Brian Griffin’s degradation as a character on Family Guy has been a constant talking point for fans. While most of the Griffin family have devolved into awful people, Brian's arc feels especially terrible. He was once the voice of reason, feeding Peter some sound advice.
Now, he is essentially the world’s worst hypocrite. He's essentially a mouthpiece that acts like an insufferable jerk that sees everyone beneath him and acts like an enlightened soul, despite never really changing himself. As the show has progressed, Brian has regressed. These are the moments that proved that not every dog is a good dog. Here are ten of the worst things Brian Griffin has done.
Mistreated Stewie When He Became A Big Author
In “Brian Writes a Bestseller,” Brian becomes so frustrated with his book Faster than the Speed of Love not performing as well as expected, he sets out to write one of the most commercially-viable books ever. Titled, Wish It, Want It, Do It, this self-help book was hastily written and a product of pure cynicism.
When the book makes Brian a superstar, he hires Stewie to be his manager. Unfortunately, this gives Brian the idea that he can completely mistreat his friend. His “non” apology at the end certainly didn’t fix anything either.
Tries To Rip Quagmire Off
After Brian gets his teeth completely wrecked, Quagmire (who has his own issues as a character) takes pity on him and pays for his dental treatment. Quagmire hates Brian, so the gesture is seen as a momentous thing. With new teeth comes a new attitude so Brian becomes a real estate agent.
In an attempt to “pay back” Quagmire for helping him out, Brian decides to sell him a terrible property, the quality of which has been more than embellished. It's a scumbag move from Brian, but he finally gets what he deserves when Quagmire knocks his teeth out, causing him to lose the real estate job.
Sells Out
Nothing is worse than someone who sells out their beliefs. Brian has chosen some form of fame and money over standing up for what’s right. In “420,” after successfully getting marijuana legalized in Quahog, he becomes Carter Pewterschmidt’s enemy, who owns a stake in timber. Carter tells Brian that if he manages to sway the public in believing pot is bad, he’ll print millions of copies of his book with an Oprah Book Club. Stewie, knowing Brian cannot get there on his own, decides to help him.
The book bombs, as expected.
Tried To Elope With Bonnie
Brian’s degradation as a character can be closely followed by Bonnie Swanson’s. Bonnie has gone from a supportive wife to her disabled husband to completely apathetic to her husband. It has gotten kind of sad and finally peaked in the season fourteen episode, “The Heartbreak Dog.”
The two share a kiss and decide to run away together, despite not bringing any money. What makes this episode funny is how everyone piles on Brian for the things he did. This would not be the first time that Brian tried his hardest to get with someone’s wife.
Cheats On His Wife
A running theme on Family Guy is Brian’s abysmal track record when it comes to dating. Whether it’s messing things up with Jillian, not making a move on Caroline, or other things that will surely make an appearance on this list, he’s had some unlucky dating bouts.
As we all know though, Brian might be at fault for some of these. Case in point, he meets Rita, an older woman he catches feelings for. After the Griffin family makes her feel old, he decides to marry her. Unfortunately, he decides that she’s too much work due to her many ailments. He sleeps with a younger woman at the bar and makes up some excuse about “not being mature.” What a mess.
Made Out With Meg
In “Barely Legal,” Brian takes Meg to a school dance out of pity. He gets drunk to numb the pain of being there but ultimately defends Meg against her bullies. After the drinks start to hit, Brian and Meg share a kiss.
Aside from being underage, she’s also family which makes this entire thing gross. Things escalate quickly as Meg becomes enamored with Brian, introducing him to her friends as her boyfriend, feeding him a homemade pie full of her hair, and even kidnapping him and forcing him on a date.
Lies To A Blind Woman
As mentioned earlier, Brian’s track record when it comes to dating is spotty at best. The problem is, Brian finds some way to mess things up or, in the case of “The Blind Side,” acts like a jerk. Brian meets this woman named Kate who is blind. The two hit it off and have a great first date until it’s revealed that she hates dogs.
So Brian, in his infinite wisdom, decides to lie and tells her he’s just a very hairy person and doesn’t want to rush into anything physical. Even worse, once she finds out he’s a dog, he uses a different voice to date her again. Gross.
Neglects Stewie To Date His Teacher
Once you think Brian is going to do the right thing, he always seems to disappoint. In “Be Careful What You Fish For,” Stewie reports that his daycare teacher is negligent of the kids. Brian steps in to try and talk to her but backs down after seeing how attractive she is. Brian decides to forgo his promise to Stewie in an attempt to woo her.
The abuse gets worse on Stewie’s end, as his arm gets dislocated and Brian covers it up. It isn’t until Brian finds out the teacher has a boyfriend that he decides to do the right thing. He calls the cops and tells her, "What you did to those children, there's a special place in Hell for people like you."
Is Always Hitting On Lois
If your best friend takes you into his home, feeds you and cleans up after you, would you ever try to sleep with his wife? Brian’s constant attempts to flirt with Lois are gross and underhanded, especially considering how much Peter loves him. In “Play It Again, Brian” he finally decides to make a pass at Lois which ends up causing a fight between him and Peter.
Brian has always seemed like this enlighted guy though these actions come off particularly scummy. Thankfully, the other members of the family seem to knock him down for it.
Abandons His Son
In “The Former Life of Brian,” it was revealed that Brian has a son named Dylan. He causes a lot of trouble but eventually the two find common ground and he leaves to take care of his mother.
Years later, Brian gets a text from Dylan saying he’s returning to Quahog. Brian remains distant until Dylan mentions he’s on a TV show. Brian uses Dylan to further his writing career. Brian causes a lot of headaches on set and in the writer’s room, causing Dylan to call him out on how bad of a father he is. Bad dog indeed.