In addition to sporting some of the best dramatic writing on TV, Cobra Kai also has its fair share of hilarious quotes that deserve special mention. In fact, comedy has been a favorite element of the series ever since it debuted in 2018, and the writing team shows no signs of slowing down.
This kind of comedy helps break up the tension and drama that typically surrounds the rest of the series, which is a nice change of pace. Lead character Johnny Lawrence remains the show's most side-splittingly funny character, but plenty of others get their chance to drop a hilarious quote or two along the way.
Carmen Congratulates Johnny On His Mexican Cooking (Episode 1)
"Thanks, I Got The Recipe Off The Chili's Website. Wanted It To Be Authentic."
Johnny Lawrence is not a cultured individual, nor does he understand much about a world that has moved on from the 1980s. As such, he's particularly disadvantaged when it comes to experiencing what other cultures have to offer, even those that are virtually next door to him.
In the first episode of season 4, Johnny decides to surprise the Diaz family by inviting them over for dinner. When Carmen mentions that the food he's preparing smells good, Johnny replies with this quote, which betrays how little he knows about making anything besides a ham sandwich.
Terry's Acquaintance Examines John Kreese's Jaw (Episode 1)
"You Have A Habsburg Jawline. I've Never Seen One Quite So Perfect!"
Cobra Kai mega-villain John Kreese was completely out of his element when he decided to show up on Terry Silver's doorstep and crash an afternoon luncheon. Rather than turn him away, Silver was forced to invite him in at the behest of his girlfriend, a tech entrepreneur with a large network of snobby California elites.
After turning down a tofu appetizer, Kreese noticed one of Silver's acquaintances examining his jawline with particular interest, before dropping this quote. It's hilarious in the fact that a Habsburg Jawline is considered a genetic disorder, yet Kreese doesn't understand the reference.
Daniel Questions Johnny's Lesson Plan For The Day (Episode 2)
"I Go By Feel. Some Days I'll Toss 'Em Into A Cement Mixer, Other Days I'll Find A Hornet's Nest For Them To Kick."
The team-up between Johnny Lawrence and Daniel LaRusso was born out of necessity, and with little in the way of foresight. Thus, the ensuing conflict between the two wasn't unexpected, and in fact, practically unavoidable. How their relationship progresses is a burning question for Cobra Kai season 5.
After Johnny botched a "sand the floor" lesson plan by finishing an entire sparring deck with an electric sander, Daniel asked him what his lesson plan was for the day. Johnny responded with this quote, which was absolutely appalling, and spoke directly to his rather unorthodox training techniques.
Demetri Is Asked Where Johnny Is Taking The Miyagi-Do Students (Episode 3)
"Nowhere Good! I Heard He Drowned A Kid In A Pool Trying To Teach Him How To Kick! And That Was Before He Sicced A Rabid Dog On Eli!"
The Miyagi-Do and Eagle Fang students traded Sensei in the third episode of the season, and that meant hell for the former. They'd never had to contend with Johnny Lawrence's ridiculous, absurd, and dangerous training regimens before, and Johnny wasn't about to give them a free pass.
After running them up numerous flights of stairs towards a rooftop, the exhausted students stopped and asked where they were going. Demetri replied with this quote, before sharing some hearsay about Johnny's notorious reputation. Indeed, Johnny's training methods could be considered a jailable offense.
Carmen And Johnny Discuss Top Gun (Episode 4)
"You Can't Call Yourself A Maverick! Guy Didn't Even Earn A Spot At Miramar. Got His Wingman Killed, Too. Not Cool."
Daniel's fledgling Sensei/student relationship with Miguel was enough to throw Johnny for a loop. He hadn't expected his star pupil to bond with his greatest rival, and that caused... issues between himself and Carmen, particularly where the bedroom activities were concerned.
After failing to perform, the two discussed Daniel and Miguel, before the conversation somehow spilled over into a Top Gun reference. When Carmen expressed that she had the hots for Tom Cruise's character Maverick, an irritated Johnny responded with this hilarious quote, completely missing the point.
The All Valley Board Discusses The Upcoming Tournament (Episode 6)
[Sue] "Oh God, This Is The Malcolm-Jamal Warner Debacle All Over Again!" [George] "We All Had Egg On Our Faces That Day."
Episode six began with the normally professional All-Valley Karate Tournament board members arguing amongst themselves over how it should be changed for the current year, and things got personal. Their frustration quickly grew into fatigue, especially when the President of the board suggested bringing in a celebrity for a musical performance.
Sue and George immediately shared a mutually horrific recollection of something they refer to as the "Malcolm-Jamal Warner debacle," which sounded particularly bad. Ironically, the suggestion would pay off, with pop-country star Carrie Underwood making a dazzling cameo appearance in episode eight.
Johnny And Carmen Reveal Their Relationship To Miguel (Episode 7)
"We Were Waiting For The Right Time And Place. We Wanted To Take You To A Nice Restaurant... A Chili's Or A Marie Callender's. A Red Lobster."
Johnny's lack of culture and finesse reared its humorous head once more in episode seven, after Miguel found his headband in his mother's bed. This Cobra Kai fan-favorite duo decided it was time to come clean, and it was about as awkward as anyone could expect, especially with Johnny involved.
They apologized for not breaking the news sooner, and Johnny remarked that they were waiting for the right time to spill the beans. He then made things worse by uttering this quote, revealing what he believed was a "nice restaurant."
Johnny Has Trouble Taking A Side (Episode 7)
"Always Wear Protection. No? No... Don't Wear Protection. Uhhh, You Let The Girl Decide That."
Johnny had been Miguel's Sensei for three seasons of Cobra Kai, and with that relationship came a father/son dynamic, as well as two friends who bonded over karate. As such, it was especially difficult for Johnny to adapt to his role as Miguel's surrogate father, especially when his relationship with Carmen was revealed.
When Miguel showed up late to sit down to dinner with them, Carmen was visibly upset. Miguel told them that he was with Samantha on a date, but Carmen didn't accept that as an excuse. Meanwhile, Johnny attempted to give some sage relationship advice, much to Carmen's horror, particularly when he backtracked halfway through.
Cousin Vanessa Does A Family Therapy Session With The LaRussos (Episode 8)
"Okay, I'm Sorry, How Many Stones Do You Plan On Throwing From Your Glass House?"
Anthony LaRusso's scarce presence is one thing that never made sense about Cobra Kai, but season 4 made him a regular character. He had gotten away with too much during his time, and when his parents learned that he was bullying a boy named Kenny in school, it was the last straw. In truth, the two faced a reckoning for essentially giving Anthony way too much freedom, with very little in the way of discipline.
When cousin Vanessa offered to sit down with Amanda and Daniel to discuss Anthony's problems, they soon found themselves in the crosshairs. It didn't take long for Amanda to get irritated, uttering this hilarious quote towards Vanessa, who remained completely objective and professional the entire time.