Broad City: Top 10 Ilana Wexler Quotes

Broad City has officially come to an end, and fans are still sobbing from the finale. How are we to make it through this end of an era? What will we do without Ilana's hilariously altered pronunciations of basic words? How will we survive without Abbi's insistence that she is NOT, in fact, a Mom? Hell, we're even gonna miss Bevers!

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So to honor the final episode of the funniest/most heartwarming show of all time, let's take a look at some of the top 10 quotes from one of the most memorable Qwueens on the show, the one and only Ilana Wexler!

10 "My Frond To The Ond."

"My friend to the end" in English translation. There is nothing in the world Ilana Wexler values more than her friendships, especially when it comes to her friendship with Abbi. Ilana has known Abbi for years, yet still manages to remind her every day how much of a witch qwueen goddess she is with "chocolate brown eyes and an ass of an angel."

While others might search their whole lives for a romantic partner, Ilana feels complete in her friendship with Abbi and she couldn't hope for anything more. We could only dream about having a friend as loving and supportive as Ilana.

9 "In Da Clerb, We All Fam."

Ilana: In da clerb, we all fam.

Abbi: What?

Ilana: In da clerb, we all fam!

Abbi: What?

Ilana: In the club, we're all family! God, are you racist?!

This is one of the funniest lines on the show and something that fans of Broad City love to shout out whenever they're at the club. Again, this is another classic example of Ilana Wexler creating her own unique pronunciation of words that perfectly sum up her character as a whole. Plus, her constant need to create a bond with every person in New York City is apparent here where she feels connected to everyone around her, even complete strangers. In Ilana's eyes, strangers are just family members that you haven't met yet!

8 "You Must Swipe Yas, You Cannot Swipe Nas."

"You must swipe yes, you cannot swipe no" in English Translation.

In this episode, Abbi decides to use the dating app, Bumble. She ends up finding her old High School teacher on the app and can't decide whether or not it would be too weird to swipe right on him. Ilana, being the queen of adventure, decides that Abbi should definitely do it. Ilana is always able to help others live their life to the fullest and this is just one of the many examples of her doing that. The date doesn't go exactly as planned for Abbi, but luckily she has Ilana around to save the day for her.


Oh, Ilana. We have always admired how open you are able to be with your innermost desires and your ability to pronounce certain words in the weirdest fashion.

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In this episode, Abbi and Ilana realize that they have been spending all of their time online. Disgusted by how anti-social they have become from staring at a screen all day, they decide to get all old fashioned and actually step out into the sunlight of the great outdoors. Abbi asks how they are supposed to get boys if they don't have Tinder to use because they've decided to abandon all forms of technology for the day. Ilana suggests they simply shout WANNA FOOK at the boys they come across at the park. Only Ilana Wexler!

6 "Never Have I Ever Read A Newspaper."

Ilana: Never have I ever read a newspaper.

Lincoln: Really? Even homeless people read newspapers.

This just goes to show how millennial of a show Broad City is. A lot of the show is a satirical look at the way millennials go about life, and doing something as simple as reading a newspaper is something the generation just isn't familiar with. This quote also goes along with Ilana's character as a whole.

Although she wants to be fully aware of all the social issues the world is currently facing in a noble attempt to fix them, she can sometimes come across as oblivious. She is trying her best to make a real change though, and we think that counts for a lot.

5 My Biggest Weakness Is That I Lose My Purse A Lot

"My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot, But then my biggest strength is that I always get it back."

The funniest part about this line is that in the scene, Ilana is the one who is interviewing others yet she is still answering the interview questions herself. I think Ilana has a lot of more powerful strengths than finding her purse after losing it, but it is definitely an admirable strength to have.

4 "My Two Favorite Things: Hamburgers and Abbi"

Broad City Abbi Jacobson Ilana Glazer

Lincoln: Ohh, so you bought the drawing.

Ilana: Mhm, two of my favorite things.

Lincoln: Art and Abbi?

Ilana: Um, hamburgers and Abbi.

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In this episode, Ilana buys Abbi's artwork. The art piece is a drawing Abbi has made of a hamburger. Ilana will do anything to help her best friend out, especially when it comes to her passion for art. She will even buy a 17 dollar drawing of a hamburger just to make her friend feel like her art matters. There's nothing more valuable than a friend who actively supports your deepest passions.

3 "This Is What Living On The Edge Looks Like!"

In this episode, Ilana and Abbi are out at a seafood restaurant to celebrate Abbi's 26th birthday. This isn't just any old seafood restaurant, though. Beyonce and Jay-Z ate there once!

During the dinner, Ilana wants her best friend's birthday to go perfectly. In an effort to keep the night alive, Ilana eats all of the seafood ordered despite the fact that she's insanely allergic to it. As a result, her face becomes utterly swollen and she can barely see anymore because of the swelling in her eyes. But no need to fret! It's just what living on the edge looks like. More proof right here that Ilana will literally risk dying to make sure that her friend has a successful night. Admittedly, her attempts to make Abbi feel good often go way too far, but we so appreciate her effort and we know Abbi does as well.

2 "Ben Affleck Was Homeless For A Night For A Charity..."

Abbi: We're technically homeless right now.

Ilana: Ben Affleck was homeless for a night for a charity... we're, like, doing that, just involuntarily.

Abbi: Yeah, we're just a regular Matt and Ben...

In this episode, Ilana and Abbi are locked out of their apartment and must experience life without a place to live. Homeless, they end up eating garbage bagels even though it has only been a few hours spent on the streets. Ilana attempts to put a positive spin on the situation by suggesting that she and Abbi are just doing what celebrities have done before despite the fact that the two of them are doing it involuntarily. Classic Ilana, always trying to see the good in everything!

1 "Dude, I Would Follow You Into Hell Brother!"

Ilana: Dude, I would follow you into hell, brother!

Abbi: I would take you on my shoulders, like, I'd strap you up and be like, "Let's go through hell!"

This is said in the pilot episode of Broad City after Abbi and Ilana go through extraneous lengths just to score Lil' Wayne concert tickets. By extraneous lengths, I mean cleaning the apartment of a man who thinks he's a baby, played hilariously by Fred Armisen.

Ilana will do literally anything for Abbi and vice versa, including following each other into hell. That is pure unconditional love. Ilana and Abbi's relationship has taught so many people to appreciate friendship in the same sort of way that these two are able to. We are going to miss Broad City so much. Even though the show has sadly come to an "ond," fans will continue to quote the phrases of Ilana Wexler for years to come.

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