Content warning: This article discusses instances of suicide.
Bloods, the British comedy series about paramedics in London, just released the first half of the second season on Hulu, and it's as funny as ever. The show stars Jane Horrocks as Wendy and Samson Kayo as Maleek. They might look familiar because Horrocks became famous as Bubble on Absolutely Fabulous and Kayo currently stars in Our Flag Means Death.
The ensemble cast is all quite hilarious and quotable, especially Jo the hub commander played by Lucy Punch. Though the show uses some British slang and is quick-witted, it's laugh-inducing at every turn.
Wendy Tells Maleek Drug Addicts Are People Too
"Everyone's Got A Talent. Some Of The Best Records Were Made By Druggies, Weren't They?"
At the show's start, Maleek accidentally defibs his partner who decides not to return to work. Maleek likes to pretend he tough as the gangs of London. Sweet, chipper Wendy is hired as the replacement, much to Maleek's disappointment. But Wendy works hard to get on his good side.
While taking care of a drug addict who cut himself, Wendy works hard to find the man's humanity casually chit-chatting while annoying Maleek. But Wendy won't give up and is very happy to find out the poor guy can play the harmonica, except he sold the instrument for crack.
Maleek Hates Hearing About Wendy's Sex Life
"Tinder Again? You Proper Wanna Get Chopped Up And Put In A Spliff, Innit?"
Maleek cringes every time he hears the Tinder app chime on Wendy's phone. He doesn't want to have to think about his partner having sex. But sweet little Wendy is an open book and will talk about finding a man with big hands whether Maleek can handle it or not.
So when an air ambulance pilot starts texting her, Maleek freaks out because it's the same guy who's going to see if he has what it takes to join the team. Unfortunately, Maleek doesn't have any of what it takes. He does however have a fear of heights, which is a big problem.
Jo Tries Too Hard To Flirt With Lawerence
"If I Was Stuck With A Big Fanny Like You All Day, I Might Get The Sleeping Pills Out Myself."
Jo has a big old crush on Lawerence played by Julian Barratt (The Mighty Boosh, Flowers), one of her EMTs who recently lost his wife. He's too busy grieving the loss of the love of his life to notice Jo's extremely awkward attempts at flirtation.
In one scene, Lawerence is at a home with a dead man who took his own life with sleeping pills and reports in with Jo by walkie-talkie. She offers to assist him a bit too eagerly and tries to joke with this awkward quote. Fortunately, Lawerence ignores it and moves on. But that doesn't reduce the cringe level.
Gary's Worried About Kareshma
"Is Everything OK? Do You Need A Chockie Bikkie?"
Gary and Kareshma are another pair of paramedics from South Hill, and they aren't the greatest match. He's a wimpy middle-aged white man and she is a young, blunt woman of color. So when they arrive at the hospital and Kareshma seems to get timid, Gary is doing his best to understand what's going on.
The problem is that the attending ER doctor is Kareshma's twin sister and the two do not get along at all. Her sister holds her degree over Kareshma's head, calling Kareshma's job "Uber with aspirins." The normally confident paramedic doesn't handle her sister's taunting too well. It worries sweet Gary, who offers her a cookie to help her feel better.
Maleek And Wendy Deliver A Baby In The Subway
"I Don't Want To Have This Baby On The Tube! That Is Not Part Of The Birth Plan!"
Maleek loses his mojo after his dad dies, but when he and Wendy arrive on the scene of a woman in labor on a train car, he has to find it again. He has to convince the trash collector to stop collecting so they can birth the baby. He's got to stop passengers from boarding.
When the woman realizes that a shoulder is stuck, Wendy and Maleek step up and make sure that the baby makes it with Jo and the entire team cheering them on via walkie-talkie. According to Maleek, it's like getting the last Pringle out of the tube.
Jo Hates George
"Enough Clapping, Numbnuts. Back To Work."
The new character of George gets introduced in the first episode of the second season and it's immediately made clear by Jo that she doesn't like the woman at all. Jo doesn't feel that a mental health specialist is needed for her crew and that George will just get in the way of the team doing their jobs.
So at a team meeting, Jo explains why George is there and lets her say a few words before cutting her off with this quote. George soon realizes that she's got her work cut out for her with the control freak hub commander. The two verbal sparing is one of the highlights of the new season.
Darrell Gets Mail
"It's Like A Text Message, But On Paper."
Darrell loves getting mail, but in this case, it's not the best news. He's Australian, he finds out that his visa is about to expire. Darryl and he are very distraught. They are such close work friends, and throughout the series show how symbiotic they are, finishing each other's sentences, socializing outside of work, making one another gifts.
They decide they'll have to find a woman to marry Darrell who begins to ask every single woman he knows who has British DNA, as he puts it. When that fails, the two realize that there's marriage equality and they can marry each other! The only problem there is that it might upset Darryl's fiancee.
Kareshma And Gary Treat A Young Patient
"It's my mum. She's In Deep F---ing Denial, And She's A Keep Calm And Carry On Mug In Jeggings. But I'm Not Calm. I'm F----ing Furious!"
The two arrive at the house of teenage Tasha who has Hodgkin's lymphoma. She's got a fever but refuses to go to the hospital, so Gary and Kareshma have to get creative in their convincing. Eventually, Kareshma actually has the nerve to threaten to burn Tasha's favorite zines.
Upon returning for a second call at a later date, both Gary and Kareshma are nervous about revisiting this feisty teen. She's intentionally pulled out her IV so she can go to the hospital and get away from her mom. This is where the quote comes from, both poignant and funny.
Spencer Avoids Work
"Not Now, Mum. I'm Busy Using My White Privilege For Good. You Should Try It Sometime."
At the end of season one, Wendy's son shows up at her station saying that she just walked out on their family. In season two, Spencer has stayed in London and is mooching off his mother. Eventually, she demands he get a job. To her surprise, he asks Jo for work and she gives it to him: restocking the ambulances.
When Spencer gets on Jo's nerves, as he does to everybody, she sends him on a ride-along with Maleek and Wendy. At the site of a car accident, Wendy asks him to get supplies from the rig and he refuses with this quote. The brat's busy recording the cop who shows up at the scene just standing there.
Maleek Gets Frustrated Working On A Holiday
"I Wish This Was Like A New Year's In Nottingham. You're All Sat Round And Drank Mead In The Forest. But It's LDN."
It's New Year's Eve and London is going bonkers — alcohol poisoning, overdoses, brawls — and the South Hill paramedics have to deal as best they can. Maleek and Wendy are called to a fantastic party for a guy who's a bit coked up, but he won't leave to be checked out.
So Maleek and Wendy hang out trying to figure out what to do. Maleek pretends to take a shot but Wendy is convinced he's drinking and gets angry. That's when Maleek lets out his frustration. And lo and behold, he meets a beautiful woman who asks him out.