The Office (US Version) was a wildly successful TV series depicting the everyday lives of office employees over the course of nine seasons, but to who or what does this series owe its raging success? Maybe it's the relatability to the average working American or the stellar writing team, but most fans of the show would agree that the secret sauce was the character of Michael Scott (Steve Carrell).
Michael is endearing and annoying, insecure and narcissistic, vulnerable and resilient. Like an onion, Michael has many layers, but he's also full of hilarious one-liners that only a masterful comedian like Steve Carrell could deliver with a straight face. Here are 10 of the best Michael Scott quotes in the show.
Updated by Madison Lennon from February 12, 2020: Despite the fact The Office ended a while ago, Michael Scott remains a cultural icon. Steve Carrell's career took off after his scene-stealing portrayal of the bumbling boss. Tragically, he never earned an Emmy Award for his role, something that many fans of the sitcom still lament to this day.
But even so, his legacy lives on. GIFs of Michael saying ridiculous things are found on social media regularly and many people even quote him equally often. We thought now would be the perfect time to revisit this list and add a few more amazing Michael Scott quotes.
On Fooling Him Once
Is anyone more endearing and funny when they mess up old adages more than Michael Scott? Remember when he delivered this iconic line: "You know what they say. 'Fool me once, strike one, but fool me twice...strike three."
It doesn't make any sense and yet most people can relate to totally fumbling an idiom or popular expression. Obviously Michael is mixing up the "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" and also the "strike one, two, three, you're out" expressions by combining them into two that makes zero sense, yet with Carrell delivering it, it somehow works.
On Weddings
One of the perfect "Michal Scott" moments on the show happens in the episode where Phyllis gets married. During an impromptu speech, Michael says "Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch."
Obviously, he has gotten wedding confused with welding but the utter sincerity with which he delivers the line is what sells it as such an iconic Michael Scott quote. Many fans of the show have even delivered the very same line in their own best man or best woman speeches because it's just that funny.
On Dwight
Everyone loves the season three episode, "Safety Training," for so many reasons, mainly because of Michael's ridiculous take on how to prevent suicide. There is one particularly hilarious moment where he's standing on top of a roof and shouts down at Dwight for messing up his "example." He yells, "Dwight, you ignorant sl*t."
For those who are very familiar with Saturday Night Live, you might have gotten the reference to the infamous Weekend Update sketch where the line originated. But even if you don't know where it came from, just the fact that Michael calls Dwight an ignorant sl*t of all things is enough to make you laugh.
On Beyoncé
"I am Beyoncé always." Almost everyone knows that quote even if they don't know what it's from because it's so hilarious and it's the perfect way to cement your confidence. The actual quote comes from Michael Scott during a conversation with Andy about the film Obsessed.
Andy says that he's Beyoncé and Michael is Ali Larter but Michael immediately interjects with the above quote. I mean who wouldn't want to be Beyoncé? She's basically a national treasure and for all his faults, Michael Scott, at the very least, respects Beyoncé.
On Britney Spears
Just like Beyoncé, Britney Spears is a cultural icon in her own right, Michael respects that. That's why he whips out one of her infamous catchphrases and says, "It's Britney, b*tch," when he returns to the paper company and strikes out to make one of his own.
The entire moment is made even better by the fact that when Michael pulls up in his car with the top down, he's playing Lady Gaga instead of Britney but it doesn't lessen the impact of the hilarious moment any less.
On Superstition
"I’m not superstitious, but I am a little 'stitious."
The Office is filled with amazing quotes from Michael Scott, but this one is a fan favorite. In true Michael Scott form, he does love a good play on words and, let's face it, he probably thinks that "stitious" is an actual word. This quote has been given without any context clues to preserve the sheer randomness and prevent spoilers, but he does deliver this one-liner while looking directly at the camera. Good lucking finding it! Hint: it involves Meredith and a fun run.
On Being Loved
"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
This classic line was delivered by Michael Scott during season 2's "The Fight," an entire episode revolving around a showdown between Michael and Dwight at Dwight's martial arts school.
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As absurdly funny as the episode is, this line is by far the best thing about it. So, is Michael Scott deeply insecure or slightly narcissistic? Probably a little bit of both.
On Bedtime Habits
"I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms."
Season two was packed full of amazing Michael Scott quotes, including this one, which was delivered on episode three "The Office Olympics." Michael Scott's logic is truly mind-blowing, isn't it?
I'm sure he thought this was unbelievably clever before AND after he said it, especially as the part where he said he had worms went right over his head. Ah, to be that naive and sure of yourself.
On Toby
“If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."
Fans of the show are all very aware of Michael Scott's hatred toward Toby, an unassuming, mild-mannered man who works in human resources, but we never really understand why. Saying that, the fact that we never know the source of Michael's vitriol makes it all the funnier (plus, who doesn't have a nemesis in the work place)? The depth of Michael's feelings is expressed perfectly in this hilarious quote from season six.
On Speaking
"Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way."
One of the most endearing things about Michael Scott is how unexpectedly relatable he can be at times, particularly with this quote, delivered in season five's "The Duel."
Sometimes people have a bad habit of not thinking before they speak, but at least Michael Scott is aware that he has an uncontrollable motor mouth that is constantly getting him into trouble. In an office environment, there are plenty of people who like to hear themselves speak, but not many people will admit that they have no idea what they're saying half of the time.
On Misusing Common Sayings
"It just seems awfully mean. But sometimes, the ends justify the mean."
Michael Scott is guilty of butchering common sayings all the time, and this is just another one of those times. Unsurprisingly, this particular quote is said in season five's episode titled "Frame Toby," so fans can probably guess what Michael's referring to. In another episode, Michael says "well, well, well, how the turntables," so his inability to properly use old adages is a constant source of laughs throughout the series.
On Inside Jokes
"I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday."
This joke is both sad and funny, much like Michael Scott's character. This particular quote comes out of Season three's episode titled "The Convention," after Michael has lost Jim to the Stamford branch of the company.
Upon seeing Jim alongside his new boss at the convention, Michael brings the cringe by trying to be "in on the joke," but it's clear he has no idea what's going on. Again, it's that vulnerability that makes Michael Scott's character lovable.
On Faking It
"And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do."
Um, who can't relate to faking it in the office? Michael Scott delivers this iconic line in season five's two-part episode titled "Stress Relief," considered by many to be the best episodes of the entire series. After Dwight stages a very realistic fire drill, his co-workers truly believe they're trapped inside a burning building. Chaos ensues, but it culminates in Stanley having a heart attack due to the stress. As a result, Michael is brutally honest about how ill-prepared he was for an emergency.
On Wikipedia
“Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.”
This quote appears in the 18th episode of season three, "The Negotiation," when Darryl approaches Michael about wanting a raise. In an effort to prepare himself for the inevitable confrontation, Michael turns to Wikipedia to look up "no-fail negotiation tactics." As you can imagine, the advice he finds is pretty awful, but leave it to Michael Scott to turn to Wikipedia for management tips.
On Dirty Jokes
"That’s what she said."
Hey, we saved the best for last! "That's what she said" is Michael Scott's trademark phrase, and any true fan of the show has probably thrown this sexually charged joke around in mixed company a time or two (or a few hundred).
Believe it or not, Michael Scott didn't coin the phrase, although The Office definitely popularized it. The earliest documented case of the phrase appears in a 1975 episode of Saturday Night Live when Chevy Chase used the joke during "Weekend Update" in the first season.