Don Dorrity is one of the many characters that make Deadwood such a brilliant show. Set in the titular outlaw town of the Old West, the show is a violent and vulgar masterpiece that gave us three wonderful seasons and recently brought the story to a satisfying close with Deadwood: The Movie.
While there are more powerful and ambitious people who oversee Deadwood's bigger picture aspects, Dan is certainly one of the toughest residents of the very deadly town. As the right-hand man to Al Swearengen, Dan is no stranger to violence and will not take grief from anyone. He is an intimidating, funny, and clever man with plenty of memorable lines. Here are the best Dan Dority quotes from Deadwood.
Unauthorized Cinnamon
Do not put unauthorized cinnamon on the godd**n meeting table.
Given that Al is one of the leading figures in Deadwood, his Gem Saloon is often used as the meeting place to discuss the town's biggest issues. Dan is not included among the high-ranking members who attend the meeting – nor does he have an interest in it – but he does want to ensure the meeting is as professional as possible.
To add some class to the proceedings, Al has cans of peaches provided to the guests. Jewel decides to add an extra touch by putting some cinnamon on the table, which Dan thinks is outrageous. Seeing a tough guy like Dan get enraged by cinnamon is an oddly hilarious notion.
Man Out Of Time
I'm older, and I'm much less friendly to f**kin' change.
One of the major themes of Deadwood is change and the acceptance or resistance to it. The town of Deadwood represents an outlaw way of life that is fading in America. People who are not ready for that change flee to this last sanctuary where there are no laws.
Dan is one such resident that doesn't look positively on the changing tides. He is a man who lives his life through violence and illegal activities. He excels in a savage environment and fears what civilization might mean for him.
Simple Johnny
If there's anyone who can f**k up the gathering of a bell, it's Johnny.
If Dan is Al's right-hand, then Johnny is Dan's right-hand. Though Dan might not be the most intelligent man in town, simple-minded Johnny makes him look like a genius. Al and Dan know Johnny to be a loyal man, but they just don't have a lot of confidence that he has the smarts to get the job done.
When Al is incapacitated, Dan finds himself thrust into a position of power and relies more on Johnny. Still, when it comes to a simple task like finding a bell, Dan knows that Johnny is the one person that could screw that up.
Man For The Job
You oughtta pin that [badge] on your chest. You're hypocrite enough to wear it.
As you can imagine, Dan has very little tolerance for authority. It's not surprising then that he doesn't have much love for Seth Bullock. Bullock is one of the few people in Deadwood that is concerned with justice, and he butts heads with anyone who lives outside the law.
On a rare occasion, Bullock came to Dan to employ his murderous skills. Though he wants Dan to do the dirty work, Bullock still tries to act like the better man. At that moment, Dan sees Bullock is the perfect candidate to be sheriff, which says a lot about Dan's views on the man and the position.
Dan's Way
Going wrong is not the end of f**king things, Johnny. F**k no! I have come back from plenty of s**t that looked like it was going wrong.
You don't get to survive as long as Dan has in his line of business without learning a thing or two about how to handle dangerous situations. Working for Al means that Dan and the others often find themselves in the midst of a stand-off. But while Johnny fears violence is unavoidable, Dan knows better.
For Dan, he doesn't see such situations as dangerous, as he has walked away from enough of them. When things look to be going bad, Dan has a way of turning his luck around, usually costing others their lives.
Warning
Take no tongue with me E.B. or I'll slap you f**king silly.
Dan can be a perfectly pleasant man to be around at times, but when he is in a bad mood, he is not someone you want to make angrier. While most characters in Deadwood are keen to throw well-crafted insults back and forth, Dan has no patience for such things and would rather punch anyone who annoys him.
When Al takes ill and is possibly dying, Dan is forced to keep an unconvincing rouse that all is well. E.B. Farnum tries to get some straight answers from Dan and sees how nicely Dan takes to that kind of questioning. He's a man of few words, but he chooses them wisely.
Stating The Obvious
Yeah, and when I feel a s**t coming on I'll remember to drop my pants.
The relationship between Al and Dan is oddly tender. There is no mistake in what each of their roles in the relationship is. Al is the boss and Dan is the henchman. Al is the brains and Dan is the muscle. Yet they have been together for years and have formed a brotherly bond.
Dan remains one of the few people who can talk back to Al without getting killed and Al is one of the few people who can order Dan around without getting killed. This quote is a fine example of both, as Dan lets Al know that his instructions are becoming redundant.
Easy
See how they like being commissioner after they're dead.
Dan is a simple man with a simple way of doing things. There is a reason why he's not the big-picture kind of guy because all of his plans are the same and they just involve murdering whoever stands in their way. These plans extend to all enemies, no matter how powerful.
When more change is coming to Deadwood, Al is trying to sort out how to deal with a commissioner who will be overseeing his town. Dan, of course, lays out his plan with the kind of rationalizing he's known for.
Challenge
Do you wanna try to change my f**king mind?
One of the most memorable scenes in Deadwood is the brutal and prolonged fight between Dan and Captain Turner. The Captain works as muscle for George Hearst and is therefore at odds with Al and his men. Given their similar positions, Dan and Turner immediately square off with one another.
The inevitable confrontation between the two hulking men comes when Turner visits the Gem Saloon and reprimands Dan for an earlier insult. Predictably, Dan does not back down and instead throws down the gauntlet for their bloody showdown.
Good Morning
Mornin'. Best time a day to go f**k yourself.
George Hearst might not have the best reputation throughout history, but it's still shocking how much of a villain Deadwood portrayed him as. Hearst arrives in town to explore the gold claims and soon begins buying, muscling, and murdering his way towards greater fortune.
Hearst is probably one of the most powerful people in the country at the time and he proves to be above the law. Obviously, that doesn't mean anything to Dan. When Hearst calls out a friendly morning greeting, Dan responds by putting the man in his place.