Netflix's Bling Empire is the latest "rich people on reality TV" series and it's giving fans the escapism that they want. The cast is composed of Asian and Asian-American friends who live in Los Angeles and spend money like it’s growing on the trees in their backyards. The outrageously wealthy cast is made up of some pretty interesting billionaires, including Kane Lim, and each of the show's stars goes through emotional dramas that unfold during the episodes. There's Christine Chiu's angst over the idea of having another child via surrogate, and Kim Lee's search for the father she hasn't seen since she was eight. Then, there's the drama between Kelly Mi Li and her very angry boyfriend, Andrew Gray. However, the most interesting of all the characters is also the oldest, Madame Anna Shay.
The eccentric daughter of billionaire Edward Shay is pure reality TV gold. Her money comes from the company her father started in 1955, Pacific Architects & Engineers. That lucrative firm was sold to Lockheed Martin in 2006 for $1.2 billion. However, Anna is more than a billionaire heiress. Her son Kenny has a collection of glass pipes worth half a million dollars, she plays the piano beautifully, and she dresses her dogs in diamonds. This queen bee is the master of the power play and has a way with words. The manner in which she curls her lips into a wry smile and speaks at barely a whisper makes her dropped nuggets of unexpected and hilarious wisdom all the more impactful.
“There ain’t no d*ck that good.”
The first time we see Anna, she’s wearing a strapless red gown and diamonds and taking a sledgehammer to her closet, as Kane explains that her family money comes from the weapons business. In her interview, she says, “I think it’s important to have fun.” Twenty minutes later, she’s dressed as a flight attendant on her Air France flight to Paris, just for kicks. Clearly, Anna was being showcased because she's a cast member who's well worth watching.
On the trip to Paris, she proved she wasn’t just fun. She showed she is a Queen of Reality TV. In Paris, Anna heard Kelly Mi Li’s boyfriend Andrew Gray verbally assault Kelly on the phone. Andrew Gray is a former Red Power Ranger with serious anger issues. He got mad at Kelly for leaving him alone in their hotel. She'd left him because he was sleeping. When he woke up alone, he called and screamed at Kelly, in a way that made fans recoil in fear. Anna kept her cool and gave viewers facts. She said, “There ain’t no d*ck that good.” The mother/aunt/best friend/therapist/QUEEN that Bling Empire fans had been waiting for had finally arrived. Later, while counseling Kelly on the Andrew situation, Anna had this to say about marriage, “I’ve been married four times. I had great marriages and great divorces.” Preach on it, Anna.
“…she cannot compete with what I was born into.”
She had more choice words to say about competition in her social circle. After “Necklacegate,” Christine invited Anna to her house for a girls' night in, to ask her why she was sat at the opposite end of the table from the group during Anna’s dinner. We all knew Christine was moved so that she wouldn’t be anywhere near Anna, but Anna refused to admit to anything. Instead, Christine made a lot of awkward comments about Anna's ready-to-wear Dior jacket. They then argued about whether Boucheron or Mellerio was the oldest family-owned jeweler in Paris. Christine was upset that Anna refused to take her bait.
Through it all, Anna kept her wits about her, smiled, and said, “I do find it odd that [Christine] wants to compete with me, but she cannot compete with what I was born into.” Though her mother raised her with strict rules about being a lady, Anna confessed, with a simple "hmm" and shoulder shrug, “my God, Christine is a f*cking pain in the a*s.” The confidence, the brilliance... Anna, we bow to you!
“No, I don’t get sponsored… Call Christine for that.”
Then, Anna got quotable again on the topic of gifts. Model Kevin Kreider dropped by Anna’s to “return” the extremely expensive Dior shoes and shirt she’d given him. When Kevin asked if Anna had paid for the shoes, or if they’d been comped in a sponsorship situation, Anna, who was casually dripping in diamonds, looked him dead in the eye and said, “No, I don’t get sponsored… Call Christine for that.” The brilliance of that burn leaves smoke for days. Kevin was still so torn up over the expensive gifts that Anna had to drop even more wisdom on the poor kid. She told him, “Don’t be impressed by things… I don’t get impressed by things, but by people and who they are.” Now, that’s a lesson too many people never, ever learn.
"Kim doesn’t belong in my world."
Kim and Guy rudely went through Anna’s home without permission and stumbled upon a penis pump in her shower, and then crassly threw that penis pump out of her window. After that, they refused to even apologize. Anna again stayed calm. She told Kim it was rude to go through people’s homes and then told us, “Kim doesn’t belong in my world.” Oh, the truth of that cut. The class of that cut! Then it got better. At a bowling alley, Anna told the unrepentant Kim, “If no one taught you, I’m gonna tell you… Your actions can hurt other people.” Kim still didn’t register that lesson, but it didn’t matter, as Anna won again.
"…the people who talk about sex are the people who don’t have it."
At a leather and plastic party, Christine tried to call Anna out for being “anally-enthusiastic” and for knowing more secrets in the bedroom because she’s old. Anna casually rolled her eyes and said, “… the people who talk about sex are the people who don’t have it… there’s no reason to be jealous.” Take your shade down the block, Christine. There’s no room for it here. Bye!
Anna Shay, don’t ever stop dropping your hilarious brilliance. We love you more with each and every word you utter. If there is a case to be made for a Bling Empire season 2, it's giving the people what they want (even though some of them think the show is scripted), which is more Anna!
Bling Empire is now streaming on Netflix