Bridget Jones's Diary is a celebrated romantic comedy. The film, which covers a year in the life of a struggling 30-something, has become iconic in the 20 years that it's been out. The characters of Mark Darcy, Daniel Cleaver, and Bridget Jones herself, have remained super memorable, as have many of their quotes.
As Bridget Jones's Diary is a comedy, these best quotes are often hilarious. Almost every line in the film gets a chuckle, but some manage to stand out for just how funny they are, and they deserve to be discussed.
Bridget Jones
"Nothing Can Distract Me From My Dedication To The Pursuit Of Truth. Well, Almost Nothing. I'll Just Pop To The Shop Quickly For Some Ciggies."
Bridget was a woman of many vices, including cigarettes, and her addiction to them allowed for many jokes throughout the movie. This joke, in particular, showed how far her addiction went. She had finally been given the chance to report on the political scoop of the year, and she is adamant that she is fully up for the role.
However, the quote continues on and undercuts her dedication hilariously, as her need for cigarettes overshadows what, to everyone else, is a very important trial. This skewing of priorities is what makes Bridget so funny, and it's why this quote is so memorable for its hilarity.
Pam Jones
“Frankly Darling, If I Had The Chance Again, I Wouldn't Have Had Children.”
Bridget's mom, Pam, definitely had some quotes that seemed shocking coming out of her properly dressed and sweet-faced self, and this one is no different. The line itself is a bit ironic as she seems to be hell-bent on setting Bridget up to meet a potential husband in Mark Darcy and have her live a life of typical domesticity, yet she basically says here that she regretted the whole thing.
She definitely isn't the most maternal of parents. But while her mom is undoubtedly insensitive to the feelings of others, she is responsible for Mark and Bridget meeting again, which is one of the overall best rom-com meet-cutes.
Bridget Jones
“If Staying Here Means Working Within 10 Yards Of You, Frankly, I'd Rather Have A Job Wiping Saddam Hussein's Arse.”
Bridget's type of humor generally relied on her making a fool of herself, but she did have moments that showcased her wit. This includes a moment when she quits her job after being cheated on by Daniel. Daniel begs her to stay, but Bridget responds with this line.
The quote is not only topical for the time, but its shocking vulgarness also lends to its hilarity. Bridget practically gets a standing ovation for saying it, and it's good to see a joke finally made at Daniel's expense, rather than the joke always being on Bridget.
Daniel Cleaver
“The F.R. Leavis Who Died In 1978?”
Daniel had many bad attributes, but no one can deny how witty he could be. This is showcased in a moment where he effortlessly calls Bridget's bluff after she lies and states that she was on the phone to writer F.R. Leavis and not one of her friends.
Daniel humorously plays along with her charade at first, until he pulls out the aforementioned quote. Bridget is gobsmacked, and the shock of him knowing that she was lying is enough to make any audience member laugh. Daniel's great deadpan delivery also shows why Bridget Jones' Diary is one of the best Hugh Grant rom-coms.
Mark Darcy
“I Have To Say, This Really Is The Most Incredible Sh*t.”
Mark Darcy was generally known for being uptight and stiff, so whenever he said anything that strayed away from that characterization, it was very funny. This includes a moment when they are eating Bridget's birthday dinner that she cooked herself. The meal involves blue soup and other failed dishes.
The characters jokingly poke fun at her culinary skills, and Mark states the aforementioned quote. It comes almost out of nowhere and makes everyone in the scene burst out laughing. His attempts to praise Bridget, who he has fallen in love with, while also making fun of her, is a perfect development for their relationship and a very funny moment.
Bridget Jones
"It Doesn't Help That Underneath Our Clothes, Our Entire Bodies Are Covered In Scales."
The film arguably puts too much emphasis on women's need to get married, but there are also moments where the film challenges this notion. At a dinner party, where Bridget is the only person to come alone, she is dogged with questions about why she and other women her age are far more likely to be unmarried than women of the past.
It's a very uncomfortable moment for Bridget, but she plows on and deflects the question by stating that it's due to women like her having scales for skin. The joke doesn't quite land with the other party guests, but it's very funny to the audience.
Mark Darcy
"Happy Birthday, Dear Whatshisname"
This quote happens during what is arguably the funniest part of the whole film -- the fistfight between Daniel and Mark. One tackles the other and they crash into a restaurant where a family is celebrating a teenage boy's birthday.
The men suddenly stop in their tracks, and they begin to awkwardly sing along with the "Happy Birthday" song. Mark, ever the prude, tries to save face but fails to do so when he doesn't know the name of the birthday boy, so he mumbles "Whatshisname." This moment proves that Mark can be just as awkward as Bridget, which is why they're one of the most wholesome rom-com couples.
Tom
"Well, Quick! It's A Real Fight!"
Bridget's hilarious friends are one thing that each Bridget Jones movie has in common. One of these friends, Tom, becomes super excited when a fight breaks out between Mark Darcy and Daniel Cleaver, which has them battling for both Bridget's affection and also settling some past beef between them.
While Bridget is horrified at them fighting, Tom runs into a nearby restaurant and starts yelling at them all to come and see. What makes this quote even funnier is that Tom is really bigging up the fight, when in actuality, Daniel and Mark are just flailing about and it's hardly a "real" fight.
Daniel Cleaver
“I Can't Stop Thinking About You And Thinking About What An Idiot I've Been. Christ, Is That Blue Soup?”
Daniel was always slimy, but sometimes that sliminess created genuinely funny moments. For example, there is a moment where Daniel bursts into Bridget's apartment, begging for her to take him back after he cheated on her. He wails dramatically until he is suddenly distracted by the blue soup that Bridget had made earlier.
This quote is funny because it's such a dramatic juxtaposition to his usual composed self and perhaps hints to the audience that Daniel is nowhere near as heartbroken as he is currently claiming to be. Whether or not he is, his quote still manages to be very humorous.
Shazzer
"Passport, Bridget. And Pants!"
Bridget was always known as having a less than perfect lifestyle, and this often came in the form of her having trouble with her underwear. From the granny pants she wears when spending a night with Daniel to running after Mark in the snow in nothing but her underwear, trouble with "pants" is a part of Bridget's character.
So when she and her friends are heading off to Paris for the weekend, Shazzer makes sure to remind Bridget to bring pants. It's a hilarious callback to the previous jokes in the film and the statement juxtaposes the supposed sophistication that a weekend trip in Paris should bring them.