On multiple occasions, Buffy the Vampire Slayer promoted harmful ideas about love and romance, but one episode at least addressed the toxic issues portrayed. While the episode was ultimately damaging control, it addressed Buffy’s (Sarah Michelle Gellar) need for self-actualizing love over romantic love. In turn, it showed the power of diverse perspectives on a writing team in creating a sensitive narrative.

Buffy's season 5 romantic subplots weighed particularly heavy on her. After Buffy's college boyfriend Riley Finn (Marc Blucas) accused Buffy of not loving him, he left Sunnydale. Then the evil Vampire Spike (James Marsters) confessed his love for Buffy by kidnapping her and threatening her. Buffy’s feelings about her experiences with these men are explored in Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 5, episode 15, “I Was Made to Love You” written by Jane Espenson. In the episode, Buffy met April (Shonda Farr), a robot invented by Buffy’s former schoolmate Warren Mears (Adam Richard Busch) to be the perfect girlfriend. In the episode, April desperately searched for Warren, who abandoned her for another woman. Buffy tracked down April and stopped her before she accidentally hurt anyone, then comforted her as the batteries died.

Related: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Why Joyce Was Killed Off in Season 5

Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 5, episode 15, “I Was Made to Love You” allowed Buffy to understand she is not solely responsible for her unfortunate romantic past and validated her need for self-actualizing love which is rare in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe. Until this episode, the show's narrative framed Buffy as responsible for her romantic failures. Jane Espenson used this episode to present a different perspective that defended Buffy’s experience. Throughout the episode, Buffy obsessively tried to find a new man to date so she could fix what went wrong in her previous relationships. However, when Buffy met someone designed to be the perfect girlfriend, she realized that her prior romantic troubles were not entirely her fault and she didn't need romantic love to be a complete person.

April And Buffy I Was Made to Love You

Unlike previous episodes, Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 5, episode 15, "I Was Made to Love You" made it explicitly clear that Buffy was not responsible for Spike’s unhealthy obsession with her. In Buffy The Vampire Slayer season 5, episode 14, “Crush”,  several characters suggested Spike’s emotions and actions were Buffy’s responsibility. This toxic idea blamed the victim for their abuser's behavior. However, in the next episode, writer Jane Espenson clearly confronted that toxic idea. When Buffy blamed herself for Spike's infatuation, Xander explicitly told her “The problem is not you.” Xander then insisted that Buffy is a wonderful person and she should be kinder to herself. Oftentimes in the show, Buffy’s friends shamed her for her romantic choices, as they did in season 3 with Angel. However, in this episode, her friends supported and affirmed Buffy as well as defended her from Spike’s unwanted advances.

This episode is also the only instance in the show that held Riley Finn accountable for his actions toward Buffy. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 5, episode 10, "Into the Woods" Riley placed the burden of fixing their relationship entirely on Buffy. He then denied her time and space to cope with his actions and gave her an ultimatum that asked her to devote her entire life to Riley. However, when Buffy met the robot April she faced everything she thought she should have been for Riley and related to her because she finally addressed how she also felt unfairly abandoned by Riley without a proper explanation. April did everything the ideal girlfriend is supposed to do and made her partner the center of her universe, and yet Warren still abandoned her. In the end, Buffy decided embrace her rich and complex life rather than change herself for a man. These healthy ideas about self-affirming love and not accepting responsibility for the terrible actions of other people are not often addressed in the series. However, Buffy the Vampire Slayer had at least one episode where Buffy received proper support from her friends and decided that her happiness is more important than finding a man.

Next: Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Why There's So Many Male Vampires (& Not Females)