How The Grinch Stole Christmas
There have been quite a few adaptations of How The Grinch Stole Christmas, both animated and live-action. Originally a Dr. Seuss book, the tale explores a Scrooge-like Grinch whose only goal is to sabotage the merry Whoville Christmas celebration. If only Scrooge had the physical wherewithal to actually prevent Christmas from coming, he would be dancing the night away.
But the Christmas spirit triumphs yet again in this story of an evil man turned good. Maybe Scrooge will switch it off before the Grinch turns his frown into a huge smile. Is it possible the film's uplifting message would even turn Scrooge into a smiling elder by the end of the night?
Jingle All The Way
You may be surprised to find this movie on the list, but it exposes a side of Christmas few movies tackle. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad battle it out in a store-to-store adventure to fulfill the last-minute wishes of their children. As many procrastinating parents will tell you, Christmas is a frustrating time of the year. Of course, all this movie needs is a character with an Internet connection and it would be a lot shorter.
Scrooge would be on the edge of his seat as the two main characters stumble around town, destroying everything in sight. Nothing seems to go right for the two and their misery would be a pleasure to watch. Scrooge would sit back and laugh hysterically as Sinbad and Schwarzenegger become increasingly frustrated by the holiday; he might even revel in the fact that he has no gift obligations to worry about.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Lethal Weapon Writer Shane Black must love Christmas, because he penned this twisted Film Noir. In the first few minutes of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Harry Lockhart (Robert Downey, Jr.) steals a Christmas present for his child. The Christmas atmosphere is put on full display, but only within the context of some troubled and morally questionable characters.
This is definitely a "Scroogetastic" movie. But Michelle Monaghan in a sexy Mrs. Clause outfit trumps every other movie on this list. At least we'll know that Scrooge still has some blood pumping through his veins. He might get a kick out of one line - "Merry Christmas, sorry I f----- you over."
The quaint little town of Kingston Falls experienced a Christmas Eve like no other when a pet Mogwai named Gizmo found himself cloned into a number of violent duplicates. The terror is unlike any other movie, let alone Christmas movies. Needless to say, a Mogwai in a Santa hat is an image seared into my mind forever.
The 1984 horror/comedy was a massive hit and has since become a classic beyond cult status. If the slasher screams of Black Christmas weren't enough for Scrooge, the hilarious horror of Gremlins should put a great cap on the movie marathon. One can only imagine what he would have done if got his hands on a Mogwai in the late 19th century.
Many forget Batman Returns is a pure Christmas movie through and through. It's got everything a Christmas movie needs - snow, Christmas trees, babies, explosive presents and bats! Tim Burton's cold take on Christmas time is something Ebenezer Scrooge would surely enjoy.
But Scrooge would enjoy the loneliness in the film. Both Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle find themselves lonelier than ever on the holiday eve, prompting a fascinating relationship throughout the film. But the biblical side of Christmas even gets a shout out with Oswald Cobblepot's intriguing backstory, which is both tragic and sinister. The overall tone of the movie just seems like one of which Scrooge could relate.
The latest edition to crazy Christmas movies comes from the twisted mind of Jalmari Helander. The tagline says enough - "This Christmas, everyone will believe in Santa Claus." The Finnish movie is all kinds of strange. Not only is Santa Clause dug up in an archaeological expedition, but he and his angry, naked, elves go on a violent rampage. It's just how Scrooge imagined jolly old St. Nick.
Santa even looks like Scrooge to some extent. In fact, Scrooge is probably responsible for putting Santa in an ancient underground prison. But Santa's insane thirst for dead children is something only Rare Exports has had the audacity to explore. This movie should give Scrooge a belly full of laughs on an otherwise frustrating Christmas.
Christmas is a beautiful time of year where families gather and the streets fill with music. But as Ebenezer Scrooge sees it, the misguided joy is simply naive. The 11 movies we've listed are just right to keep the grouch distracted.
There are plenty of other Christmas movies for Scrooge to watch on December 25th - 0f course, most of them are cheery family films. A few capture the other side of the holiday spirit, where lonely people are frustrated and others just can't seem to catch on to the holiday joy.
If you are a humbug, what would you say to a full day of movies like the ones above? Are there any we missed? Discuss in the comments section below.
Christmas will arrive in homes on December 25th, 2010.