Curb Your Enthusiasm first aired in 2000, as viewers were introduced to the daily life of a fictionalized version of Larry David. Fans of David's signature observational humor took to it immediately, in the same way they loved Seinfeld. Now in the middle of its tenth season, Curb Your Enthusiasm's petty disagreements, amoral behavior, and celebrity cameos continue to delight viewers.
One of David's main companions on the show is Richard Lewis, another famous comedian. Although they are "friends," this is Larry David we're talking about. No one is above his wrath, and no issue is beyond his disapproval. This leads to hilarious arguments with friends, like Lewis, who also rarely backs down. Here are some of the very best Larry David vs. Richard Lewis moments.
Mink Stole
This Lewis-David debate occurs in the current season of Curb, showing that the show still has plenty of tread on its tires. David and Lewis are having lunch with Lewis's new girlfriend, Carol. David lends Carol a mink stole since it is quite cold in the restaurant. This inspires Carol to regale them with the horrific story of her mother's death after being hit by a train because her mother apparently owned a similar stole. David, moved by her tearful story, lets her keep the stole. After she leaves, David asks Lewis what she does for a living. Lewis tells him that she is a professional crier who is hired to cry at sad events. David immediately assumes the worst, that he has just been duped into giving away a nice mink stole. Lewis is obviously indignant that he would ever assume such a thing about Carol. Eventually, though, David's logic is undeniable, as it often is. She is dubbed a "con-crier."
High Maintenance
Lewis is the angry one in this argument. While Larry David is trying to make his new job (as a car salesman) work, Lewis interjects in the middle of a sale. It seems that David has told Lewis's new manager that Lewis is high maintenance, which can jeopardize his career if that sullies his reputation. This argument spoils David's potential sale, but it gets worse. David is distracted by Lewis's sweater in the middle of their argument and demands to see if it's made of 100% cashmere. Lewis doesn't want David to see the tag, which leads to a hilarious scuffle in the middle of the sales floor. David's boss sees this and fires him on the spot. Larry blames Lewis, of course.
Confirmation
Richard Lewis and Larry David might be good friends, but they are vastly different types of people. When plans fall through between them because, according to Lewis, David never confirmed, a heated debate ensues. After you make a plan with someone, do you have to send a confirmation later on? Larry David says no, but Richard Lewis says yes. Does this type of disagreement warrant such a loud exchange? Probably not. But it's Curb Your Enthusiasm. If Larry David feels inconvenienced, even in the slightest way, you will hear about it.
Outgoing Message
Richard Lewis asserts that Larry David ripped off his outgoing message on his answering machine. Yes, this is a real argument that occurred on Curb. David insists that he did not since he has had the same message for seven years. Lewis says he wrote that joke seven and a half years ago.
Lewis then plays the pity card, saying that David should let him have this small thing since his parents are dead and he doesn't have a wife. David doesn't bite but decides to change the message anyway. This is not an admission of guilt, however, as David is simply doing it because he's a "big, expansive man" and Lewis is a "small, petty man."
Reserved Sign
After Marty Funkhouser's nephew passes away, David and Lewis have an argument over a reserved seat at his memorial service. David had bribed the usher with $20 in order to get a specific seat, but Lewis disregarded it completely and sat down anyway, citing his urinary tract problems as his reasoning for snatching that specific chair. David and Lewis loudly go back and forth in the middle of the service, much to the horror of the rest of the mourners. But hey, David did reserve the seat after all. Lewis and the mourners couldn't care less, though.
Breast Reduction
Richard Lewis always seems to have found "the one." In this argument, "the one" happens to be a burlesque dancer. After David noticed a mole on her breast during one of her shows, she gets it checked out, which leads to her deciding to have a breast reduction. Lewis blames David for this, for if he never would have ogled her, she might not have visited a doctor and thought about a reduction. David blames it on his "breast vision." They do end up coming to an agreement on one thing; it is very selfish of her to consider having a reduction.
Colon Contest
David gets Lewis's girlfriend, Cha Cha, a job at his office. The only problem is that she sits near the bathroom, which means David must make idle conversation with her before and after he goes in to relieve himself. What's more, Lewis mentions that Cha Cha noted how David goes to the bathroom quite often, which infuriates David. Lewis, adding fuel to the fire, mentions that both he and Cha Cha are concerned about David's colon.
He indignantly insists that his colon is in excellent condition and that it is in better shape than Lewis's. If there is any doubt, they can have a "colon contest" any time they want to see whose is better, for they both end up agreeing to said competition.
Ben Laden
David and Lewis's arguments often segue into a completely different topic. So, naturally, when the two get into it over a bad recommendation that has hurt Lewis's career, it becomes a discussion about Lewis's accidental use of Ben Laden instead of Bin Laden. David suggests that Ben Laden sounds like a Jewish person, and Lewis runs with it by saying it sounds like a shirtmaker in Manhattan. They might disagree on pretty much everything, but at their cores, they are both still comedians who value laughs over anything else.
Mantra
Richard Lewis and Larry David could both benefit from some meditation. When Lewis lets David know that he's going to take up meditation to improve his mood, David gives him a mantra that he can use. It does work, though David gets jealous and wants his mantra back. The two argue over rights to "jiya," eventually agreeing that they can split it. This dispute was not over yet. Lewis learns what "jiya" actually means (it's an expletive term) and berates David over allowing him to repeat such a filthy phrase thousands of times.
Parakeet
Larry David doesn't do condolences well. Richard Lewis's parakeet passed away, which prompted David to send Lewis a jokey condolence text. Lewis did not take it too kindly, but David just does not see the point in a heartfelt message sent over a bird, particularly a non-exotic, unspectacular bird. Although David finds a dead parakeet funny, Richard Lewis is genuinely hurt by his lack of sympathy. He gets his revenge, though, for when David consults him over a possible Islamic death sentence he is facing, Lewis responds with the exact un-empathetic message David sent after the parakeet died.