Really Really Ridiculously Funny Zoolander Quotes

Absurd as it was, Zoolander was one of the most memorable comedies of the 2000s. Here are some of the most quotable lines from the film.

ben stiller zoolander

After nearly twenty years since its release, Zoolander remains a hilarious and brilliant comedy. The send-up of the modeling world stars Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander, the dim-witted runway superstar who finds his career beginning to fade while he is simultaneously drawn into an international political assassination conspiracy. It's as weird as it sounds and is still endlessly quotable.

Filled with bizarre and largely moronic characters, the movie has so many funny one-liners. With amazing comedic actors like Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Will Ferrell, they manage to make it even funnier. Revisit some of the movie's funniest quotes that will make you want to rewatch the film right now. Here are the most hilarious lines from Zoolander.

RELATED: Ben Stiller's Funniest Roles, Ranked

10 One Of The Classics

"Earth to Matilda."

Apart from being oblivious to the world around him, Zoolander and the other male models seem to be a few steps behind society in general. Take, for instance, their frequent use of the phrase "Earth to..." which they overuse throughout the movie. The phrase is several years too late to be considered relevant, but they seem to think its totally fresh. What's more, Zoolander and Hansel feel as though the concept behind the joke is too sophisticated for Matilda, and they feel the need to explain it to her.

9 Famous Friends

Billy Zane Zoolander 2 Sequel

"Listen to your friend Billy Zane. He's a cool dude."

Zoolander is filled with tons of famous faces in quick cameos from Donald Trump to Fabio, and of course there's David Bowie. But one cameo that seems to stand out in people's minds is Billy Zane. While he's not the most famous person to pop up, it's a memorable appearance that never fails to get a laugh. Zane is seen as one of Zoolander's celebrity friends who back him up during a showdown with Hansel. Despite starring in Titanic, one of the biggest movies of all-time, this might be Zane's most famous role thanks to Hansel's memorable line.

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8 So Simple

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson in Zoolander 2

"They're *in* the computer?"

While Zoolander is often seen as the dumbest person in the movie, Hansel sure gives him a lot of competition for the title. It probably wasn't the best idea to let two incompetent models be in charge of collecting evidence about an assassination plot, and the whole thing goes about as well as you would assume. After frantically trying to figure out how a computer works, Matilda tells Hansel that the files they need are in the computer. For Hansel, that seems so simple which naturally leads to him smashing the computer open.

7 Bulimic

Derek Zoolander and Hansel looking confused

"You can read minds?"

When it comes to Derek Zoolander, anything longer than one-syllable words runs the risk of losing him. Unfortunately for Matilda, this makes confiding painful childhood memories of her eating disorder a bit difficult. As she finally bonds with Zoolander and Hansel, Matilda admits she dislikes models because of her former struggles with bulimia. Such a sensitive condition is far beyond the knowledge of these two, which is why Zoolander confuses it with telepathy. Not a great guy to share your problems with.

6 Much More Manly


Despite living a lavish life in the model industry, Zoolander is still searching for who he is. He wants to know if there's more to life than just being really, really, ridiculously good-looking. That search brings him back to his blue-collar father who is working in a coal mine. Needless to say, the two don't have a lot in common, and his father becomes extremely embarrassed to see his son in a commercial playing a mermaid. But Zoolander summons whatever dignity he has left and declares he is a Mer-man! Apparently, he thinks that's better.

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5 Meme-Worthy

Mugatu Zoolander

"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

Stiller and Wilson are great as the stars of the show, but the movie is stolen by Will Ferrell as Mugatu. The eccentric and bizarre mega-designer is the one behind the assassination plot in which Zoolander is mixed up. Ferrell is at his funniest in this film, taking full advantage of the absurd character. His funniest moment comes during the climax when he has a full-on breakdown about his unrecognized genius and the fact that no one acknowledges Zoolander's famous looks are all the same. The "crazy pills" line has gone on to become a favorite meme,

4 Pay Attention

Ben Stiller in Zoolander

"But why male models?"

Having Zoolander at the center of this political conspiracy is dangerous, not only becomes of the high-stakes situation, but also because he doesn't seem to understand what's going on in a regular situation. When former hand model Prewitt (David Duchovny) meets with Zoolander to break down the conspiracy, it doesn't go smoothly.

After a long a complex explanation of a centuries-old evil organization who use male models as pawns in their crimes, Zoolander asks why male models, the question that was just answered. The moment is even funnier because apparently Stiller had just forgotten his line and Duchovny's incredulous response was genuine.

3 Personal Heroes

Zoolander 2 poster with Owen Wilson

"Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that."

Owen Wilson has a knack for delivering nonsensical monologues that initially sound profound even though they don't mean anything. He excels at this as Hansel in the film, with his best moment being his rambling story about his own personal heroes. The idea of someone looking up to a musician, not because they like their music, but just because they respect the fact that they make music is both extremely sweet and unbelievably moronic.

RELATED: 10 Funniest Quotes From Pineapple Express

2 Could Happen To Anyone

Funniest Movie Deaths Zoolander Gas Fight

"Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."

While experiencing one of his lowest points, Zoolander suffers a great tragedy. It also happens to be a pretty hilarious tragedy. He and his equally-dumb model friends go out on the two to enjoy some orange mocha frappuccinos. When they stop for gas, his friends get into an ill-advised gasoline fight which ends with them all getting blown sky-high.

Zoolander's eulogy—or eugoogly, as he pronounces it—just adds to the dark hilarity of the situation. It's rare a movie can make you laugh so hard during a funeral scene.

1 Center For Ants

ben stiller zoolander center for ants

"How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?"

This moment stands as the funniest in the movie as well as being one of the most iconic moments from any comedy film. After Zoolander turns his back on his modeling career to do something selfless for once, Mugatu finds a way to tempt him back. By joining his new fashion show, Mugatu has agreed to build the "Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too". Unfortunately, Derek mistakes the miniature model as the actual school, angrily declaring the school must be at least three times bigger.

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