Cheers is one of the quintessential TV shows of all time. For eleven season, viewers tuned in to catch up on all the day-to-day shenanigans of the patrons and staff at Cheers, a bar in Boston. It was such a simple concept, yet it resonated so strongly with the audience due to its mix of dry and slapstick humor, as well as its enthralling group of characters.
It was never just about the hero, bar owner and bartender Sam Malone (Ted Danson), who used to pitch for the Boston Red Sox. The minor characters often end up carrying the show, particularly the mailman and resident trivia-whiz Cliff Clavin (John Ratzenberger). You name anything, and Cliff can probably give you a fun fact about it, and in a way that will still make everyone laugh. Here are some of the best moments for one of the most well-written characters on Cheers; Cliff Clavin.
Cold Beer
When you spend as much time at a bar as Cliff does, you're probably going to defend the drinking of beer in all situations. Therefore, when Diane asks Norm, Cliff's main drinking buddy, how he can drink cold beer on a cold day, Cliff obviously knows the historical significance behind the practice.
Diane, who enjoys a good debate, then asks the boys why they drink beer on a hot day since, according to Cliff, it is actually best suited for cold days. "What else are you gonna do with it?" said Cliff. Checkmate, Diane.
Black Belt
On occasion, people do not especially care for Cliff's constant history lessons. Such is the case when Cliff has an altercation with a patron that has grown tired of his antics. While he originally steals away, not wanting to get into a scrum, Cliff eventually tells his angry opponent that his hands are considered weapons due to his martial arts training.
To prove it to the Cheers regulars, who are skeptical, Cliff breaks a wooden plank and brick with his foot and head, respectively. Cliff plays it cool the whole way, while everyone in the bar is mesmerized. However, he quickly pulls Diane aside and discretely tells her that he has no idea what he's doing and asks that she take him to the hospital immediately.
Jeopardy!
What better place for Cliff to thrive than on Jeopardy!? It would seem like Cliff should run away with a trivia game show like this, and for a while, that is exactly what happens. Nevertheless, there was always a sprinkling of dim-wittedness in all of Cliff's intellectuality, and that revealed itself in the final round.
With an enormous lead, Cliff decided to wager everything he had on Archibald Leach, Bernard Schwartz, and Lucille LeSueur being "three people who've never been in my kitchen." Perhaps he panicked. Nevertheless, he is still the resident trivia king at Cheers.
Squeaky Shoes
Some of Cliff's most disastrous ventures provide the biggest laughs in Cheers. When Cliff pitches an amazing deal he has on some designer men's shoes, everyone in the bar buys a pair from him.
They are comfortable and stylish, the only problem is that they make a loud squeaking noise when you walk around in them. The Cheers bar has now become a chorus of squeaks thanks to Cliff, but don't worry, as Cliff assured everyone that"After a few weeks of constant wear, it'll be alright."
Wolfman
Regulars at Cheers must know how to take a good ribbing. When the men decide to have a beard-growing content, Sam, Norm, and Frasier produce thick, lumberjack-like facial hair.
Cliff, unfortunately, only grows a mustache, while the rest of his facial hair is patchy and uneven. This leads to everyone screaming "Wolfman!" in fake horror when Cliff enters the bar with his pathetic attempt at a beard. Cliff is not above dishing it out, but clearly, he can take it as well.
Trivia Napkins
With the amount of time that Cliff has dedicated to gracing the patrons of Cheers with his knowledge, there was no way he was simply going to roll over and let some trivia napkins take his place.
When Sam introduces bar napkins with fun facts on them, Cliff feels that the napkins might be threatening to take his place. He spends a while trying to prove his superiority, but eventually, Cliff has enough. "It's time to make a choice, fellas. Me or the napkins!" They went with Cliff (begrudgingly).
Kind Words
Cliff often attempts to be kind and understanding to others who are feeling down, though he doesn't really have a knack for it, unfortunately. Carla is jealous that Diane has gotten a lot of attention since she arrived, and laments that no one seems to be interested in her anymore.
Cliff, attempting to console Carla, puts a hand on her shoulder and says, "We weren't that interested in your life before she got here." Head full of knowledge, but not a shred of tact.
Electric Button
Cliff might be a bit rough around the edges, but at least he acknowledges it. The know-it-all mailman walks into Cheers one day accompanied by a buzzer-wielding psychiatrist. The psychiatrist's job? To send an electric shock through Cliff's body every time he is rude or insufferable towards other guests or staff members.
This is obviously difficult for him, causing him to have quite a painful experience. The experiment eventually falls apart, as Cliff does not agree with many of the psychiatrist's judgments, causing him to get into a wrestling match with him over the buzzer. But hey, he tried!
Lollipop Duet
There is no friendship as pure on Cheers as the one between Norm and his best drinking buddy, Cliff. When the two get the chance to sing a duet together, they seize the opportunity immediately, belting their rendition of "Lollipop."
Later on, they get another shot, only this time with the help of a few helium-filled balloons. Cliff and Norm only know the chorus, but that doesn't stop them from singing their hearts out with their hilariously-squeaky voices, as any pair of best friends would.
Stand-Up Comedy
Cliff has no problem making a fool of himself, even if it isn't always clear whether he's doing it on purpose or not. When he tries his hand at stand-up comedy, Cliff's awful routine scares away nearly the entire crowd.
Norm is all that remains at the end of his set (of course), which consisted mostly of him making a general observation, then following it up with "What's up with that?" It's cringe-worthy, but you have to give credit where credit is due. Most people wouldn't have even given it a shot.