Fans of the Castlevania video game franchise view the popular Belmont heroes as courageous, stalwart and honorable, right to the end. However, the Netflix Castlevania series decided to go in another direction with Trevor Belmont, who fans recognize from the NES classic Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse.
Here, the character is portrayed as boisterous and loudmouthed, with a propensity for drinking and a sad past, who overcomes his ways to stop the evil Count Dracula from exterminating mankind. Even when he steps up to the plate, though, Trevor fails to banish his inner buffoon, as evidenced by this assortment of side-splitting quotes, guaranteed to make audiences laugh, as well as cheer.
"Would You Please Leave My Testicles Alone?"
All Trevor Belmont wanted was a bit of food and drink, but the locals just couldn't leave him alone. Their distrust of the Belmont family centered around their supposed dabbling in the black arts, a fact which led to the clan being rejected by the local residents, who believed they were no better than the dreaded Dracula, himself.
Naturally, Trevor decided to antagonize the locals to the point where they ganged up on him. The resulting brawl made everyone a loser, particularly Belmont, who was kicked where it counts after being restrained by another fighter. His agonizing quote is just as hilarious as it is cringeworthy.
"Never Thought I'd Be So Hungry I'd Climb A S*** Pipe In Pursuit Of Breakfast!"
Episode 2 of the first season of Castlevania introduced audiences to one of TV vampirism's most engaging protagonists, Trevor Belmont. He starts off drunk in a pub before getting involved in a fight with the locals. Next, he makes his way to the city of Gresit in search of a warm meal.
Unfortunately, Dracula's night creatures have besieged the town, and the residents have barred the entrances. Trevor decides to infiltrate the castle through a sewage pipe, remarking about his plight with this funny quote, and the lengths he'll go to for a snack.
"Wait, Dracula Taught A Human Woman How To Be A Doctor? What Was First? Bloodletting?"
Trevor Belmont and Alucard didn't exactly start off on the right foot. In fact, they almost killed each other through mutual distrust, which would have had disastrous consequences for the world at large. Realizing that they shared the same goal, Trevor and Sypha joined forces with Alucard to combat the threat posed by Dracula.
That didn't mean either of them had to like it. Alucard's insults flew fast and loose, but Trevor was not to be outdone. When Alucard began retelling the story of how his mother had met Dracula in pursuit of scientific knowledge, Trevor balked at the notion with this quote, not realizing that his own science was vastly under par.
"In All Honesty, That Stink Might Not Be My Blanket."
After finding the Belmont Hold, Trevor, Sypha and Alucard spend a considerable amount of time scouring its vast books of knowledge in search of a way to freeze Castlevania in place and prevent it from teleporting. The days are wrought with tension, as Alucard finds himself essentially in the enemy's own backyard.
Sypha and Trevor decide to cuddle up and get some rest while talking about the darkness and emptiness Alucard exudes. The conversation then shifts to hints of a budding romance, especially when Sypha remarks about him sharing his stinky blanket with her. Trevor, however, had a different hypothesis.
"Well, I'm Armed, With A ... A Stick, Hmmm? So, I'll Understand If You Want To Run Away Now!"
Dracula's night creatures eventually find the Belmont Hold and initiate an attack that finds Trevor buying Sypha and Alucard time to locate Castlevania and lock it down. Trevor manages to slay a bevy of dangerous creatures born of Hell itself, but he is admittedly a bit rusty.
It all comes down to him facing down a ferocious winged demon with nothing but a stick in his hand. He stands in defiance and utters this funny quote, ignoring the silliness of his situation, and proving he still has what it takes to slay the creature with the simplest of blunt objects.
Trevor: "Could I Get A Mug? I'll Have Some Coins In A Minute." / Bartender: "You Killed That Bastard Thing. You Get One Free." / Trevor: "I Love You!"
After slaying Dracula in one of the best scenes of the series, Trevor and Sypha decide to continue their journey to battle night creatures and protect the people of Europe, as they are both destined to do. Their first stop is the city of Lindenfeld, where they discover monks of a local priory who believe in Dracula's original cause.
Realizing that they might pose a threat, Trevor and Sypha decide to stick around. A local offers to pay them coins for the fangs of a night creature, which is good timing, considering Belmont spotted a beer vendor nearby. Anxious to buy a pint, he has this exchange with the bartender, which is one of his most hilarious moments.
"Poor Bloody Cat Wasn't Hurting Anyone. Cats Just Want To Get On With Their Lives."
When Trevor and Sypha encounter Saint Germain in Lindenfeld, they aren't quite sure what to make of the man. His obsession with the Infinite Corridor is obvious, and this causes Trevor to have second thoughts about trusting him. Sypha, however, suggests that they try to help him find his lost love in return for assistance dealing with the night creature under the priory.
When it comes time to break the news that they are helping him, Saint Germain seems utterly shocked. Trevor attempts to downplay it out of embarrassment, prompting Sypha to share a story about how he broke a man's leg in three places after he tried to kick a cat. Trevor was quick to justify his actions with this funny quote.
"God, This Is Getting On My Nerves! I Wish I Could F***ing Kill You Twice!"
Following the disastrous turn of events in the town of Lindenfeld, Trevor and Sypha are anxious to move on and forget about it. They spend the following weeks going back to their old ways of traveling and slaying night creatures, which seems to bring a degree of harmony to their lives.
They eventually come across a vampire attempting to use dark magic to bring back Dracula from the grave, which has been a recurring theme in their travels for quite some time. He expresses his annoyance by addressing the corpse of the vampire with this hilarious quote.
"Wakey Wakey, You Shower Of A******s!"
Trevor and Sypha eventually make their way to Târgoviște, the site where Dracula enacted his first round of vengeance against mankind, specifically those who murdered his beloved wife. Night creatures have since cursed the town and driven it to the brink of total collapse, forcing the survivors into underground catacombs.
A woman by the name of Zamfir tells them that they are waiting for the so-called "Underground Court" to take action, and Trevor is anxious to meet them. He eventually grows impatient and forces his way past the guards behind a curtain, only to discover the dead corpses of the Royal Family being propped up as saviors.
"Can Someone Please Come Over Here And Kill Me?"
Trevor was prepared for the ultimate sacrifice when he takes on the physical embodiment of Death in one of season 4's most triumphant moments. The battle against this vampire-like eater of souls is intense, and Trevor knows that it will probably mean the end of his life.
For weeks on end, it seems like Trevor is lost. Sypha is prepared to move on, now pregnant, but Alucard convinces her to stay and build a new life in their blossoming community. Just as she agrees, Trevor emerges from the forest on a horse, badly wounded from his battle with Death. As Sypha runs to fetch help, Trevor asks Alucard why there are so many people around. Alucard tells him that this is a new town, and he named it "Treffy," a reference to Sypha's teasing nickname for Trevor, which he loathes. His response is nothing short of hilarious.