Crazy-big fandoms tend to attract a lot of merchandise. Lord of the Rings, having been an established fandom for so long (it’s been almost a decade and a half since the 2001 release of The Fellowship of the Ring), has its own fair-share of product integration, some admittedly better than others. While movie-merchandising is generally of the poster and t-shirt variety, there are some movie memorabilia items that are seemingly tailor-made to become sellable merchandise (like the One Ring).
But because of the rich and lush world Tolkien created, there’s a particular draw to the over-the-top merchandise, from the crazy-detailed products to the crazy-crazy products. So here are the 12 Craziest Lord of the Rings Themed Merchandise we found.
Hobbit Hole Play House
A Hobbit hole means comfort, and who doesn’t want to live in comfort? Maybe we can’t all live in a Hobbit hole, but some lucky kids can certainly play in one with a Hobbit Hole Playhouse. Inspired by the Hobbit Holes of Middle-earth, the HobbitHoles Etsy shop sales playhouse kits, starting at a little over $1,500 (USD).
While many of Tolkien’s Hobbit holes were quite spacious, especially the Smials built by wealthy Hobbit families, the playhouses are more comparable to the basic burrows, with just enough room for young kids to run around. But just like Tolkien’s Hobbit holes, the playhouse’s architecture is notable for its round door and round window.
Gandalf and Saruman Salt and Pepper Shaker Set
The fight between Gandalf and Saruman lives on as one of the greatest wizard fights in history, so it’s really no surprise that the epic battle has been re-created in miniature form. But it’s a little crazy that, in a moment of genius, someone realized that the wizard’s respective outfits would make spot-on salt and pepper shakers.
The character-product integration is so good, it wouldn’t be surprising to learn Tolkien intended Gandalf and Saruman to become salt and pepper shakers all along. Place your salt in Saruman the White and your pepper in Gandalf the Grey; then the set will lock together as if engaged in battle.
Lord of the Rings Guitar Signed by Elijah Wood
For the Lord of the Rings fan who also loves music comes this signed guitar. Generally, a near $700 price tag for a guitar would get you a mid to high-end instrument, but the selling point on this particular guitar doesn’t seem to be the actual guitar. For example, there’s no information on brand, type, or quality, though it’s pretty clear it’s an electric guitar.
No; the selling feature here is a close up of Elijah Wood’s face in character as Frodo and the actor’s accompanying signature. The guitar is authenticated by PSA/DNA, which is said to be one of the world’s leading third party autograph authenticators, and it comes with a Letter of Authenticity. But there’s no word on whether you can actually play it.
Middle-earth Jewelry Box
There’s no shortage of fancy jewelry in the world of The Lord of the Rings, including one ring to rule them all. Obviously, if you have the One Ring, you wear it around your neck and never let it out of your sight. But what about your more everyday jewelry, like Elrond’s Brooch and the Evenstar Pendant of Arwen?
That’s where this expensive (just under $200) and intricate Middle-earth Jewelry Box comes in. Part of the Noble Collection, which also makes several pieces of high end jewelry that it sells separately, the jewelry box is made of hardwood, with impressive detailing. It has enough room to store all of your Lord of the Rings inspired jewelry; plus, it even has a special place to store the One Ring.
Hobbit Feet Slippers
Hobbit feet may not be seen as a desirable characteristic to those inhabiting Middle-earth, but that didn’t stop ThinkGeek from creating Hobbit Feet Slippers. For those unaware, Hobbits are known for their tough, hairy feet. Another notable quality of Hobbits: they almost never wear shoes thanks to the leathery soles of their feet.
While Tolkien never describes Hobbit feet as particularly large, they are often depicted large for the Hobbit’s relative size – actors in the Lord of the Rings film trilogy wore large prosthetic feet – and are always covered in long, curly hair. So if you’re tired of your normal, human feet, some plush slippers covered in hair might just do the trick.
