Always quick with a joke, Xander Harris was an integral character on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He lasted the entirety of the show and, more or less, was no worse for wear. His fixation with Buffy did not make him a particularly progressive "Nice Guy," but he was part of the main crew.
Xander made mistakes time and again but the group always held a soft spot for him. Here are five mistakes he made and five reasons the audience had to forgive him.
Felt Bad For Him: Terrible Homelife
Xander’s family was rarely seen on Buffy. The happiest time Xander spent was away from them. His uncle Rory was an alcoholic and Xander spent his Christmases camping outside so he wouldn’t have to hear his parents fighting.
The most they were shown was in season six on the day of Xander's wedding. On that day, Xander took his parents fighting as a sign that he shouldn’t get married.
Hated Him: Cheated On Cordelia
Xander had a habit of making a mess of his relationships. He and Cordelia fell into a courtship after being trapped together with a man made entirely of worms. Cordelia became surprised at how much she cared about Xander. This made it all the more painful when Xander destroyed their relationship.
The most painful part about their breakup was the duplicity. Cordelia and Oz walked in on Xander and Willow kissing. Xander not only hurt Cordelia but Oz as well, who was hurt in the crossfire.
Felt Bad For Him: Giles Never Liked Him
Giles and Xander were never a heavily featured duo. Giles tended to be more appreciative of the intelligence Willow provided or his paternal bond with Buffy. If there was someone Giles had the least in common with, it was Xander.
Giles tolerated Xander at best and found him irritating at worst. Xander was a package deal with Buffy, and Giles had to go as far as to tell Xander not to speak Latin in front of the books as he almost set one on fire.
Hated Him: Slut-Shamed Buffy
Buffy made many mistakes in her romantic entanglements. As a young person in love or lust, she was able to make those decisions and learn from them. Her torrid relationship with Spike, whether a mistake or not, had nothing to do with Xander.
When Xander found out that Spike and Buffy had been sleeping together, he shamed her for it even though he had no right to pass judgment on any of her actions.
Felt Bad For Him: Faith Attacked Him
While everyone was pairing off, Xander was the last of the core three to find someone. Buffy had Angel and Oz had even forgiven Willow after the cheating fiasco. Xander was left alone and hardly appreciated.
Xander's dalliance with Faith gave him a sense of comfort but came at a cost. Faith took his virtue but did not cherish the memory. She kicked him out immediately after it happened and when he came back to talk to her, she almost strangled him.
Hated Him: Felt Entitled To Buffy
For the first few seasons, Xander held a torch for Buffy that was impossible to extinguish. Although she had chosen someone else, Xander could never get his mind off of her.
This caused him to make hurtful mistakes, usually when it concerned his jealousy regarding Angel. Xander never liked Angel but even when he was evil, he could not stop himself from competing with him.
Felt Bad For Him: Lost His Eye
Xander spent seven years of his life supporting Buffy. Through good and bad, he fought alongside her, even when it cost him. In the seventh season, he became a figure of authority after helping to collect potential slayers and training them.
Even when Xander had become the best version of himself, he lost. In the fight against The First, Caleb gouged out Xander’s eye in an act meant to hit Buffy’s army where it hurt.
Hated Him: Responsible For Buffy Killing Angel
Even when Angel lost his soul, Xander still couldn’t help but be jealous of his relationship with Buffy. At the showdown at the end of season two, Willow planned to re-ensoul Angel. Buffy was under the impression that this wasn’t going to happen when she went to fight Angelus.
Willow enlisted Xander to tell Buffy that she may be able to bring the real Angel back; however, Xander never told Buffy. Because of this, she didn't keep Angelus from starting the world-killing ritual. When Angel received his soul back, she had to go through the pain of killing him.
Felt Bad For Him: Anya's Death
Xander and Anya's relationship had many ups and downs. After Xander left her at the altar, she returned to a life of vengeance only for that to be stripped from her. This all led her back to Xander and to fight in the final battle.
Anya died fighting against the agents of The First. Just when Xander had found her, he lost her again permanently.
Hated Him: Left Anya At The Altar
It seemed that Xander had finally found happiness when he met Anya. Though she was new to humanity and acted strangely at times, Anya and Xander fit well together. It seemed only natural they get married.
It took longer than it should have for Xander to realize this. Instead of talking it through like an adult, Xander waited until the last moment to tell Anya he didn’t want to get married.