangeable, and, one might easily assume that, for a password to be strong, there's really only one logical option. As a result, he probably has the least secure online presence of anyone in the world.
Fast & Furious 50: More Faster, More Furiouser
As a big star, Vin Diesel has been in a ton of great movies over the years, and there's no reason to suggest that he'll slow down—metaphorically or literally—any time soon. Fast & Furious 50 might be a joke, but, at this rate, it might eventually become a reality. They just have to keep cranking more Fast and Furious films every six months or so.
What's more likely is that the serious will take a several-year hiatus, and then the crew, now gray and balder than ever, will return for "one last ride" which inevitably spills into an all-new series of sequels. That was essentially the plot of The Expendables, and that's about to get its fourth installment.
So, What Do You Want For It?
Big-budget action films are often accused of advancing wafer-thin plots in order to focus almost completely on huge action sequences. For some theatergoers, there's nothing better than a big, dumb action movie, but, with nine mainline installments, the Fast and Furious franchise's brainless plots are beginning to rub some the wrong way.
Rather than crafting some genuinely engaging plot points or including some honest, heartfelt moments, Fast and Furious movies tend to prattle on about things like family and togetherness. They've become about as formulaic as the average Pawn Stars episode.
The Fast & Furious Multiverse
Looks like space is the final frontier after all, though "final" might be an overstatement. After all, if a studio can make more than 10 movies about fast cars, short tempers, and even shorter hairstyles, they're bound to run out of roads on Earth where asphalt and wheels are viable.
The funniest thing about this is that it might have begun as a meme but it actually came to fruition. F9 legitimately took two characters out into space in one of the weirdest scenes in franchise history.
Less Faster, More Furious
It's no wonder why the Fast and Furious franchise has become such a success. Just take a quick look at the posters; a combination of cars, muscle mass, and guns are a winning formula to rake in a major audience.
It's too bad the franchise drifted away from the street racing aspect of the first three films and gravitated more towards guns and over-the-top action sequences, along with the frequent dash of global terror conspiracies, secret agents, and incompetent military factions. It doesn't get wilder than that, and the first three films almost feel like they're a part of a totally separate franchise.
Nitro Not Included
Automobiles are more disposable than underwear in the Fast and Furious films, and most cars will end up either totaled, crushed, or stolen. That's probably why they're not worth much in the films and why they're being given like pancakes to the current protagonist.
In fact, the only car that a protagonist had to work for was the first film's 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse, although this was back in the day when Fast and Furious was about racing. In reality, the racing car alone would have made the jobless protagonists broke.
Looks Like A Job For Michael Bay
Well, the filmmakers did mention the prospect of outer space for the franchise, so why not just jump the shark entirely? Why not add in aliens, time travel, and most crucially, dinosaurs who can outrun a muscle car? On second thought, maybe gas became a bit too expensive in the future and the crew had to saddle up and ride some dinosaurs, instead.
In any case, who could say no to Vin Diesel riding and racing with "Hero T-Rex." By the way, that "T" stands for testosterone, something Michael Bay will excessively lend to the production if he ever gets a hold of the Fast and Furious franchise.
Buckle Up
Calm down and take a seat, they're not casting Matt Damon, nor Hugh Jackman. Nor are they bringing back Paul Walker's ghost in Fast & Furious 9; that's merely a fan-made poster full of wishful thinking. With Fast & Furious 9 already in the rearview mirror, fans just can't help but wonder what's in store for the 10th installment.
Since there was a Fast 5, it stands to reason that the tenth installment should be called Fast 10. Just think of all the puns and dad jokes one could come up with such a movie title.