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Bob’s Burgers: 10 Most Hilarious Teddy Quotes

Bob’s Burgers is a comedy filled with hilarious one-liners and situational humor. While most fans are aware of the distinct personalities of the different members of the Belcher family, many of the side characters are really funny, too. Other than the five Belchers, Uncle Teddy is the character on the show who shows up the most. He's basically family even though he’s not related, and his earnest personality and love of burgers makes him the perfect friend and supporter.

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We’ve collected a list of 10 of the best and funniest Teddy quotes from Bob’s Burgers.

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Teddy and Linda in Bob's Burgers
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10 THIS WILL EITHER BE FUN OR TERRIBLE

Teddy and Linda in Bob's Burgers

Teddy is usually a fairly optimistic guy, but, just like all of us, he has his moments. The Belchers and Teddy often don’t have things go their way, so it’s understandable that sometimes Teddy would be a little unsure about how things are going to turn out.

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This quote is also really relatable as sometimes it seems like things are going to turn out either super great or super awful. Luckily, Teddy usually bounces back from things pretty quickly.

9 DON’T FEED A GUY A SPONGE, BOBBY!

One of the most lovable things about Teddy is how much he loves the food Bob makes. He’s always at the restaurant to get a burger of the day and is their most loyal customer. But, as Bob points out in one episode, Teddy will eat practically anything Bob puts in front of him. He proves this point by giving Teddy a bit of a sponge to eat, which Teddy eats without question prompting him to exclaim this hilarious line.

8 I CAN FIX IT!

Teddy might seem like he spends most of his time hanging around the restaurant, but for work, he is a handyman. Teddy can fix almost anything, and he does a lot of different jobs around the restaurant and town leading to a lot of hilarious situations.

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This small quote could sum up the character in general. While Teddy might not get everything right all the time, he is all about fixing things, and he definitely always tries his best.

7 SHE’S GOT INTERESTING COLLAR BONES AND A PERFECT FOREHEAD

In the episode, “Housetrap”, Teddy has a crush on a woman named Helen. He spends time taking care of her house in Crazy Neck. The best thing about Teddy’s crush on her is how sweet he is about the whole thing. While most people might compliment someone on their eyes or hair, Teddy takes a more unique approach. He compliments her by noting her collarbones and forehead. While this might seem kind of strange, it actually shows that Teddy pays attention to a lot of things and doesn't see the world how many people do.

6 I GOT PRETTY DRUNK AT BRUNCH THIS MORNING...

I GOT PRETTY DRUNK AT BRUNCH THIS MORNING... DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN HAVE VODKA IN A BLOODY MARY?

Teddy might not always be the brightest bulb in the box, but this is one of the things about him that is so endearing. He sometimes misses the most obvious of things. Such as with this quote where he doesn't realize that Bloody Marys are made with vodka. While he might not always be super smart or on top of things, it definitely would be an entertaining time to go to brunch with Teddy, especially if Linda also tagged along.

5 WHY DO MEN HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING? WHAT’S WITH US?

Teddy is also known for exclaiming things with a lot of passion. He is a very endearing person, and he says things with a lot of feeling. With this quote, he laments on a patriarchal society.

Although the quote really isn’t that deep, it’s definitely one of his most quotable lines from the show, and it’s super funny. Overall, Teddy is a really great guy though, so he can’t be faulted too much on being a man that ruins everything.

4 WHOOPS, THERE I GO AGAIN! DIVULGING AMAZING SECRETS

Another relatable thing about Teddy is that he also likes to share gossip and spill the tea. He and Linda often get along really well, and when Bob is busy being neurotic, they have lots of time together to talk about the latest gossip. While Teddy really isn’t that great at sharing secrets and isn't as clever as he thinks he is, this quote is really funny and definitely shows that Teddy is super likable.

3 SHE’S JUST A MIXED UP KID...

SHE’S JUST A MIXED UP KID WHO’S GOING THROUGH A LOT OF PUBERTY RIGHT NOW. AM I RIGHT, TINA?

Another reason to love Teddy is because of how much he cares about the Belchers. The Belchers might not realize it, but they need Teddy just as much as he needs them. While Teddy might not be the best baby sitter around, he definitely cares about the Belcher kids and wants to protect and look out for them. When Tina gets in trouble for sneaking out of the house and trying to break into a lighthouse, Teddy defends her actions in a funny way. Tina, Gene, and Louise are definitely lucky to have someone like Teddy watching their backs.

2 HIS NAME IS BOB BURGER

This moment might be one of Teddy’s funniest. In season three, episode 15, Gene finds a special toilet in the woods and tries to save it from the bad guy who is looking for it. This leads to this funny interaction where Teddy explains to “Max Flush” that Bob is named Bob Burger.

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Bob is of course dumbfounded by the fact that Teddy doesn’t know his last name but thinks his name is the same as the restaurant. Teddy definitely misses a lot of points, but at least he makes everyone laugh.

1 SEE? I’M IN GREAT SHAPE...

SEE? I’M IN GREAT SHAPE. GREAT ENOUGH FOR BURGERS. LET’S GET BURGERS.

In the episode, “Friends with Burger-fits,” Bob tries to help Teddy get in better shape since he feels responsible for Teddy’s poor health. While Bob might try to act like he doesn't care much about Teddy, he clearly does. Their friendship is endearing, and Teddy’s love of burgers is even more so.

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