One of the main hallmarks of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the relationships. They helped keep a show about monsters and ghouls grounded. After moving to Sunnydale, Buffy wound up in a tight-knit group of friends. But Xander and Willow had a friendship before Buffy arrived.

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Of course no friendships are perfect, but it hardly seemed plausible that Willow and Xander had a foundation for friendship before Buffy arrived. There is no accounting for taste, but Willow and Xander's friendship was superficial at best. Here are ten reasons why Willow and Xander are bad for each other.

They Have Nothing In Common

Without the threat of the world ending every week, it is hard to understand what Willow and Xander had to talk about. It seemed that Willow and Xander were the antitheses of each other.

Willow could not help but be the smartest person in the room and Xander was often drawn into the thrall of monsters with no free will of his own. Only in an alternate universe where they were both evil did it seem they enjoyed each other’s company.

Xander Was Oblivious To Willow's Feelings

Willow stares longly at Xander

Since Buffy first moved to Sunnydale, Xander was transfixed. And while this did not appear to be a surprise to Willow, it certainly did hurt her. Willow had been in love with Xander since kindergarten and he never noticed her or given her the time of day.

While Xander could not be expected to help his feelings for Buffy, he certainly did not care enough to understand Willow’s feelings. Or notice them at all.

They Lost Touch After High School

Many things separated the core group in season four. Xander felt ostracized that he was not living on campus with Buffy and Willow. Buffy got many things right with this storyline. Friends often grow apart after going away to college.

Xander was living at home and working odd jobs while Buffy and Willow were still at school. Xander never went back to school and it caused a massive rift that was only repaired when they fight The Initiative.

They Bring Out The Worst In Each Other

Xander and Willow may have known each other the longest, but that is not always a good thing. They often enabled each other’s bad behavior, causing conflict in their own lives.

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That is what led to the dissolution of their respective relationships in season three. They shared a couple of kisses and despite the guilt, Willow and Xander decided to hide their secret from Oz and Cordelia. Once their infidelities came out, it ruined both of their relationships.

Xander Only Pays Attention To Willow When She's With Someone Else

Xander’s affection for Willow was platonic for a long time. But even through friendship, Xander never treated her fairly. This was especially evident when Willow started dating Oz.

Xander was not supportive of the union, finding ways to dislike Oz even though the new courtship was respectful. While Xander’s protectiveness could be a mark of a friend, really it was just selfish that even if Xander didn’t want her, he couldn't stand anyone else having her.

Xander Was Taken For Granted

Xander had no illusion about his life after high school. His only friends would be going to college, though not very far away. It was still shocking how he was treated. Whether it was intentional or not, Xander was often not prioritized.

Through his various jobs and continuing the relationship with an ex-demon, Xander seemed to become more and more irrelevant, even being delegated tasks such as looking after Spike.

Willow Couldn't Tell Xander Had A Doppelganger

Xander was often the subject of bad luck. No more so than when he was hit with a wand blast in season five by the demon Toth. This separated his lesser qualities from his greater ones. While the dysfunctional Xander was running around town missing out, his better half was taking advantage of his life.

Xander had to implore Willow that he was the true Xander, although both Xanders were part of the same whole. It took Willow some time to believe what Xander was telling her was true.

Willow Did Not Support His Relationship With Anya

Willow and Anya in Buffy

Willow always had a complicated relationship with Xander’s girlfriends. That may have been more to do with Xander’s taste than anything else, but she was never shy about sharing it. From bug ladies to mean girls, Xander's dating life was not always easy.

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But when Xander started going steady with ex-demon Anya, Willow not only did not approve of the union but could not respect the newly human Anya. Anya struggled with life as a mortal after 1,000 years of vengeance but still, Willow could not treat her like a person.

They Always Need A Third Person In Their Group

The mythology of Xander and Willow's friendship was often talked about. Friends since kindergarten, it seemed like a foundation for a strong relationship. But in Buffy, that still never seemed to ring true.  It always felt like Xander and Willow needed a third person in the group. The first one was Jesse, who unfortunately died during the pilot.

When Buffy went away from the summer, Willow and Xander struggled to make a cohesive unit. They often found themselves in awkward positions and longed for Buffy to return.

Xander Used Willow

Without Willow, Xander’s life would be much harder. That was the case in high school and many years following it. He had spent most of his adolescence using her for his gain, whether he realized it or not.

Willow had tried to tutor Xander in school and far beyond that. He also needed help in his personal life. He took her for granted and never thought about how much he needed her.

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