Have you ever thought about the little people, the journeymen directors, the "past it" actors and actresses who must pay those mortgages on the million dollar mansions that they bought when they were "hot"?
Well if your haven't felt a tear in your eye, then now is the time.
Ladies and gentlemen... I give you:
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Beverly Hills Chihuahua is directed by "family film auteur" Raja Gosnell, and is starring Hollywood A-listers: Jamie Lee Curtis , Salma Hayek, Drew Barrymore, Edward James Olmos, Piper Perabo, Andy Garcia and comic legend Cheech Marin.
According to IMDB:
"While on vacation in Mexico, Chloe, a ritzy Beverly Hills chihuahua, finds herself lost and in need of assistance in order to get back home."
Okay, so it's a slow news day (week, month, year) but you really have to feel sorry for these people. If you make films then you obviously love films. Well, at least I'd like to think so.
Anyway, without further ado, here is the horrific poster for this already horrifically titled film:
I'm pretty sure Raja Gosnell loves movies. After spending his time serving as Chris Columbus' editor, the guy must have thought that he'd served enough time to go out and direct his own films. I'd bet money that Raja (I feel that I can call him Raja) directed Home Alone 3 because he knew the franchise and hey - it was his foot in the studio door.
Never Been Kissed probably seemed like a step up the ladder, but after ten years I'm guessing that when Raja looks over his filmography, he must be a little bit depressed:
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Yours, Mine and Ours
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
Big Momma's House.
Where's the Oscar, the awards, the critical acclaim?
Down the toilet - that's where!
Are those the films that you want to make, do they make you spring out of bed in the middle of the night to do a night shoot?
Yeah... I didn't think so.
He probably looks at these films and cries, he probably stands on set and wonders "what am I doing making a film called Beverly Hills Chihuahua?"
Don't get me wrong - I don't blame Raja. If somebody rang me up tomorrow to direct (God forbid) Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2: Look at those puppies - I'd be there in a shot.
I blame the people behind the ideas, the writers and more importantly the studio executives who want these films made. How many actors, writers, directors and even fans have quality passion projects that they would like to make?
I don't know, but there must be quite a few. Then why can't they make them?
Money!! They won't turn a buck.
All that said, Beverly Hills Chihuahua is a children's film and if you don't want to see it then you don't have to.
Just remember those poor souls who have to sign up to participate in such films. They have mortgages too, they have families and bank managers who depend on them.
Beverly Hills Chihuahua opens September 26, 2008