One of the things that made The Simpsons a unique show was the opening credits sequence that included a number of running gags. After three decades, there's a lot to look back on when it comes to couches, supermarket price codes, and chalkboards. There are whole websites dedicated to Bart's weekly message to the world, and the gags range from simple to complex to serious as opposed to funny. Once in a while, pop culture's favorite miscreant actually had something important to say.
There's isn't a different chalkboard gag for every single episode of The Simspons. Not every single opening credits sequence on the show had a chalkboard gag at all, but there are still literally hundreds to choose from. The chalkboard gags include everything from the fourth wall breaks to social satire and wacky ideas that could only come from the mind of Bart Simpson.
"I am not a 32-year-old woman."
"Dead Putting Society" not only contains this self-aware joke, but it's also a fan favorite that sees Homer get what's coming to him. The audience also got to see a lighter and more vulnerable side of Bart, who is pitted against Rod Flanders in a mini-putt game in this episode. The fact is that Bart actually is a 32-year-old woman.
The chalkboard gag refers to the voice actor who played Bart, Nancy Cartwright, who originally auditioned to play Lisa but ended up doing Bart's voice instead. In an interesting bit of irony, Yeardley Smith, who wanted to audition for Bart, was eventually given Lisa's part. The episode aired on November 15, 1990.
"I will not be a snickerpuss."
Not all of The Simpson's episodes had a chalkboard gag during the intro, and this is one of them, but it does have one during the episode. In "Lisa's Date with Density" our brainy hero falls for the class bad-boy, Nelson Muntz, and the chalkboard gag belongs to her instead of her brother. She gets in trouble for watching Nelson harass Groundskeeper Willie and ends up in detention. She then makes a failed attempt to change him for the better, and what follows is a valuable lesson about human nature.
Not only is her writing lines instead of Bart a clever variation on the usual joke, but it contains a subtle wall-break with Lisa asking herself, "How does Bart do this every week?" The episode aired on December 15, 1996.
"I will never win an Emmy."
The writers were probably feeling come conceit and pride when they wrote this gag. On the other hand, they might have meant it as a jab at the cartoons themselves. Animated actors can't win awards, but the rising popularity of cartoons for adults in the 1990s was part of what prompted this joke and was a growing issue in entertainment at the time. Disney's Beauty and the Beast was released in 1991, and the animated characters from the film were present, so to speak, at the Oscars in 1992 to announce the nominees like any other live-action movie couple.
By the time "Homer's Barbershop Quartet" came out on September 30, 1993, the show had actually won nine Emmy Awards. The episode also spoofed boy bands and the culture that surrounded them using the quartet, which was an obvious parody of the Beatles.
"Five days is not too long to wait for a gun."
May 4th, 1994 is when "Secrets of a Successful Marriage" aired on Fox. It might not have been a more innocent time, but maybe it was a less hysterical one. Today, no show would ever make this suggestion at the risk of being accused of having a political bias on any number of social networks, especially a show on the Fox network.
Since the show is about the possible dissolution of Marge and Homer's marriage and Homer's severe emotional distress over the whole situation, this isn't so much a gag as a serious social comment. It's one of the best gags even though it's not really a joke.
"Pain is not the cleanser."
"The Last Temptation of Krust," which aired on February 22, 1998, has very little to do with the controversial movie from which it takes its name, except for the chalkboard gag. There's the obvious parallel to a medieval Christian belief that pain can cleanse the mind and body of sin.
What makes this a good gag is that it's referenced seven seasons later by religious stalwart Ned Flanders in the episode "Home Away from Homer." However, there's the less abstract and more chilling thought of what Bart got caught doing that prompted this particular phrase.
"I will not mess with the opening credits."
"Trash of the Titans" is all about the everyman who thinks he can do a civil service job without any experience or training, because how hard can it be? Homer finds out the hard way not to mess with City Hall and Bart seems to reinforce that message with his chalkboard gag of the week, which gets mixed up with the couch gag.
Instead of the usual sequence of events that shows the chalkboard gag first and the couch gag later, this one skips right to the family rinning to the couch only to find Bart and the chalkboard instead. This episode is a fan favorite, featuring Homer as everyone's favorite anti-hero along with a stellar musical number, aired on April 26, 1998.
"The Simpsons Halloween Special IX."
In 1998, "Treehouse of Horror IX" aired on October 25, and instead of writing with chalk on his blackboard a usual, Bart is scrawling messily with a paintbrush soaked in blood. He only writes a single phrase, which is the chilling title. It's a simple joke but it works well.
The Simpsons yearly Halloween special was always hotly anticipated by viewers. This is also one of the most popular Simpon's specials, including a haunted toupée, and radioactive TV remote, and the aliens that run for president. Homer sums up the futility of the two-party system with a now-famous quote, "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos."
"The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens."
Once in a while, the viewer sympathizes with Bart because his punishment seems to indicate that he was in the right. At the opening of "Husbands and Knives" which aired on November 18, 2007, it seems that Bart was making a joking claim about a historic group of people.
As the gag points out, by using the same criteria that officials use today, many of the early North American settlers from Europe would have been considered as such. This seems completely disconnected from the episode, which is mainly about the Android Dungeons closing down to a competitor and Marge starting a line of fitness centers.
" I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard."
Wait a minute, what's a chalkboard? After 30 years, it's not a shock to see certain running jokes become obsolete. When the very first Simpson's episode aired in 1989, it was a common fixture in the classroom, and they were often green as well as black. It was a treat if a classroom had multicolored chalk.
Today schools have either whiteboards or electronic screens as opposed to chalkboards. This gag isn't just a reference to the changing times in daily life but the show itself. "Lisa the Drama Queen" aired on January 25, 2009, and is the last episode of the Simpsons made in 4:3 standard definition.
"It's 'Facebook', not 'Assbook'."
Here's another example where the viewer might very well sympathize with Bart's point of view. "Coming to Homerica" aired on May 17, 2009, and was eerily prophetic with its portrayal of how the next decade would turn out both socially and politically.
It starts with a gag that references Facebook, which was just entering social juggernaut status at the time. The plot of the episode is about a rivalry between Springfield and neighboring Ogdenville, a thinly disguised allegory for immigration issues.