Throughout the years, Family Guy has created some hilarious moments. Debuting in 1998, the Griffin family captured the hearts, minds, and funny bones of everyone with a juvenile sense of humor around the world. Many of the best moments came from none other than Stewie Griffin (Seth MacFarlane) — the morally questionable baby of the family. Debuting as an evil mastermind bent on killing his mother, he's slowly transformed into more of a fun genius who gets into hi-jinks with the family's dog, Brian (Seth MacFarlane). With that said, even though he's moved away from his murderous beginnings, he still finds himself in some less-than-ethical situations and we love him for it. So, we've compiled some of his worst actions and did our best to rank them from least worst to best worst.
Steals Brian's Car
After Brian picks Stewie up from a playdate, he hears Carrie Underwood's famous tune "Before He Cheats", and asks to stay in the car when they get home so he can finish singing along. While this happens, he accidentally hits the gear stick, moving the car from park to drive. Once it moves forward, he quickly sets the car back to the park, which gives him the confidence to drive. That's when he decides to just straight up take the car for a spin.
Unfortunately, he gets distracted and smashes into a lamp pole. To make matters worse, he doesn't own up to it, drives the destroyed car back home and waits until Brian notices. Then, when Brian tells him he needs to face repercussions for his actions, Stewie runs away.
Created An Evil Stewie
After an attempted murder of a playground bully backfires on Stewie, he decides he's lost an edge. To make up for it, he runs an experiment to bring out a more evil side of him. Unfortunately, this doesn't work out either — Stewie is still a simple, fun-loving baby. Instead, he accidentally makes an evil clone who is only focused on injuring and murdering everything in its path. This alternative-Stewie so evil, in fact, he cuts Brian's tail off, feeds it to the real Stewie, then murders a woman to steal her car as an escape.
He's eventually killed in the end by Brian, but this monstrosity will go down as one of the worst things Stewie ever did, even if it was unintentional.
Kills Lois... Kind Of
So, for this one, we figured it's the thought that counts, but we'll get to that. In the two-parter "Stewie Kills Lois" and "Lois Kills Stewie", Stewie finally follow through with his desire to kill his mother after Brian gives her a pair of cruise tickets. Obviously, she takes Peter on the trip, but this upset her youngest son. This is when Stewie decides it's the time to do the deed. So, he takes a speedboat to the ship and shoots Lois with a submachine gun. This prompts an investigation that points the finger at Peter. But just before he can be sentenced, Lois returns and blames Stewie. This prompts a whole storyline where the baby becomes president and is eventually killed by his mother.
It turns out however, this was all a simulation, and Stewie learned he wasn't ready to actually kill his mother.
Kills Cleveland... Kind Of
When Lois returns after Stewie "kills" her, things are different. Stewie runs away, only to return to take his family hostage. Brandishing a gun, he asks Lois to feed him, and that's when Cleveland walks in. Stewie instantly shoots him in the heart.
Not wanting another crime under his name, Stewie then shoves Cleaveland's lifeless body under the couch cushions and kidnaps Brian. This is Stewie at his absolute worst, and considering he already killed his mother beforehand, we think killing again makes him a little worse.
Tortures Brian's Family
When Stewie discovers the now-former Disney star Hannah Montana will be playing a show in Quohog, he needs to go. Unfortunately, a name that big performing in a town that unknown sells out fast, and Stewie is devastated when he can't go — but that doesn't stop him from doing anything he can to get tickets. He reaches a point where he tracks down Brian's siblings just to murder and torture them so Brian will feel forced to either help him get tickets or sneak into the show. One dog explodes, but others are placed in a stretching device and an iron maiden in a pretty graphic scene.
It's a shame Stewie went to those lengths just to learn the pop-star is just an android created by Disney.
Leaves An Overdosing Mother Teresa To Die
So, there's not a lot of context to this one, as it's one of those trademarked Family Guy flashbacks. In this case, Stewie was hit by Lois, so he runs to his room to lock the door. He admits he hasn't been this scared since Mother Teresa — a Catholic Saint who set up soup kitchens and medical facilities for the poor — overdosed in his car.
Since he was terrified, we can give him a bit of a pass, but he displays some questionable morality in this situation, to say the least. Driving with two other people, Mother Teresa is seen passed out with vomit covering her garments. The scene is very tense, but Stewie decides in the heat of the moment to drive up to the hospital just to push her unconscious body out of the car. When the two other passengers protest, Stewie yells at them to just push her out, and he drives away.
That's stone cold.
Takes Control Of Chris' Body
When Stewie learns he's too short to attend college, he decides to take control of his older brother Chris Griffin (Seth Green). With a mind control device helping Stewie dictate every one of Chris' moves, he now has someone to do his bidding. Unfortunately, around this time, that means killing Lois.
Obviously, he doesn't succeed, however, let's unpack everything that happens here. Stewie took his brother's free will away in the hopes that he could murder his mother without getting his hands dirty. Chris would, in theory, take the fall and have to live with the fact that he killed his mom. That's really messed up.
Kidnaps His Bully
When Stewie gets an all-new tricycle, he's ecstatic. Unfortunately, for him, a local bully beats him up and steals it. So, to find his lost toy, he tracks down the child who stole it, captures him with a net launcher, ties him up and threatens him with a laser gun. Thankfully, the interrogation doesn't last too long as Lois finds the lost tricycle and finds him to tell him. When she opens the door to share the news, however, she sees the situation going down. She asks what is going on, to which Stewie replies they're playing house. When pressed further he says they're playing "Roman Polanski's house". The joke is pretty tasteless, but after you kidnap someone, we don't think you can really get worse.
Beats Up Brian For Money
While Peter is away pursuing a career of American football in London, England, Stewie becomes a bookie. Brian decides this would be the perfect time to place a $50 bet on a fight between Mike Tyson and Carol Channing. He loses, and Stewie comes to collect his winnings. Brian brushes it aside, however, and pays the price. The baby Griffin doesn't take too kindly to this and beats down the dog twice, breaking his legs, shattering glass in his eyes and even setting him on fire until he gets his money. This is an absolutely sadistic side of the baby that we never saw before this moment.
Kills The Family's New Dog
When Peter Griffin (Seth McFarlane) watches the popular stunt show Jackass, he's inspired to try his own tricks. This goes very poorly when the patriarch of the Griffin household finds himself drowning. Brian tries to save him, but strains his back and is eventually rescued alongside his owner. Upset at his dog's lack of heroics, Peter finds another family dog. This "New Brian" is a hit with the family, but Stewie can't stand the younger dog's cheerfulness. When he confronts the replacement dog about his antics, Stewie learns his beloved teddy bear, Rupert was violated by the new dog. To get even Stewie murders New Brian cuts up his body and throws him in the trash.