While there are plenty Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans that ship the pairing of Spike and Buffy, there are countless reasons why their relationship didn't work, not to mention that its portrayal often showcased problematic elements and abuse. When it came to couples, the pairing of Spike and his longtime lover Drusilla made more sense in terms of who the characters were.
Unlike Spike and his ill-conceived love for the Slayer, Drusilla clearly returned his affections. Since his siring in 1880, he loyally stayed by her side and cared for her for years. By the time they arrived in Sunnydale, this close-knit pair had already been together for over a hundred years, truly making them a powerhouse of a romantic couple.
Drusilla Returned Spike's Affection In Her Own Way
Despite obviously being a pure villain who loved violence, Dru clearly cared deeply for Spike in her own way and still managed to assist him after he ended up in a wheelchair in season 2. Unfortunately, due to Dru's state of mind, she wasn't consistently able to engage in conversations with Spike the same way he could with her. Still, Spike rarely seemed bothered by her behavior, and even when he upsets her in the episode "Lie to Me," he immediately apologizes, and the two make up.
From the moment they're introduced, it's clear that physical touch is Spike and Drusilla's love language. Who can forget that iconic almost-kiss in their first scene together? On the other hand, Buffy never really returned Spike's affections until the final season and would often call out his shortcomings, putting him down for his being a soulless vampire.
Spike And Drusilla Have A Stronger Connection
By the end of the series, Spike and Buffy have clearly established a close connection. However, the bond between the two wasn't on the same level as the sire bond between Spike and Dru. Drusilla is the one that changed William's life completely, giving him the gift of eternal life, something which Spike was always grateful for.
Not to mention that Dru was alongside him as he evolved from William the Bloody into the punk rock vampire Spike. Being together for so long meant that their bond would always have more depth than the relationship between Spike and Buffy.
Spike and Drusilla Acted Like A Couple
The interactions between Spike and Buffy in season 6 were filled with plenty of toxicity. Still, even though the two were in a physical relationship, Buffy remained adamant that being together sexually did not mean they were in a real romantic relationship. Any affectionate interactions between the two were kept hidden at her insistence.
Even when she finally admitted to Tara that she had an intimate relationship with Spike, Buffy was clearly ashamed and insisted that something must be wrong with her. On the other hand, Spike and Dru are shown as a highly affectionate couple from their first appearance in season 2, with them lovingly embracing each other and Drusilla referring to Spike as her "sweet."
Drusilla Knew Spike Would Develop Feelings For Buffy
It's shown in "Fool For Love" that Dru and Spike have a painful breakup because Dru can tell that Buffy is on Spike's mind due to her psychic abilities. It's also the reason she gives for cheating on him with other demons. Later on in season 5, when Dru returns in "Crush," she says between giggles that she knew about Spike's feelings for Buffy long before he did.
While Dru clearly felt affection for Spike (she wouldn't have stayed with him for over a century if she hadn't), she proved she didn't need him to take care of her when she left him in season 3. Knowing her partner better than he knew himself points to a powerful connection.
Spike and Drusilla Had Amazing Chemistry
While Sarah Michelle Gellar and James Marsters obviously have amazing chemistry in their scenes as Buffy and Spike, nothing can beat the obvious affection between the pair of undead lovers. There are plenty of moments between Spike and Drusilla in season 2 where the onscreen chemistry between Marsters and Juliet Landau is unmistakable.
When the two share scenes together in season 2, they're typically shown in close physical proximity, not to mention the delightful moment in "What's My Line, Part One," where Spike sweeps Dru off the bed and dances around with her.
Drusilla Was Spike's First Relationship
Based on William the Bloody's awkwardness around his crush Cecily in "Fool For Love," it's safe to assume that Drusilla was William's first in many ways. Considering that his human peers openly mocked him and made fun of his poetry, it's also likely that Drusilla was the first woman outside of his mother to make him feel appreciated.
On the other hand, Buffy constantly reminded Spike that he was beneath her (something that Cecily also told him) and even reminded him of all the ways he disgusted her while beating him up outside the police station in the episode "Dead Things."
Spike Was Devoted To Drusilla
There's no mistaking the obvious devotion and personal care which led Spike to look after Drusilla for over a century. His attachment to her obviously stemmed from being sired by her in 1880, something Spike saw as a gift, making him see Dru as his savior.
His strong affection and obvious desire to care for Dru was prevalent in season 2, in addition, to being shown in flashbacks and even repeatedly stated by the vampire himself. On the other hand, Spike's relationship with Buffy in season 6 was typically violent, with physical and mental abuse coming from both parties.
Drusilla Brought Out Spike's Softer Side
When fans of the series are first introduced to Spike in "School Hard," the softer side to this seemingly aggressive punk rock vampire comes out when his beloved sire Drusilla makes her entrance. However, this softer side of Spike is only displayed when Drusilla is present and otherwise remains hidden behind his harsh facade.
On the other hand, Spike's connection with Buffy in season 6 lacks the same level of tenderness as she doesn't want him to show her any gentle affection.
Drusilla Tried To Get Spike Back
Despite parting ways, Drusilla still attempts to reconnect with Spike in season 5's "Crush." Though things ultimately end with Drusilla fleeing Sunnydale, she certainly deserves some recognition for at least trying to patch things up with her former lover. Even though Spike is clearly torn by his affections for the Slayer by this time, he still attempts to go back to Dru, clearly unable to let go of his old relationship completely.
Even when he offers to stake Drusilla to prove his love for Buffy, he states how much Dru still means to him, describing how she shaped who he became.
Spike and Drusilla's Relationship Outlasted A Lifetime
While Spike clearly felt that he knew Buffy better than she did herself (based on his speech to her in "Touched"), he actually only knew her for about five years by the series' end. On the other hand, Spike had been with Drusilla since she sired him in 1880, which means by the time Spike first met Buffy in 1998, he'd already been with Dru for over a hundred years.
He even stated to Joyce, while heartbroken over Dru, that their love was meant to be literally eternal. Obviously, both vampires had their flaws, but somehow the love-obsessed former poet and the psychic vampire managed to make things work in a way that Spike and Buffy never could.