Xander Harris is the best friend any slayer could ask for. He is loyal, brave, and always there to provide some comedic relief when things start looking apocalyptic. Joss Whedon, the man who created the iconic series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, has said in recent years that the character of Xander was loosely based on him and his own high school experiences.
Xander is considered to be a "dork," but his confidence and wit make him cooler than most of his fellow students at Sunnydale High. Of course, no one is perfect, and there are a few things about this character that have become problematic over the years.
Brushes Off His Best Friend For A Crush
The way Xander treats Willow, his best friend, after he meets Buffy for the first time is cringe-worthy, to say the least. Willow and Xander seem to be the best of friends in the pilot episode of the hit series, but when Xander sees Buffy for the first time, he can't get away from Willow fast enough.
He goes from begging Willow for help with his math homework, to ignoring her in a matter of minutes, and you just can't treat a friend that way.
The Slut Shaming
Xander Harris is a high school boy, so his maturity levels aren't at an all-time high when he's first introduced to viewers. Xander doesn't really know how to flirt with girls or talk to them at all for that matter. In the first couple of seasons, Xander makes a lot of slut-shaming comments at other characters, particularly Cordelia.
In an early scene at The Bronze, Xander approaches Cordelia and says, "I don't know what everyone's talking about. That outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker", one of many comments that didn't age well.
Lies To Buffy
Xander makes a pretty unforgivable mistake at the end of the second season, but gets away with it. Willow is trying to give Angel back his soul using Ms. Calendar's spell, while Buffy is on the way to fight her ex-love and is willing to kill him to save the world.
Willow sends Xander to tell Buffy she's trying the spell, but when Xander finally catches up with the slayer, he leaves that part out, telling Buffy to kick Angel's ass. Xander's lie is never addressed, and it's hard to believe it would go unnoticed and/or forgiven in today's world.
The Cheating
Xander and Cordelia finally get together and are public with their affections for one another after Cordelia warms up to the idea and puts her ego aside for love. Things seem to be going really well, and Xander finally seems to be happy, but it doesn't last long.
Xander starts to stray from his relationship and finds himself suddenly pining for his best friend, Willow. There are so many problems with Xander and Willow's affair. They would never have been able to get away with it for as long as they did, and viewers struggled to believe they were really that attracted to one another to cheat on the relationships they already had.
His Clothes
Buffy the Vampire Slayer was created in the late '90s and set in present-day, so looking back on the show, there's a lot of 90's nostalgia, especially when it comes to the wardrobe for each character.
The '90s have actually made a come back in recent years, but nothing Xander wears on this show, especially in the early episodes, should ever come back. Xander's nerd-like tendencies are definitely portrayed through his choice in clothing, none of which should be worn today.
Leaving Anya At The Altar
On the day of Xander's wedding to Anya, Xander meets an old man who claims to be his future self. This old man shows Xander his future with Anya, and it doesn't look good. What Xander sees scares him enough to leave Anya at the altar.
In today's world, leaving someone on the day of your wedding is just wrong and unforgivable. The fact that Anya eventually does forgive Xander and they rekindle their romance would also be a stretch for the imagination today.
He Resents Buffy's Powers
Xander complains a lot when it comes to his place in the Scooby gang. He tries to be helpful but normally ends up getting in the way. Buffy has to ask Xander repeatedly to stand down and eventually calls him out for always being a burden when she's trying to fight a new big-bad.
Xander doesn't listen and seems to be insulted by Buffy's claims. Instead of doing what Buffy asks, he talks about her behind her back and plays the victim. A little self-awareness would be required in this situation today.
The Jealousy
Xander can not let his friends be happy. When Buffy or Willow find themselves in a new relationship or falling for someone, Xander always seems to have a negative opinion about the guy they're with.
He never gets along with his friends' boyfriends, and for some reason, his friends are okay with that. If this happened in 2020, Willow and Buffy would most likely stage some sort of intervention to get to the bottom of Xander's inherent jealousy issues.
Superiority Complex
When Xander is in a romantic relationship, whether it be with Anya or Cordelia, he tends to believe he's the smarter, better half, and he isn't afraid to show it. He puts Cordelia down a lot and is incredibly condescending to Anya throughout their relationship.
Neither Cordelia nor Anya ever stand up for themselves while they're with Xander, and he gets away with being a pretty big jerk a lot of the time. Women today are much more empowered, and there's no way a strong woman like Cordelia or a former vengeance demon like Anya would ever let Xander get away with talking to them like that.
The Deflection
Xander never seems to say what he means or what he's actually feeling. Most of what comes out of Xander's mouth is a joke to deflect his current state of emotions. Sometimes, his comedy breaks the tension in the room, but most of the time, it takes away from what's important and allows Xander to put more walls up around his friends.
This character has very few vulnerable moments, which is a shame, because when he does open up, he manages to be a pretty great guy, and even saves the world using his words and feelings in a positive way.