Lord of the Rings Tea sampler
If you’re going to eat 6 meals a day, it only makes sense that you have a different Lord of the Rings themed tea for each meal. The Tales and Tea Leaves Sampler, “tea for those who wander,” has 6 different teas, including Wizard’s Grey, Second Breakfast, and Elevenses. But it’s not just the loose leaf tea that you’re paying for; each themed tea comes in a metal tin covered with crazy nice art inspired from Tolkien’s universe.
And for the real collector, as opposed to someone who plans to drink the tea, you can even buy a framed tea set. The shadowbox can hang on your wall as it displays six Lord of the Rings tea tins, with each tin containing enough tea for a full pot.
But if you don’t like tea, there’s always Lord of the Rings themed soda to quench your thirst. During 2003 and 2004, various soda companies decided to make several different versions of Lord of the Rings promotional soda cans.
The cans feature different characters from The Two Towers, and while you can no longer buy them in stores, you can find them on ebay if you’re willing to pay around $20 (USD) for an empty can. Last year, the 2004 Italian set of five Pepsi cans was priced just at $125. But you can also find a Sunkist can featuring Sam Gamgee, a 7-Up can featuring Arwen, and a Canada Dry can featuring Gandalf.
Crochet Dwarven Beard and Hat
The Dwarves of Middle-earth are known for one of their most distinctive characteristics – their fine beards. Dwarves, both male and female, are born with their beards, which is part of the reason non-dwarves have trouble distinguishing between the two sexes. Dwarves do not shave at all, unless it is in shame.
So of course everyone wishes their beard game was as good as Gimli’s; a fact that Etsy seller FayMade understands perfectly. The seller has crocheted a Gimli-inspired helmet with detachable beard, which is basically the only winter hat you’ll ever need.
One Ring Pillow
The One Ring was created by Sauron and is essentially impervious to damage. While the ring normally appears plain, an Elvish inscription can be seen when it’s cast into fire. Replica One Rings are admittedly big ticket sellers among fans and are often used as engagement rings. But if a replica seems too impractical, there’s always the One Ring pillow, which is the same basic shape as a hemorrhoid pillow.
It’s a large, plush pillow, except with a giant hole in the middle in order to simulate that it’s also a ring. The inscription is actually hand-drawn with gold fabric paint so that no two One Ring pillows are alike.
Gandalf the Grey Candle Holder
Gandalf the Grey’s staff, with its twisty branches and claw-like shape, is undeniably nice to look at. But most of us don’t go on long treks and have no use for a walking staff – no matter how pretty. That’s why the folks at Noble Collection have repurposed that useful, wooden staff into a porcelain candle holder.
Standing at about 9 inches, it looks as if the top of Gandalf’s staff has been cut off, in order to contain your decorative votive. The tiny candle holder doesn’t come cheap either, costing almost $60. And unfortunately, it’s likely even the most die-hard Lord of the Rings fan would recognize the candle holder as a recreated staff without some other context.
Gollum and Gandalf Wine Stoppers
Well something has to protect your precious, so why not a Gollum Wine Stopper? The set of wine stoppers comes with two: a pewter bust of Gollum on one and Gandalf on the other. They each measure about 2.5” tall, with cork bottoms.
From the National Entertainment Collectibles Association (NECA), these wine stoppers appear to no longer be in production. However, you can still find them on eBay, some even complete with the original Lord of the Rings packaging.
Lord of the Rings Chess Set
One of the most crazy-impressive and expensive (coming in at just under $500) pieces of Lord of the Rings merchandise you can own, this movie inspired chess set has practically everything. The 32 pewter chess pieces are precise miniature sculptures of the movie cast members, with each piece receiving personal approval from the individual actors.
The base has two images from the movies, and visible underneath the plexiglass playing surface, there is a sculpted relief map of Middle-earth. Side niches allow you to display the extra pieces you can buy from The Two Towers or Return of the King character packages sold separately (each costing over $100 USD). It’s so nice, there’s a possibility you’d never want to touch it, much less use it to play chess.
Those are just some of the craziest Lord of the Rings merchandise we came across. Do you own any of these things? Which would you want to buy? What other crazy products have you come across? Let us know in the comments!
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