Raj Koothrappali's character from The Big Bang Theory has been one of the most talked-about roles in millennial pop culture. The astrophysicist, who at one point, suffered from selective mutism, did sitcom culture a huge favor by opening up certain pathways of discussion about masculinity and male friendships.

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Raj was perhaps the most emotionally volatile person in his group. He wore his heart on his sleeve and was pretty open about his anxieties. He also suffered quite a bit of bad luck on the show, romantic or otherwise, which often saw him ranting and raving or breaking down emotionally. 

"Where Did My Life Go Penny?"

This was the precise moment when Raj figured out that he could talk to women with the help of alcohol, and it happened while Penny was mixing some drinks for the guys as she was practising her bartending skills.

Raj was being set up by his parents to meet a girl of their choice so they could get married, and Raj detested the arranged marriage format. After a sip of a grasshopper cocktail, he questions, “Where did my life go Penny?” referring to all his failed dreams, romantic or otherwise.

"Seriously, You Were Just Gonna Drive Away? Like My Life Isn't Hard Enough Right Now?"

raj and howard at the top model house - tbbt

The one thing Raj has always wanted was a safe space to communicate and he often opened up about his anxieties only to be mocked and bullied by his own friends. This is also why his character resonates with younger millennials and Gen-Z viewers: because he would often open up about his personal hang-ups and be honest about them.

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So when his life was falling apart, he really expected his friends to be there for him since they knew how difficult it was for him to go through his parents’ divorce and a professional crisis at the same time. 

"Who Do I Have In My Life To Watch My Figure For?"

Raj looking serious in The Big Bang Theory

Though all the boys (except Sheldon) have ranted about their slow social life and romantic disasters, Raj was perhaps the most vocal about it. Unlike Howard or even Leonard, who were often looking out for meaningless flings, Raj was pretty desperate to find Mrs. Right - someone he could spend his life with.

He sought a conventional old school relationship founded on love and mutual respect. Once, during dinner, as he was busy finishing up a box of pie, Leonard asked him if he really wanted to eat the entire pie alone. To which Raj replied, “Maybe, who do I have in my life to watch my figure for?”

"How Can I Trust You?! I Barely Even Know You!"

Raj and Anu The Big Bang Theory

This was perhaps the moment Raj and Anu decided that they were not getting married for themselves but for other people. During an argument about fidelity, Raj blurts out that he can’t trust her because he hardly knows her.

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This is valid because they had known each other for a very little time, but for fans who are familiar with Raj’s anxieties, this question is actually pretty heavy because the one thing Raj really values in his relationship is commitment and loyalty. The fact that he can’t trust Anu on any level, at least by that point, was a major red flag.

"It Hurts So Bad."

Raj and Emily talking in The Big Bang Theory

Though this was angled comically in the show and Raj was made to look like a naive fool, he was quite devastated after he realized that Emily was dating him for his money. Raj had quite a few social anxieties, particularly about dating, but the possibility that a woman could be deceiving or exploiting him was not something he had considered.

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After he told Emily that his parents were making him choose between her and his money and that he was picking her, Emily leaves him. Post this, Raj breaks down and sobs on Penny’s shoulder. 

"I'm Just Saying That After Everything You've Been Through, You Get To Look Into Each Other's Eyes And Say 'I Love You'. And That's Beautiful."

raj sitting on a couch in a white tee and leonard standing near him in the big bang theory

The TBBT fandom often applauded Raj’s heart-on-his-sleeve approach when it came to his romantic life. He was a big gesture guy and pulled out all the stops when he liked someone. He also valued transparency, which is what made him such a coveted partner. In fact, he was often able to help out when his friends had relationship troubles because he could give them perspective about the bigger picture.

So when Leonard and Penny (who had a rather fluctuating relationship) were going through some issues in their relationship, Raj provided the much-needed support, as he helped them realize why their relationship was so special.

"When I Moved To America, I Was Pretty Lonely. But When I Met Howard, My Life Changed Because We Could Be Lonely Together."

Howard and Raj dancing at Leonard's apartment in The Big Bang Theory

This is perhaps one of the most moving things Raj said on the show because it’s true. Leonard’s mum wasn’t entirely wrong when she pointed out that Raj and Howard created an ersatz marriage in order to cope with their romantic failures.

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Howard and Raj were not just friends, they were also each other’s confidantes. Raj was obviously a lot closer to Howard than he was to Sheldon or Leonard and he also met him first, so it makes sense that Raj would value Howard’s friendship the most. 

"I'm Proud Of You. You're My Best Friend, And I Love You."

Raj and Howard’s relationship opened up a lot of avenues for the depiction of male friendship on-screen. Why can’t male bonding be non-toxic, nurturing and sensitive? Raj and Howard had been friends for a very long time, almost 15 years, and they saw each other grow together, as scientists and individuals.

It was natural for Raj to get emotional when recalling some of Howard’s most significant achievements, just like one feels with the success of a family member, and in a touching scene, they both admitted that they loved each other. 

"Do You Have Any Idea What It’s Like To Be The Guy Without A Girlfriend?"

Raj and Emily

In this rant, Raj gets pretty emotional about being the only single person in his squad, although his main concern was the fact that he’d be the guy who got a girlfriend after Sheldon. However, the group often overlooked Raj when making date plans or scheduling couples' activities.

During a video game weekend that the boys had planned, Penny, Amy and Bernadette intervene and the boys stop halfway to make plans with their girlfriends, except, of course, Raj, who was really looking forward to the weekend. 

"I Think Our Relationship Has Become Toxic."

Howard stops Raj at airport

This was actually a pretty sobering moment for TV as a whole because it never holds male friendships to the same high standard it sets for female-led friendships.

Raj questions Howard about their dynamic and asks why he’s always making jokes at his expense and putting him down publicly. When Howard tries to shrug off the responsibility of making Raj feel better about himself, Raj questions him why he can’t expect that from Howard if they are such good friends. Raj tells Howard, “15 years of constant ridicule, I think our relationship has become toxic. I think we need to spend some time away from each other." 

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