Aside from their mutual love for take-out food and comic books, there's one more thing the main characters of The Big Bang Theory all have in common: upsetting childhoods. Penny's dad wanted her to be a boy; Howard's dad left the family; Leonard's mom used him as her guinea pig; Sheldon's dad had a drinking problem; Amy's mom sheltered her; Raj's parents threw money at him; Bernadette's mom gave her too much responsibility as a kid.
With Howard and Bernadette being the only parents out of their friend-group, they too started making questionable parenting choices that viewers couldn't get behind.
Beverly Used Leonard For Her Book
As a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author, saying Beverly Hofstadter is intelligent would be an understatement. However, her love of science is so great that she put it in front of her kids.
As a mother of three, Beverly used her children as guinea pigs to see how each would thrive in a particular setting. With Leonard, she was cold and aloof to him as a way to establish independence. She belittled him at home and in public so that he would grow a tough skin. What Leonard really wanted was an affectionate mother who told him she was proud of him, but Beverly saw that as pointless. She used her studies of Leonard as the main focus of her book: Needy Baby, Greedy Baby.
Bernadette's Nursery
When Bernadette is pregnant with her first child, she's excited but has a bundle of nerves. Bernadette never saw herself as the maternal type and wasn't even sure she wanted to have kids. When it was finally time, she began to question her role as a mother.
Raj tried getting Bernadette excited about her little one and tried planning the baby's nursery. When he asked her what nursery theme she had as a child she said it was similar to a crime scene. Her nursery doubled as her father's office. With her father being a former police officer, she said there were pictures of homicides on her walls.
Mrs. Fowler's Sin Closet
When Amy became closer with Penny and Bernadette, she started opening up more about her childhood. She said a few upsetting things about her mother but one of the worst was her mother's "sin closet."
While Amy is trying on earrings after piercing her ears, she explained to the girls that if her mother saw her at that moment she'd lock her up in the sin closet. It's then that the girls realized Amy didn't tell her mom personal details about her life for fear of being judged or reprimanded (even though Amy is a bright and independent adult).
Howard's Mom Made Him Feel Bad For Living His Life
As hilarious as it is watching Howard's relationship with his mother, viewers can't deny how upsetting it is. Mrs. Wolowitz needs Howard to feel whole and makes him feel bad when he's not at home. In return, Howard resents his mother for making him so dependent on her. Howard loves his mother and would do anything for her, which is why Mrs. Wolowitz got away with demanding so many things from him.
When Mrs. Wolowitz passed away, it was hard for Howard to cope without her. It had always been the two of them and now that Howard didn't have her, it was hard to be an adult.
Bernadette's Mother Smoked While She Was Pregnant
Viewers see Bernadette's father far more than her mother, but the few times she did appear, she was very quiet and reserved. This contradicts how Bernadette described her upbringing. Bernadette claimed her mother ran an illegal daycare and had Bernadette babysit her crazy siblings. Furthermore, Bernadette blamed her short stature on the fact that her mother smoked while she was pregnant. Not only is smoking during pregnancy harmful for both mama and baby but Bernadette had so much responsibility as a kid that she didn't have a chance to be one herself.
If Leonard Is Needy, Beverly Made Him That Way
Due to Beverly's parenting techniques, Leonard grew up to be needy and a tad whiny. He craved affection, adoration, and praise from Penny because he never got it as a child from his mother. However, one fan pointed out that if Beverly was aiming for a less needy child, her science was incredibly wrong.
As the fan told Reddit, "Every time Leonard's mother refers to him as 'So Needy,' she is pointing out her own failure as an expert in her field of early childhood development." They continued saying, "If she truly knew what she was doing, she would have met his needs during his developmental stages, and he wouldn't be so needy now."
Howard & Bernadette Shouldn't Have Left Their Kids With Stuart
In the series finale, the gang flew to Stockholm for Sheldon and Amy's Nobel Prize acceptance. After much deliberation, Howard and Bernadette decided to leave their kids with Stuart and Denise so they could have some time alone. Once they were in Stockholm, the couple realized they made a terrible decision. They couldn't relax knowing they were so far away from their kids and Stuart wasn't able to control Halley and Michael. Halley fell down the stairs, lost her tooth, and Michael had a fever.
The real question is, why didn't they leave their children with Bernadette's parents? Her mother has raised children and ran a daycare in the past; she certainly would have been a safer choice than Stuart.
Mrs. Fowler Was Psychologically Controlling
There's a reason why Amy wasn't close with her mother and it's because of her controlling nature. Amy wanted to please her parents, sure, but she also wanted to live a life of freedom. Her mother lived in fear and wanted her daughter to be safe and sheltered. Amy wasn't allowed to watch Grease because it might encourage her to "join a gang." She wasn't allowed to eat bananas vertically because it wasn't what "good girls" did. She wasn't even able to join school musicals. Amy hid a large part of her life from her mother and it's easy to see why.
Howard's Inability To Parent
To be fair to Howard, he didn't have a father growing up during important parts of his life, so he never knew what a father did and what kind of father he'd like to be. However, Howard seemed to care more about his game nights with his buddies than about being a dad. Bernadette had to practically bribe Howard to do any kind of housework and the same could be said for raising his children. Howard wanted children when he married Bernadette but his fear and laziness prohibited him from really stepping up.
Beverly Never Celebrated Leonard's Birthday
Not only did Beverly use Leonard for her studies, but she refused to celebrate him or his achievements. According to Beverly, they were his achievements, not hers, so why would she celebrate them? The cherry on top of a sad childhood was when Penny found out Leonard never had a birthday party. His mother didn't think celebrating birthdays was worthy because giving birth wasn't his achievement; it was hers. Penny did her best to celebrate Leonard's birthday but it didn't last as long as Leonard would have liked.