Blonde will soon be released exclusively on Netflix, and Ana de Armas is being praised for her performance as Marilyn Monroe. However, the film is also getting acclaim for the way it portrays the real-life entertainer's suffering, and based on the reviews, absolutely nobody wins in the biographical drama.

But Blonde isn't the first movie where no one wins, and while viewers generally watch movies for escapism, multiplexes are full of them. Between a Viking's revenge plot that goes completely wrong, a scarily accurate dystopian comedy, and several David Fincher movies, these aren't the most optimistic films in the world.

The Northman (2022)

Alexander Skarsgard in The Northman

The Northman is one of the best revenge movies, as it follows a Viking, Amleth, who attempts to get revenge on his uncle, Fjölnir, who murdered his father. Amleth gets his very bloody revenge, as he kills his mother and half-brother just to spite Fjölnir. But FarfetchedFrank points out that when it comes to the ultimate face-off between Amleth and Fjölnir, it ends terribly for both of them.

They both kill each other at the same time, and while it's one of the most epic fight sequences ever put on film, as the two battle on top of an erupting volcano, absolutely nobody in the movie wins. However, as Amleth ultimately ends up going to Valhalla, some could argue that his ending is bittersweet.

The Hateful Eight (2015)

THE HATEFUL EIGHT

The Hateful Eight is both Quentin Tarantino's most epic movie and his smallest movie, as the 2015 film is a huge three-hour mystery, but it mostly takes place in one location. In that location are eight shady characters who all suspect one another of being criminals. The tension is high, and ad D2022m notes, it unsurprisingly results in each and every one of them getting killed. Whether it's by hanging, poisoning, or the traditional bullet to the head, not a single character survives.

The same could be said for many of Tarantino's movies, as they almost always end in massacres, and sometimes nobody gets away unscathed. By the end of Reservoir Dogs, virtually every character has been shot dead or bled to death. And while Mr. Pink did escape with the briefcase, some believe that he's the Buddy Holly waiter in Pulp Fiction. Though he didn't die in the time between the two movies, going from owning a briefcase full of diamonds to being forced to work at Jack Rabbit Slim's is a fate much worse.

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Darth Vader on Bespin in The Empire Strikes Back

While no one wins in Rogue One, it at least ends with a little bit of hope. The Empire Strikes Back, on the other hand, is crushing devastation across the board. Luke Skywalker learns that his father is a genocidal murderer, Han Solo is frozen in carbonite, so many pilots are shot down by AT-ATs, and the list goes on. Flat_Ad3019 notes, "First time I saw this as a kid I cried at the ending."

It isn't just a movie where no one wins, but the title absolutely spoils that fact too. The name The Empire Strikes Back ruins the ending that the rebellion loses and nobody wins. While it might not give away specific details, such as Luke getting his hand cut off or Han getting frozen, the writing is definitely on the wall.

The Departed (2006)

Matt Damon looks concerned at a computer from The Departed

Stonecipher8 notes that nobody wins in The Departed, the only Martin Scorsese movie set in the modern day. The film has a typically messed-up ending given that it's another Scorsese-directed gangster flick, but this one doesn't see anybody getting redeemed or getting a cushy life in witness protection.

Instead, the movie ends with almost every character getting killed, even the ones with a decent moral compass such as Billy and Captain Queenan. The only two major characters of the large ensemble cast who survive are Sergeant Dignam, who lost his closest partner, and Madolyn, who learned her FBI agent fiancé is really an informant for the mob.

Thelma And Louise (1991)

Thelma-&-Louise-Shooting

Though the 1991 release is a road trip movie, it isn't the typical upbeat comedy that road trip films tend to be, and it certainly doesn't have the cliched upbeat final act either. SingLikeTinaTurner is still getting over the ending of Thelma and Louise, which sees an undeservingly morbid end for the two titular women.

Thelma and Louise found themselves in some tough situations that led to them being wanted criminals, but they were only victims of circumstance. They realized that their only two options were to turn themselves in or drive off a cliff, and they went for the latter. While it has been parodied to death in movies and TV shows like The Simpsons, the ending is no less hard-hitting when watched today, and it still holds up surprisingly well.

Don't Look Up (2021)

don't look up meryl streep president (1)

TheMeticulousNinja points to Don't Look Up as the best movie where nobody wins. The fact that nobody wins in Don't Look Up is terrifying, as it's satirizing real life. There might not be a meteor heading Earth's way that'll wipe out humankind like it did the dinosaurs, but the meteor is an allegory for global warming, along with election fraud and a government that doesn't pay attention to the needs of the people.

However, the movie isn't all dark, as Don't Look Up also hilariously ends badly for every character too. The film has one of the greatest pay-offs in a dystopian comedy. Scientist Peter Isherwell tells U.S. President Janie Orlean that she'll be killed by a Bronteroc, and in a mid-credits scene, decades later, after finding a new inhabitable planet, she is killed by that very alien species.

Se7en (1995)

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Symbha throws the 1995 movie's hat in the ring for the crown of best movie where no one wins. Se7en director David Fincher does everything he can to make the viewer's skin crawl, whether it's the opening credits that feature an industrial version of "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails, the end credits that roll in reverse, or absolutely anything in between.

Detective Mills' wife is murdered, Mills is imprisoned for getting revenge, and Detective Somerset is proved right about his negative outlook on the world. It even ends badly for the minor characters, such as the man forced into serial killer John Doe's game in the sex club. However, some could argue that it ended well for Doe. Even though he was shot several times by Mills, that was his plan all along.

The Platform (2019)

The Platform Zorion Eguileor Trimagasi Ivan-Massagu Goreng

The Platform is a Spanish horror movie that fits into the torture porn category, as it's full of disgustingly graphic sequences of cannibalism and prisoners butchering each other. But it's much deeper than any Saw or Hostel.

The movie is about a high-rise 200-floor prison, and those on the top floor a fed the best food imaginable on a platform. But the platform lowers to each level with less and less food, and those on the bottom level are led to commit savage acts just to survive. Vegan_Cuz_Im_Awesome thinks it's the best movie where no one wins, but adds, "It was a decent representation of society."

Fight Club (1999)

Brad Pitt wearing a red leather jacket in Fight Club

Se7en isn't the only Fincher movie where no one wins, as Semus0 notes that's the same case for Fight Club too. The Redditor explains, "In the beginning, they feel like nameless copies of each other taking orders from an incompetent boss, they end up literally being nameless copies of each other taking orders from a crazy cult leader." However, if the movie is looked at like a romantic comedy, it works out pretty well for the Narrator and Marla.

Fincher seemingly only picks projects where no one wins, as more of his movies end tragically than positively. No one wins in Zodiac, as the killer is never caught and a cartoonist wastes his whole life and loses his family searching for him. And no one wins in The Social Network, as all of the characters have lost millions and Mark Zuckerberg is ironically left without any friends.

Memento (2001)

Guy Pearce holding a Polaroid in Memento

Memento is about a man with amnesia who is trying to uncover his wife's murderer. A deleted user thinks Memento is the best movie where no one ends, and it certainly has one of the most shocking endings. Memento's scenes are played in reverse-chronological order, so the ending is actually the beginning chronologically, and it changes viewers' whole perspective of the events that unfold.

Leonard never gets closure, and he unceremoniously kills Ted, and though it's open to interpretation, it might not have been deserved. It's unlikely that Ted was the killer of Leonard's wife. And audiences are left with the startling possibility that Leonard could kill others and that he could have killed his wife himself.

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