With its eclectic mix of humor, drama, action, and horror, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a standout on television in the late '90s and early 2000s. Joss Whedon's story about a girl who discovers she's been specifically chosen to protect the world from supernatural forces not only capitalized on audiences love of monsters, but the emerging shift in television put the concerns of young people at the forefront. Much like The Lost Boys did in the '80s, Whedon utilized horrible monsters to represent the horrors of adolescence, which both teenagers and adults could relate to.
Amidst the action and scares, one of the biggest draws of the series became the love interests in Buffy Summers' life. First there was Angel, a reserved and thoughtful vampire with a soul, troubled by the victims of his past. Then there was Spike, a sarcastic and swaggering vampire with an attitude and a leather duster to match. Each evoked different responses in Buffy and in her fanbase. They often wished she'd choose one already so the question about who her true soulmate was would finally be answered. Whether you're Team Angel or Team Spike, below you'll find out who's truly better for Buffy.
SPIKE: EVEN WITHOUT A SOUL HE'S STILL NOT AS DANGEROUS AS ANGELUS
The only reason Buffy and Angel could come together romantically,was because Angel had a soul. He'd been cursed with it when he was at the height of his killing days as Angelus. Constantly tormented by the souls of the victims he'd claimed, Angel vowed he would never harm another living person.
As soon as Angel's soul leaves him following a night of intense intimacy with Buffy, he's back to his old murderous tricks, putting everyone Buffy loves in danger. Even Spike without his soul/chip was never as dangerous as Angelus.
ANGEL: HE KNOWS HER BEST
Angel is Buffy's first love and the person who may know her the best because of it. He saw her grow in a relatively short amount of time (two seasons), from an innocent teenager to an apocalypse-ending young woman. He saw her embrace her path as The Chosen One, even when it meant his end.
Angel has always been a fixture in Buffy's life, the "one that got away," the one she will always mourn a future with because the present created too many dangerous possibilities. He returned a handful of times throughout the series when she truly needed help, and at the end of the seventh and final season, it was left open-ended whether or not there would be a place for him in her life again.
SPIKE: HE LIKES A STRONG WOMAN
When Angel first met Buffy in Season 1, she was a callow youth just trying to navigate high school and her strange, new abilities. She knew nothing about being The Chosen One, or the ramifications of defending the Hellmouth from the forces of darkness who wished to control it. She looked to Angel for guidance and for validation.
When Spike met Buffy on the other hand, she was already established as the Slayer, and had already saved Sunnydale numerous times. From the moment they met, and throughout their relationship, their antagonistic relationship allowed him to continuously see her strength.
ANGEL: HIS LOVE WITH BUFFY WAS EPIC
There's no denying that the love shared between Buffy and Angel was epic. It was the sort that burns the brightest but not the longest, doomed to go out not with a whimper but a blaze of light. Their feelings were so deep in part because he was her first love, and because she awoke something in him he thought he'd lost forever.
Excusing the violent/aggressive parts of Angel that emerged when he became Angelus once again in Season 2, the scenes shared between him and Buffy were often romantic and tender, such as at the prom, when the world melted away and all they had was each other.
SPIKE: HE KNOWS BUFFY DOESN'T NEED HIM
As Buffy was wont to constantly remind Spike, she didn't need him, nor even like him half the time. She was fully capable of taking care of herself without his help, which made them such a successful team; two competent partners joining together without sacrificing some part of themselves for the process to work.
As far of as the first two seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are concerned, Angel had a tremendous hold on Buffy, mentally and physically. It was only at the conclusion of Season 2 that she did what was necessary to break free of his hold and save Sunnydale, but she didn't want to do it, and never truly got over him.
ANGEL: HE WASN'T AN ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND
As Angelus, Angel did some pretty horrific things. He carelessly broke Buffy's heart, killed Giles' girlfriend — and Willow's fish! — and terrorized Sunnydale. When Angel had his soul, however, he was thoughtful, romantic, and had a true moral center.
Spike, by contrast, even with his chip (which acted as a sort of synthetic "soul" for a while) stalked Buffy throughout Season 4 and 5, manipulated her emotions in Season 6, and did the most unthinkably heinous act a supposed "loving" partner could do to another when he physically violated. By all accounts, Spike had all the behavioral patterns of an abusive boyfriend.
SPIKE: HE KEPT HER MOST IMPORTANT SECRETS
Though Buffy and her friends often viewed Spike as a conceited opportunist, they were occasionally treated to another side of him. This sympathetic and compassion side didn't emerge too often, but that just made its presence more impactful.
When Glory was endeavoring to find "the Key" in Season 5, she didn't realize it was residing in a living vessel — Dawn Summers. Spike knew the secret of the Key's identity, but even after being tortured almost to death by Glory's goons, he never revealed it, ensuring Dawn's safety. Buffy never forgot his sacrifice.
ANGEL: HE PUT HER NEEDS ABOVE HIS OWN
Even though Angel wanted nothing more than to be with Buffy, he ultimately knew their love was doomed. He was a immortal; she wasn't. And not only were the odds against them, being the Slayer and a vampire, they would never be able to achieve physical intimacy, lest Angelus return.
Angel was able to put Buffy's needs before his own and left Sunnydale because it was the best thing for her. Spike, on the other hand, was far more self-serving in his pursuit of any means that let him be with Buffy. He would never leave her side, except in death.
SPIKE: HE UNDERSTANDS HER
After crawling out of her own grave in Season 6, Buffy felt like she was a stranger in her own life. Her family, her friends, her town — everything felt alien. The only other person who could possibly know what it was like to experience what she felt was Spike.
Being undead and having gone through the process of death and resurrection, he empathized with her pain and struggles. He knew what it was like to not fit into his old life, and he helped Buffy explore the possibilities of her new one. He showed her that while nothing would ever be like it was, her new existence could be a chance for a new beginning.
SPIKE: THEY CAN ACTUALLY BE INTIMATE
While physical intimacy doesn't necessarily have to be the cornerstone of a relationship, it's a helpful way to communicate to a partner just how much they mean to you. The very first time Buffy and Angel were intimate, Angel lost his soul, becoming the blood-crazed Angelus who terrorized Sunnydale.
Buffy and Spike got to enjoy — on numerous occasions — the sort of powerful lovemaking that provided fuel to the fire of their passion. They could experience their emotional connection in a way that Buffy never could with Angel, which over time, might have made a future with Angel impossible.